10.29.04-- My cat is working for Bush.
I've returned from my trip to Boston. More like outside of Boston in Wellesley, MA at Wellesley College where I did a three day residency of performances, workshops, and presentations. It was a great time. And being in the woods at an all women's college for five days, and staying in a feminist co-op left me nothing short of the horniest performance artist on earth when I got back to LA. For reals. It was utopia as much as it was a ticking estrogen time-bomb. They have this thing called "the Honor Code" and so everyone leaves their bikes out unlocked (nice bikes too), don't cheat on tests, or leave their backpacks out on benches and retrieve them unscathed later on in the day. It's unreal. But it's also unreal to see all these women who seem to not be going nuts living in a total bubble from reality.
So anyway, my friend cat-sitted (cat-sat?) for me while I was gone. He accidentally closed the bathroom door where the litterbox is on one of the days. And he was like, "I don't know if Oliver held it in, or what, but I didn't see any cat poop anywhere else in the house. So it's fine."
I knew that couldn't be true. As much as I would like to believe that Oliver is like a human and can hold it in, I knew I'd find a surprise somewhere as there was the faint smell of shit everytime I came home. I just thought, "Oh maybe it's just the new crystal litter I am using. Or the fact that Oliver is slacking and not covering his poop as well as he used to when we had that clumping litter."
Anyway, so just now I was cleaning up this giant pile of papers and clothes in my living room (it's the "drop everything here when I get home pile") and I find a dried up cat turd rolling around in it. YUCK.
And I clear more papers to find that Oliver took a perfectly aimed shit right on my voter guide, and he somehow covered it in a napkin. Some of the shit got on my ADHD booklet that I was supposed to read to figure out my options now that I supposedly have "mild ADHD."
So now, not only do I have to throw out my ADHD booklet and will never figure out how to deal with my short attention span, but I have no idea where my polling place is because I had to throw my voter guide out too!
Sure, I was tempted to try to read the booklet with the dried shit anchored on top, to flip through and figure out the different propositions and where my polling place was while this big dried poop weighed down the pages, but the smell was so bad. I actually did hold the guide, with the shit on top of it, above my head to see if I could just tear the cover off and keep the rest, but it SMELLED SO RANCID!
So I had to trash my voter guide. And now this weekend, I will have to do some research to figure out where my polling station is. Hopefully I don't have to show my guide to vote. I hope I can just show my ID. I haven't voted since that ridiculous recall election, and I still forget how it works. Someone help me!
This is just another hindrance for me as a voter. A form of voter intimidation. Something to keep me from voicing my opinion!
My cat is working for BUSH!
And here are the details for this weekend's Billionaires for Bush event. Please come if you can! --- Kristina
Lady Mora Cha-Ching of the Billionaires for Bush cordially requests your attendance at...
The Multi-Billionaire March on Halloween-- Celebrating Wealth in the Times of War!
Join us as we sing the joys of war (i.e., our profits) and support the re-election of our friend, partner and business colleague, George W. Bush. Then join us for a game of croquet (we'll roll astro turf right out in the street), followed by a Mini-March on Santa Monica Blvd. to show our strength in numbers (even if it is only 1%). It's Halloween, and the prospect of our Lead Oilman not getting re-elected is just too scary! This may be the last chance before election day to keep the power in the hands of the highest!
When: October 31, Sunday Meeting spot: Corner of San Vicente and Santa Monica Blvd.
Time: 7:30 (We'll be singing and greeting until 8:00 or so, so don't worry if you are stuck somewhere)
Parking: Is tough and close to impossible to find on this crowded night in Weho, so if it's a night off for your limo driver, take a bus or cab.
Come dressed as a billionaire (Gowns and suits).
The following make great billionaire props, so wear/bring them if you own them:
Martini Glasses (plastic
is safest)
Monocle cigars
Fake money (to drape yourself with or stuff in your pockets)
Tiaras for the ladies, top hats or yachting caps for the men
Pocket watches
Gloves
Furs (for neck or full -on mink stole)
Taxidermy cat or toy stuffed Cat (persian or exotic breed is a bonus)
Cigars or long stem cigarettes
Golf clubs
Croquet mallets
Your billionaire name and persona
Bush, Cheney or Rumsfeld masks are welcome
Remember, darling, too many props is unbecoming.....Just kidding!
Print out your banners and signage on this site, we may not have signs for everyone: http://www.billionairesforbush.com/materials.php
To prepare yourself accordingly to becoming a billionaire please study... http://www.billionairesforbush.com