Help?

11.16.04-- How do you extinguish the apocalypse with a shot glass of cold water?

I am very late with this update. I am sure the blog fanatics out there have read one too many depressed post-election blogs. But here. Add yet another one to the pile.

Actually, I'm not so much depressed anymore. I was crying, bawling in fact the morning after the election. I cried to my doctor about Bush and she told me that I should get a medical evaluation because I was so emotional.

I stopped crying and my face shot back a look of horror: "I have to take meds because of Bush's re-election? Wha!?! Am I not entitled to a few tears?!"

Apparently, I'm not entitled to cry. Because my appoinment to figure out what kind of brain drug I need to go on is next week. I've been griping to friends about this. My fears about brain drugs. Uppers. Focus drugs. And the friends who I thought would commiserate or find this story totally appalling or whatever are all on drugs themselves. I found out that I've got tons of friends on Prozac, Celebrex, Aderol. And all of them swear by it.

I'm not into drugs, especially ones for the brain. I really don't like the idea of taking medicine that will affect my brain. I am sure this stigma comes from when I was young. My mom was so against therapists when I was growing up. I remember asking her at 13 if I could see one and she said "no" because my future employers would find out and I wouldn't get a job. I guess she was right because not seeing a therapist early on made me the successful performance artist I am today.

Yes. As I rant, rave, spill my guts, pour out the family jewels, and emote on stage, I don't have to worry about getting fired for being in therapy at 13! Because I wasn't in therapy! So too bad! You can't fire me from performance art job that doesn't pay anything anyway! Had I seen a psych back at 13, I'd probably be like an engineer now who was always scared that my past history of psychotherapy would put me at risk of losing my job. Hell, that's no way to live!

Anyway, I wonder how many people have been told by their doctors to take a pill for this or that as an indirect result of what I see as the natural depression that has resulted from this election. Or the state of the world. I wonder how many doctors just start prescribing pills at the sight of tears. I wonder how many people are on medication who really don't need to be. I wonder how much the drugs actually do something vs. knowing that the drugs are supposed to do something.

The irony of taking medication is that the pharmapheutical companies that make these meds pocket a crapload of money from overpricing their medication. Then, they hire lobbyists to siphon a ton of money to Bush who in turn, will make it impossible for people to buy the meds at a decent price. So it's like I had to take meds because of my disgust for Bush, yet Bush will make it impossible for me to purchase these meds at a decent price.

Anyway, enough of that talk. I got back from Florida last week. Yes, a red state. Not just any red state, but a red state that's Bush Squared. Not only is George the President, but Jeb is the Governor. Those poor poor people. It's not easy when your state is shaped like a gun. Let me tell you.

	I was doing my show "Free?" and split the bill with Shyamala Moorty who does a show called "RISE." Her show is about the riots in Gujarat, India. She melds Classical Indian Dance with monologue and contemporary movement. And everything revolves around a toilet. It's brilliant. But we couldn't get a toilet on the plane. So here is Shy with Satish, our amazing student host. We went to Lowes to buy Shyamala a toilet for her piece. The intent was to return it after the show.
	We went by a swamp to look for Gators. Florida is Gator Country! There were no lights out so we had to look for little bumps in the water that were most likely gator heads. I was so excited because I took this pic thinking that this was a baby gator. It turns out it was just a pipe.
	This is Mark. He's a student at UFL. We ate at an Asian fusion place outside of a swamp so their exit doors to the patio overlooking the swamp warn you not to molest the gators. Gross. We got all mosquito bitten when we went out by the swamp.
	Who needs meds when you can be an Asian American celebrity in Gainesville, Florida?! That's what I'm talking about! I signed autographs for these students. It was an ego boost and a half I tell you. I pretty much wrote "Fuck Bush" and "Screw the Man" on everything I signed. I felt like a celebrity.
	Before we returned the toilet to Lowes, we got in these delightful post-show pics with the kids. It brought me back to my days in college when I spent a lot of time barfing into toilets.
	After the show we treated the kids to a couple of pitchers of beer. The kids were so awed by the gesture. We felt like mommies treating the kiddies to beer. But we felt like bad mommies. Anyway, the kids were so cool. Who knew there were so many Asian American kids in the middle of Florida? I sure didn't.

I think what was scariest about Florida is how strong the Republican presence was for a college campus. It's scary to me not knowing who might be for Bush. Being face to face with Repubicans is so scary to me. Just the ride from the Orlando Airport was freaking me out with the big Bush signs on the side of the road. The frat houses have huge two story "W" flags made in American flag print that hang facing the street. Apparently the frats used to have a party called "Mekong Delta" where the guys dress like GIs and the women like Vietnamese prostitutes. That's classy. They still have that party, but they've renamed it to try to get the Asian Student groups off their backs.

The tech guys who ran our show voted for Bush. And as soon as I found out I wanted to hide because I became hyper aware of where they might debate with me about my show.

I'm leaving for SF on Thursday, doing a panel/performance with the Asia Society at the Oakland Museum. I haven't been home in months. That's crazy. Can't wait to see my grandpa, my folks, and whoever else will see me.

In other news, the Billionaires for Bush in New York have asked me to co-lead the LA Chapter! I really don't have the time to do it. But I believe in them and said I would do what I could to help generate more public appearances in LA.