11.2.05-- Day of the Dead alright.

I almost didn't go out to Weho on Halloween because the BF was so tired. My mom called to tell me how the post office screwed up and lost half the presents I sent them from Korea. Also to check on me.

I told her, "Oh, the BF is not feeling too well so we're going to stay in tonight."

I did a double take. Did I just talk like an old married co-dependent lady?

"HE'S not feeling good, so WE'RE staying in?"

WTF? Are we some kinda two headed monster? He yawns, so I sleep?

I could even tell from my mom's reaction of "Oh, that's...nice", she was really thinking: "That's not the way my independent progressive post-feminist daughter talks. What the heck? "

So I said later that night, "Screw this, I'm going out even if he's staying in." Timo came by dressed as a girl and we took the bus to Weho. I don't understand why people try to drive it. It's $20 to park. The bus is $1.25 and takes you right there. The whole time we walked up to Santa Monica Blvd., Timo was screaming at people in their cars who were inching along looking for parking, "Next time take the bus assholes!"

Man, what a dissapointment. Last year's parade was like on a weekend, a few days before the election, and it was like a big anti-war rally. There were some great political and conceptual costumes last year and a lot of variety. Plus I organized that big Billionaires for Bush mini march so we were the stars of the parade.

This year, all I saw was a bunch of clearance costumes from Party City, a couple of Napolean Dynomites and a really dead-on Ali G. That was it though. Men in drag-- boring!!!

I ran into a bunch of friends from college. My friend Helena went, I didn't see her, but she said she saw some badass costumes.

This was the best most dead on Ali G I've ever seen.

Does this guy look familiar? It's Todd of my bigbadchinesemama.com site. He lives literally, 3 blocks away, and I never see the guy. Anyway, I bought this costume with him like 6 years ago and he still wears it. So when I ran into him on the street I practically beat him up for wearing it again.

I think I am equally exhausted by the political state of the world. It took so much energy for me to put this freaking costume on and just get on the bus to Weho. I could have done something political but was like, "No! No more! No more political costumes! I am so tired!" So instead, I was a "smart person" for Halloween-- wearing my cardigan, pocket protector, glasses and propeller beanie. I had on more clothes than any other woman there that night.

I didn't see any political costumes. A few Katrina costumes, the craziest one being these two white guys with life preservers that said "Katrina is a Bitch." They held little black baby dolls and their SS# written on their arms. I probably would have found the costume offensive if it wasn't actually so close to reality.

CARNALVILLE is a success!

Carnalville was wonderful. It was the first time I've co-curated something. So it's something to be proud of because it was such an undertaiking. We literally set up a fully functioning carnival in a theater space in 5 hours!

I have no pictures yet and don't remember a thing that happened during the show. Only that five minutes before we opened there was all this drama and this woman wanted us to move our petting zoo because it was blocking her art in the gallery, and I had already had a discussion with her that we were putting a petting zoo there and she was fine with it then. And then, during the show, the folks at Highways became concerned about the live pit bull that we had in another artist's piece and it caused all this back and forth drama. And we finally had to take away the pit bull at the request of the Highways Board. (Not bad though, an art piece so controversial that it actually got pulled at Highways!) Then I began freaking out because people seemed to be leaving the show quickly, but in a way, it's the kind of show that you don't have to stay the full 2 hours for.

We had an artist giving lapdances, people accusing us of animal cruelty, a peep show and an S&M-esque petting zoo, and I was looking at all of this thinking, "Oh man, we're never going to get grants again."

I'm so glad it's over. It was great for the audience, but so hard on me. I'm glad it's done with.

My poor bf. He got suckered into staying late with me until every last bit of the theater was cleaned up. And holy moly christ, there was way too much to clean up! We pretty much took apart the entire theater to make the show happen. And then when the fun of the show was over, we had to put it all back. We removed all the risers, took down the black curtains, moved all the tables in the lobby.

And my poor poopy had to move all the risers and breathe in the black dust coming off the curtains and sweep up all the dust. Unfortunately that's the territory that comes with dating performance artists. Some weeks out of the year, you need to get on OUR schedule and you get recruited to help us with our shows, take us to the airport, help us make strange props. For neither money nor glory.

We got into a mini argument in the car on the way home. He didn't like how I pretty much monopolized his weekend with the show AND the cleaning up after, I also monopolized our Friday because I took us to this gay bar and we didn't get to go to this concert he wanted to get to. And I got mad that he was not understanding about how Carnalville was such a big deal for me and that I needed his support.

When we got home I started crying like a big baby. I think all our neighbors must have thought that a three year old moved in. I was wailing and snotting and tearing. I couldn't stop crying and mumbling about all the trauma and drama of the day. I think it was just all the stress of the show and playing "party host" for like 13 hours straight finally (plus all the work for the show from the weeks before) cracked me open. Plus I was physically exhausted from running around helping 12 artists get their pieces on their feet, doing the running man in heels in the peep show, and carrying and moving all this shit around all day.

He was so sweet, he kissed me all over my face, wiped off the snot on my cheeks, and held me and apologized and kept saying, "It's over baby. Don't cry. The show's over now sweetie, you don't have to think about it anymore."

It reminded me of when I was a little girl and something would scare or upset me and my parents had to hold me and say, "It's ok, the bee is gone now Kristina, don't be scared, you are alright. Stop crying..."

Why is producing a performance art lab and show so traumatizing?!

Kimchee pancakes

The first day in Korea I had these excellent Kimchee pancakes. So I looked up some recipes on the internet and made some today off of this recipe...

I was super nervous about how it would turn out. I usually never cook so extensively. I usually just stirfry and that's it. But this involved mixing, measuring and chopping. I don't even have proper measuring cups. I have one cup that measures 1/4 of a cup, so I have to bust out with my math to figure out how many 1/4 cups make up this and that. Also, believe me, chopping up wet Kimchee on a cutting board is a pain in the ass.

But these were really good. Almost as good as the ones they serve in Korea. They taste a lot better than they look. The dipping sauce is good too.

Our 60 oz jar of kimchee now is about half full. I am a domestic goddess! Huzzah!

love,

kristina