LAST Saturday was Chinese New Year, so my brilliant idea was that I would get dressed as Fannie Wong and crash the Miss Chinatown pageant at the Westin Bonaventure. My friend Remi came to document the event. Oh... it was great! I think people didn't know what was going on when this wild and demented looking ex-beauty queen complete with sneakers and a sash was talking in a Brooklyn-esque accent and talking about "how as a past winner, she was cheering on all the girls." One of the board members actually took a picture with Fannie. And Fannie talked to some of the judges. It was lonely though. People weren't exactly racing up to Fannie to talk. (Probably intimidated by her beauty and celebrity status). So Fannie made a point to introduce herself to people as they came into the area outside the ballroom.
But soon the jig was up. One of the pageant coordinators approached Fannie and started grilling her. "What year did you win?" (Fannie's response: "I am a lady and do not care to reveal my age, so I cannot tell you.") "Who was on your court your year?" (Fannie's response: "Oh who cares? Winners and losers, all the years since then blend together!") "Who was your sponsor?" (Fannie's response: "A restaurant in Chinatown, and the ownership has since changed hands. They make a good braised tofu dish.") Apparently, this person did not believe Fannie was a real past winner of the pageant-- the horror! Like being disowned from your own family!
Then the board member who took a picture with Fannie was ordered to ask Fannie to remove her sash because people were thinking that Fannie was the "official representative of the pageant." Which apparently, she wasn't, even though she is a former 2nd runner up of the pageant. What's that all about? It was humiliating. Never has Fannie Wong had to be desashed! Then security came, told Fannie that she was not wearing the appropriate shoes (!), had no invitation and had to leave! Ah! Terrible.
Well, it's all documented on tape. Sort of. I forgot to explain the zoom out button to Remi, and she tried to capture all of it in a little one by one foot square. I watched it last night and got motion sick. But later that evening we went into Chinatown where the public greeted Fannie with the full respect that Fannie deserves. The footage from that looks great.
Fannie had a celebrity polaroid booth in the Chinatown plaza. You could take a picture with a real celebrity for only $2! Autographed too! Unfortunately, the people in Chinatown get rather intimidated by celebrities and do not care to pay for the opportunity to come close to greatness. It was a rather long wait of waving and saying hello to passerbys before some smart people came by and took pictures with her. Fannie even got $5 from some Costa Rican tourists who appreciated her fine beauty.
But again, Fannie Wong was insensitively victimized by her community. A security guard approached her and said that she was "soliciting" and that was illegal. She would have to leave. He did not care that Fannie was a cornerstone of the community or that she was doing a special favor for her community by giving them the opportunity to come close to her celebrity self on this special day. And even when Fannie broke down and became Kristina, he did not buy her story that this was a "conceptual art piece." Pigs. So Fannie again was ousted by her community.
Tomorrow, is the Chinese New Year Parade and Fannie and her friend asianprincess is Marilyn Monroe will be in their official costumes waving to real Miss Chinatowns in the parade.
Fannie will be respected by her community. She will be re-embraced. She will not be de-sashed again.
In the meantime, check out the campaign Fannie is staging (key word here is "staging", as in staging a PERFORMANCE) against the Chinese Chamber of Commerce. It is called "Fannie Wong is not a criminal!"
Check this site later for performance stills of that night.
Later that evening I transformed into Kristina. And here are some pictures from the party at the Grandstar and other week highlights.
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Look how classy Charles, William, Sophia and Eugene are with the drinks they brought to the club.
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No, that's not me! It's Yi who does a mean Axl Rose. The great thing me and Yi have in common is that we love Guns N' Roses but as socially conscious women, still find it difficult to rationalize our love for their music with their misogynistic and racist lyrics. During the Grandstar party she did a wonderful performance art piece that was an incarnation of what she worked on during TeAda Works. |
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There was an MC battle that night and as those MC battles go, it was a big sausage fest and a bunch of guys showing how fast they could talk about dicks in pussies. So my friend Stephanie and her friend Maria (pictured over to the left) demanded that I go represent the ladies up on the stage. Now mind you, I don't go to hip hop shows and when I do, I don't take the stage. But I got pushed up there and found myself chanting about how I would kick all the guys in the balls and "Take your dick and I put it in a trash can!" Then I led the women in the audience in a cheer of "Pussy Power!" Then when I thought people might think I was whack I said, "You can't laugh at me because I am the only woman here!" Just call me "MC K". Then this old Chinese man who was walking by watching all of this, asked for the mic. He was so cool. He was yelling into the mic, "Don't tell me emotion, show me! Sing a soft song!" I think me and him feel the same way about these MC battles.
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My new friend is Elan who approached me at the party after I freestyled about castration and pussy power. Turns out he saw my "Miss Chinatown 2nd Runner Up" show this summer in San Pedro. And what's better, is he totally got it and remembers some of the smallest details from that show. Those are the friends who I keep! I like it when people can look past the shocking parts of that show! He is an artist with no day job like yours truly. Look at the pictures he drew of me. He's a keeper. |
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This is Bobby. He is an asshole. Yes, I am usually diplomatic when describing people on my site, but Bobby is an asshole. While dressed as Fannie earlier in the evening in the Chinatown Plaza, Bobby walked by with several friends. Bobby made a point of saying/yelling several times (four times exactly I counted on the tape), "You are so ugly!" As if once was not cruel enough. As if I were to suddenly break down and start laughing at how clever an observation he made. So I guess he insisted on telling me several times how "ugly" I was dressed as Fannie because I didn't seem to hear him the first time and respond the way he wanted. Then he said, "You know who I am." And then walked off and didn't even bother to take a polaroid with me. The cheap bastard probably didn't want to shell out $2. To his credit he did ATTEMPT to apologize later that night at the Grandstar when I saw him. He could have made it up to me by buying me a drink, but Bobby is cheap. He said he should have said "beautiful" not "ugly" and he had made a "freudian slip". (Doesn't "freudian slip" mean that he secretly thinks I am ugly?) All class that Bobby, all class. And with that cool bandana on his head he doesn't look a day over 35. |
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Here is a pic of me and my friend Paula. We went to the "Loveboat" program in Taiwan during college. Going to bars is like a flashback thing for us. |
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At Track 16 last night, we went to see world famous Paul Zaloom! Who is the only man over 50 that I will publicly profess my love for.Why? Because he is a puppeteer. And I am a sucker for puppet shows! Especially high-as-a-kite, more-junk-on-stage-than-a-yard-sale-offering, political satire puppetry. He performed as part of an anti-war themed show. Track 16 is the most fabulous gallery on the westside. All of their exhibitions are very political in nature and what I think real cutting edge should be. Paul's new show is "Mighty Nice". And in his excerpt he took us to the scary year of 2222, when the ocean has risen to cover the United States and all that is left is Kansas. He starts the show coming out in long johns and a tin foil hat, much like Woody Allen in Sleeper! Marry me Paul! |
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My new best friend Anna Wang, took some excellent new headshots of me that will shoot me off into stardom! We did some rolls of other themes. Me as white trash, me as Eve (first woman of the Bible), me as a cat, me as Fannie Wong, and others. Look for the pictures down the road when I make giant screensavers out of them so that I can pretend to be like all those famous people who have their own screensavers. I feel like Anna is my long lost twin. She makes the same weird noises as me. And is coated in cuteness, much like yours truly. Go look her up if you want pictures. I recommend her! Anna is coincidentally the cousin of my friend Daisy. |
In other news, the non-union days for me are up as I got my last SAG voucher and will be making my appointment with SAG in a couple of weeks to join. Which basically means I will be throwing down $1360 to join a union and still not work! Augh! This town is so stupid. But hopefully I will make enough for the health benefits and can quit this whack ass internet health insurance plan I got now that only lets me see a doctor two times a year (See:"Health Net PPO"). Best of all, I might be able to do more stuff than these whack-ass non-union jobs. Why am I a magnet for people who want to cast me in bad martial arts movies, melodramas, and bad bad bad scripts? I haven't done anything lately because all the open calls I see are lame. With the exception of a few choice projects I've been a part of, BURN HOLLYWOOD BURN! And not that union gigs don't suck either, but at least I will have some rights!
I didn't understand why I was especially selected to be play a "scholarship competitor" in this movie called "Girl Next Door" about a teenage straight-A student who's dreams come true when an adult movie star moves in next door (See: "Kiddie Porn"). Dumb and gross movie plot aside, I got to the set and saw that my headshot had been enlarged and placed on the stage! YIKES! I guess because my old headshot looks like a class photo and I am not dressed all sexed out like every other actor in LA, is why they chose me and the others to play the students up for a coveted scholarship.
The kids at the Teen Theater I teach are all dropping out. They have been with the program for almost 3 years. I was really down about it at first because I wanted to give them a better send off and wanted to see them off to college. But the staff at the center has been really supportive. The kids were getting pretty emotionally abusive towards me and another staff member for the last few months, they had maxed out the possibilities for what they could do with the program, and I wasn't getting to do what I was hired to do-- teach theater! I am getting set up with new kids to teach from a new program! I feel really good about it. I like this group of kids I am getting and am excited about getting my hands dirty and really teaching them some new skills!
Me and my friend Nurit will be splitting a double header in JUNE at Highways! Mark your calendars!
My friend Wes wrote me to tell me that him and his wife saw me on ER last Thursday! I missed it! Did anyone tape it? I guess I have to wait for the season on DVD. I don't have any lines. I just take notes, then nod and pass a clipboard to one of the principles. My episodes of STREET SMARTS was on already. I got that on tape. It was sad, but people have been writing me to tell me what a freak I am.
See you soon!
Kristina