Hello little people,

All morning I've been rereading the press blurb put together by the REDCAT publicist and now my ego is bigger than Los Angeles.

That's right biotch! I have "irreverent and provocative work"-- what have you done lately? Nothing compared to my "politically charged art with unapologetic humor." says Bitch Magazine

Wow, in the last minute, my ego has grown to the size of the entire West Coast. Yes! Pretty soon, I will have my publicist do these blog entries while I am out in the Cayman Islands enjoying a Mai Tai while my "sharp humor" does the work for me!

Oh look, my ego is now pushing past Canada and Mexico.


Before I explode, it's time to announce the winners of the "Guess What this Gross thing is Contest"



Only three people wrote with their guesses so we have three winners.

1st Place goes to my friend Denice who lived in the dorms with me freshman year and recently reconnected with me to ask me questions about my car.

Denice's correct guess: "my guess is beer drinking white man's back in dire need of a shave
with pressure induced paraspinal bald spot and plenty of skin tags vs human chia pet vs bearded back lady"

2nd Place goes to Amanda the Oceanographer who found my site through Wes' wife's knitting blog

Alison's guess: "It looks like the very hairy back of a guy I dated before I knew any better."

3rd Place goes to Helena who guessed wrong but it's a funny enough guess that she gets a prize anyway.

Helena's guess: "my guess is that picture is a huge loaf of bread with mold growing all over it that strangely resembles a hairy back."


Congratulations! You all win handicrafts from me! I think I will have more contests like this in the future, so look out!


Yes folks, it's a white dude's back. A drunk white dude who was having a bachelor party in a karaoke bar in Chinatown and making lots of homophobic comments into the mic and cursing his fate in marriage. Not hard to guess, but let this back be a reminder to all those young Asian American girls stewing in the self hatred that I once did and who may have even said aloud once or twice: "I'd rather have a white boyfriend than an Asian one because Asian guys are dorks."



Yes, young Asian American women who have said such things aloud, you reap what you sow.

I checked the REDCAT SITE and saw this listing for the show I'll be in a few weeks!


My pic looks so awesome in the listing. And here's the press quote.

KRISTINA WONG
Incisive writer and performer Kristina Wong mixes sharp humor and shaky psychology in Wong Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, a semi-autobiographical, serio-comic quest for a cheap fix to eradicate depression, anxiety and all-out neuroses. Wong's irreverent and provocative work has given her a national cult following for "politically charged art with unapologetic humor." Bitch Magazine

Dude! I didn't even write this! I didn't even know I had this press quote from Bitch! Damn they're good. The thing I sent them was so boring. (something like "Asian women have the highest risk of suicide wah wah wah")

Man, I want the REDCAT to write this show for me!

This is so legit sounding!

I'm legit.

My next posting I will announce the winners of my contest. I have to see a movie with my beau now.

I don't know what Maury Povich is putting in her water at home, but suddenly Armageddon feels closer.




Aiyah!

Anyway, nobody sent me any guesses as to what the scary thing in this picture is...



I'll give you one more day or guessing and then I'll forfeit the prize.

I'm leaving this crazy town which is making me broker by the minute. Jezoids, I'm not even staying at a hotel but it's like the minute I leave my friend's place in Brooklyn I can hear the cash registers ringing me up! Where is this money going? Let's see--food, ticket to see Sarah Jones on Broadway, more food, cab. Freak, it's pricey. It's raining and early in the week it was hot and humid. I feel like I've been camping all week. This city is like urban backpacking.

Now I am just killing time until the Chinese Car Service takes me to Penn Station.

I don't have time for a huge blog but I wanted to set up a little contest...

THE "GUESS WHAT THIS GROSS THING IS" PICTURE CONTEST



First person to guess correctly will receive a handicraft (made by me!) in the mail. Email your guess to k[AT]kristinasherylwong.com. I'll post correct and incorrect answers in my next post. I will also give out honorable mentions, and maybe more prizes if your answer is close and creative.

What an awesome trip this has been. Colleen and her friends can really drink. They keep a great blog called "Stoop to Our Level" about hanging out in a yuppie neighborhood in Brooklyn and trying to keep it real as the last of the lower income bracket.

Here we are last night, I was taking the picture...


Such a simple idea and yet really beautiful. It seems "the art of stooping" doesn't happen much in that neighborhood, which is too bad because it's a sweet little tree lined street in Brooklyn. We were pretty loud and I think all the neighbors got an earful about really personal stuff we were ranting about. I did a little Flashdance/West Side Story dance off in the street. The whole scene was so "227" or one of those sitcoms where people hang out on the stoops.

It's been a great stay and I've been contemplating this whole "bi-coastal artist" thing and how I can make that work. I had some really great meetings out here and I think I can see myself coming out here more over the next few years. Pretty exciting stuff.

Wow, are all these people waiting for tickets for the Hip Hop Theater Festival? Oh.... no... they are actually waiting for free tickets to Macbeth in the park.
















Oh man, yesterday was the greatest New York Day I could have hoped for.

I tore the house down! I'm not even bragging! But I am. I got two standing ovations in my 15 minute set! One was halfway through the set and then when it was done, the crowd was loving it so much I pulled up my dress up to reveal my unitard.














Here I am backstage in my mega fancy Flashdance unitard. I did this whole tribute to Flashdance in my piece.

It was like I could do anything I wanted and they would love it. I couldn't believe it when they were standing up and I was only done with the first of 2.5 pieces. I was thinking, "Am I at the Public in New York City at the NYC Hip Hop Theater Festival and are people I have not met before today standing up for me in just six minutes? Oh shit."















This is Kokai, the winner of the "Voices on Blast" Competition. He was awesome.






























Yay for strangers who love me!

So many people I hadn't seen forever had come, my friends who live out here, a friend from high school who I didn't even know lived out here, and even some strangers who had been to my site or saw my desperate "please come to my NYC show" email float by on a listserv somewhere.

And as if the night couldn't get more awesome, I took the elevator down to the lobby and saw a group of Asian folks and was like, "Oh wow, are they here for me too?"












Actually, no, they were there for Sandra Oh who is in the play "Satellites" also playing at the Public.

I was too shy to say hello, so instead I took these paparazzi pics and also I crashed this group photo unbeknown to all the folks in this pic.














(Can you spot me in this picture?)

She's not as tall as you'd think. The Wong is taller.

Then I went to Rififi, this bar in the East Village and who do I see but David Cross and Jeaneane Garafolo!!!! I saw more stars last night than I ever have in Los Angeles. And what's crazy is they were all within touching distance. I was too shy to say hello to Jeaneane but after some liquid courage had no problem totally assaulting David Cross. My friends told me to play it cool. But no way man, it was David Cross.

Our conversation:

"Oh my god! I love you! My boyfriend and I love watching the 'Don't put your dick in these holes' sketch! We watch it almost every morning. And sometimes we start singing the Auld Lang Syne song to each other. I loved watching 'Let America Laugh'! How are you? I love you!!!"

He said, "I love you too. You have flowers."

I said, "I just did a show at the Public. I love you!"

He looked impressed for a half second, and then I think my screaming made him suspect I was lying that I did a show at the Public and then he said, "Oh? ok."

I said, "We have to take a picture! Oh my god! I love you!"

He said, "Ok....Can I hold the flowers?"

I said, "Yes of course, I love you!!"
















New York, I love you too!! I'm on fire!

I'm here! Just blocks from the beautiful Public Theater. I'm so nervous! My face is on the poster with Jerry Quickly! Tonight is my NYC debut!!! A huge milestone in my life happens tonight.



I am doing my piece "Checklist" which uses projections and the seating isn't too conducive (thrust stage) to seeing the projection which is the basis of the whole piece. I'm feeling so intimidated that I am here.



This theater is so beautiful. I was looking at the posters for all the shows that have been here. Man! What a dream.

Oof, it's a pain to do shows in NYC. You have to bring all your crap on the train with you. Last night I was dragging my roller bag 8 blocks through Manhattan, 8 blocks through Brooklyn, and up and down stairs. It was a world class pain in the ass. And Colleen lives on the 4th floor of her building! No elevators. I sweat through everything by the time we finally got home. We had to stick a fan in the window to get some air going. I slept without sheets.

This morning, I bought an overhead projector from the Manhattan Staples for the show which will get returned later and I lugged a cart that I packed from LA, all my props and costumes on the train. Luckily the Staples is only 3 blocks from the theater, but I have to figure out how I'll store this baby until I can return it tomorrow. How do people here put such amazing theater together without cars to lug all their stuff?

I am getting really nervous.

So I'm here in NYC, just got in about an hour ago and took a cab right to the offices of Playgirl because I'm staying with my friend Colleen. Playgirl shares an office with a bunch of adult magazines. Really blech magazines like Barely Legal and that kind of High Society stuff. I'm totally exhausted (had to be at the airport at 4am) and the last thing I wanted to see on my arrival was a clown porn magazine lying out.



Ugh, yikes. I feel my innocence has gone.

It's kind of how I imagined a porn office would be. Very quiet. The phone does not ring much if at all. People are hidden inside their cubicles. Mountains of porn back issues everywhere. There are men who are middle-aged and have ponytails and potbellies. And there are just normal dudes hanging around. It's funny that in the middle of the office are the cubicles for Playgirl where a bunch of riot grrl ladies with tattoos and cool glasses are grabbing screenshots of movies and stuff. Right now Colleen is editing a fashion spread.



Here is Colleen, the career girl, hard at work. I made her pose with a weiner pic.


She showed me this bulletin board of scary letters they get. I took some pics but can't post them. They are all in little kid writing, some on binder paper, one is on yellow legal pad paper with white out. A lot of them have either repeating lines and lots of mispellings. There aren't a ton of them and they are kind of funny in a "oh god, who are these people" kind of way. They all seem to be from men!



Unfortunately, the horoscope column I've been writing for the last two months is getting phased out at PG to make room for more weiner pics. WAH! Oh well. I'm sure there's another porn magazine that caters to women and gay men that will take my fake predictions on.

Right now I'm chilling in their intern cubicle with this inflatable doll. I'm just killing an hour before Colleen gets off work. I'm tired. I think all I can do is blog because the only other thing is to read the magazines lying around. And well the selection of reading is....


I hope I don't have the flu, I was reading an article Margaret Cho wrote for PG about shitting in India and suddenly I felt overwhelmed by sickness. Ugh. Get me out of this porn cave, I need a nap.

***

On a non porn note, I was at the "Next Big Bang" (not a porno) Asian American Theater Conference the last two days and got to connect to some great folks that include Jessica Hagedorn, author of Dogeaters. That woman is so badass. She signed my book. And in a panel she called me by my name from across the room.


"Kristina, Kristina"

Love it.

Helena says she misses my old blog. I must say Blogger is a pain to navigate. Wes Kim who set this blogger up for me... are you out there? How can I make this more easy to navigate?

I also got called into jury duty. Need to think of why I am not a good candidate. Here are some reasons I can tell them.

-- I smell like poo your honor.
-- I wash my own pads your honor.
-- I'm a super leftist your honor who loves chinks and am a chink but don't call me chink--that's racist. (This is a reference to a Sarah Silverman joke that got her in trouble.)
-- I can't speak English your honor even though I got my BA in English Lit.



Me and some friends went to Kip Fulbeck's "100% Hapa" exhibit at JANM. What fun. Asia Carrera is featured in it. I screamed out loud "OH MY GOD! ASIA CARRERA!" in a very quiet museum.



The best part is we got to be in it. We had to take our photo and answer the question "What are you?" My answer of course was totally insincere and evasive.

I guess I need to take a break from spamming hot pictures of me on Helena's motorcycle all over myspace to tell you all that I have a show in NYC next week! At the Public!

Here's the info, I also posted my calendar on the events page of the site.

Hip Hop Theater Festival 2006
Wednesday, June 21
7:30PM - Mainstage Shorts
The Public Theater
425 Lafayette Street, off Astor Place in Manhattan!
Tickets: $25 regular, $10 students & seniors, group discounts available
Buy Tickets and read more info at http://hiphoptheaterfest.com/

A Night of Excerpted Works Featuring some of NYC‚s most talented playwrights and performers from the hip-hop generation.
Shorts by Keith Josef Adkins, Jennifer Cendaña Armas, Chastity Dotson, Edwin Lee Gibson, Kenichi Ebina, the Winner of Voices on Blast Competition and ME! Kristina Wong!

(I'm doing 15 minutes of my show "Free?")
Free? written & performed by Kristina Wong -- With more street cred than you can shake a pair of Hammer pants at, Kristina Wong swoops into the NYC Hip Hop Theater Festival to riff on notions of freedom in times that would make Joe McCarthy gasp. Excerpts include a satirical homage to "save the world in five minutes" spoken word, a Flashdance tribute, and an explanation (or un-explanation) of why she prefers life in the almighty closet.


AND THE NOVEL PROGRESSES
In other news, I am putting together the first draft of this novel. Vince wanted to see more pages of it to get a shape of how the story unfolds in order to think about screenplay adaptation. That was motivation enough to get chugging on this. FINALLY I AM GETTING TO WORK ON SEEING HOW ALL THESE CHAPTERS COME TOGETHER! I hear writers average eight extensive drafts before the final one comes together. Sometimes it's as much as twenty. That sounds about right. This book ain't in pretty shape yet. Good images but I deperately need to lay this all out and take it all in.



I'M IN PAIN/ NEED TO TAKE UP SEWING
My hands and arms hurt so much yesterday! The combo of stress, crochet, and typing really did them in! I need to really lay off the knitting and crochet. I did buy a sewing machine off Craigslist. A White 2999. But the seller forgot to give me the pedal and it didn't come with a power cord. So I have to wait for her to settle into her place in Virginia and mail them to me. But the machine was only $20 and it's a $300 machine! Woo woo!

My old neighbor, Natasha emailed me about Asia Carrera today. Natasha's a sociologist, and I'm like an unpaid, undegreed sociologist. I check Asia Carrera's blog every so often and have been following her progress as a retired porn star for a the last couple years. She's really proof that after working in such a thankless business, you can be totally domestic, happy, and raise a family. Asia Carrera proved to me that women can create new starts for themselves no matter what their past history is and that sex workers are capable of raising healthy happy families. She even wrote that she was planning on homeschooling her kids so that they would have the best education possible.

Natasha eluded to Asia's blog which I hadn't checked for a while. I logged on and was shocked when I read that Asia's husband was killed in a car accident last week. Asia is eight months pregnant with their second kid and they already have one daughter together. She's a widow now. She's alone and scared and has to raise two kids on her own. This would be hard for any woman, but I imagine it's especially difficult for her since Don (her husband) was so key in helping her finding a more normal and domestic life outside the adult business. And also if she does need to move onto a new career to support her kids, it's going to be so difficult to find one since most employers won't be able to see past her last career.

I met both of them a couple years ago at this signing she did in Hollywood before she retired. I've never been to a porn star signing but I decided that I really wanted to meet her because I had been reading about her for so long and found the way she presented herself and subverted so many notions of "the dumb porn star" to be really fascinating. She has a real great sense of humor about herself and is totally book smart. She's also the only porn star in MENSA, the organization of geniuses.

Her husband was a really sweet guy. Not anything like the creepy kind of guy you would imagine would marry a pornstar. He took a pic of me and my friend with Asia. He was a really genuine and sincere guy. He was caring, protective, and supportive of her. I was so happy to meet them and to know that the two of them were going to have a new life together.

I called Natasha and we were both totally shocked about all this on the phone. We were talking about how we wanted to send her money or go help her. We asked ourselves, "What is she going to do when she's in labor?" "What will she do for money?" "How is she going to handle these kids on her own?"


How is it that this Asian American ex-porn star became this close friend who we don't actually really know personally but feel we know so well? Why do we feel that we know her so well that we feel so compelled to help her? That we get teary for her when her fairy tale new life came to a screeching halt?

Is it that she represented some kind of transformation, some kind of spirit, the will to live a better life and be happy? Is it that we also feel cheated by her loss?

I wasn't able to get this pic to post yesterday. But Helena and I made the LA Daily News. Click on it to see it bigger!

Finally, a chance to recap the weekend!

This morning Oliver (the cat) puked in the living room, then later I discovered he took a dump in my purse. Luckily I had emptied my purse out the night before, so clean-up was really easy. But man, what is wrong with that cat?


Anyway, Saturday was International "Knitting in Public Day"-- who knew such holiday existed? The theme of such a special day-- "No longer will we hide on couches and Lazyboys! We will come out with our needles, our stitchholders, and we will be counted!"

And so for the first time, I actually took my crochet project (such a rebel I am, crocheting on an international knitting day!) and actually got social with other socially phobic women (and one man).















It was so cool! A lot of the women were working with tiny needles making socks. I am all about stashbusting! I pretty much finished my project at the park because my hook was so big. My project was pretty fast!

We were all so nerdy together talking about yarn, patterns, and how much we love knitting. I've found my people!

Check it out, it's my Adam and Eve jungle scarf thing....



















This will probably be a gift for a friend! I noticed that a couple of people bought me stuff off my Amazon wishlist! Thanks! This may end up being your present back from me, depending on who you are!















Here's a close up of the scarf.


And yesterday, Sunday, was a whole other kind of coming out! LA PRIDE 2006!!!
















(Oh wow, an almost naked guy on a parade float! You never see that at Gay Pride Parades!)


You know, I'm pretty closeted and non-commital about whatever the heck it is that I am, because my friends do such a good job of kicking my ass out of the closet for me.

For example...

My friend Raquel was like, "Hey Kristina, wanna perform.... at our lesbian cabaret?"

I was like, "Perform? Hell Yeah!"

And my friend Helena was like, "Wanna ride your bike in a parade... the PRIDE Parade?"

I was like, "Ride my bike? Hell Yeah!"

So yesterday was the first Pride Parade I've been to where I was actually in the parade! We rode with the Dykes on Bikes! It was so awesome. Those women are freaking fierce! And they don't F around either. Good thing I had this Harley ready to ride and my vinyl-leather look skirt ready to go!



















Sike! I don't have a motorcycle... This is Helena's! I do have my dorky bike. So yesterday, I guess you could say I was a dyke on a bike (cycle)!















Yep, this is more Wongstyle.

It was pretty funny, the whole time down the parade route I was making "vroom vroom" sounds and pretending to rev up my handlebars. I high fived people and screamed out, "Dykes on Bikes!" from over handlebars (I guess that counts as my coming out!) And people laughed at me as I tried to look tough alongside the motorcycle mamas. In the pic above you can see my bike shorts coming out of my skirt!















Here's Teri and Helena, looking all badass. I love how Helena looks like Abe Lincoln and Teri is all Harleyed leather girled out. Teri actually wore just bandaids once we got on the motorcycles, but I'm not allowed to post those pics, even though thousands of people saw it anyway yesterday.

Teri said at the end of the day that I was crazy-- HELLO? Who is the one riding around on a motorcycle with Korean Abe Lincoln with only bandaids on?!
















We were the only Asians as part of "Dykes on Bikes" and all the Asians on the parade route screamed for us! I felt like Miss Gay Asian America on wheels! Above are my friends Alma and OShea who I hadn't seen forever!
















Look, it's Helena and our famous friend Rex who is on "Entourage."

Because we went first in the parade, we got to watch the rest of the parade. It was a long parade and I was getting sunstroke. And I mean LOOOOOONG. After a while I started screaming, "How many freaking gay people are there in this city!? My god!!!"


















And yay, here is Janice Dickinson's scary overly botoxed ass. I guess she's the new Judy Garland.
















Here are the PFLAG folks who always make me teary at prides.
















There was such an odd juxtaposition in the line-up order. We were totally laughing because this totally tacky Hummer with Lesbian erotic dancers comes along and the women are like grinding on the asphalt and then right after is this much less showy gay Unitarian church. Above is Jeff Stryker who I think came after a politician. At first I thought he was a politician and was like, "Why is that guy riding around with his shirt all unbuttoned?" And once we figured out who it was, all the women around me were screaming like crazy. But weird how the men didn't even budge.



















And yes folks, "Mr. Christopher Street Leather Man 2007" is an Asian Man!!! This and Annabel Chong proves we are coming up in the world!
















The LA Leather men say, "Don't oppress our lifestyle, our masters won't allow it."
















Fellow performance artists, the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.
















For the most part we were screaming our heads off at all the parade stuff. And then comes this guy with a nurser bra on a bike and it was like this shudder rippled through the crowd.
















And what's great again is running into folks you know. We went to "Here" after. It was so fun. Bars at 2pm! Haven't done that in a long long time! Here are some friends from college. The one with no shirt on is Manyee who I did shows with, the other is Brian who I was in UCLA Unicamp/cult with. They were pulling on my long hair (I haven't had long hair in forever) and they were like, "Girl! Is that real?"

It's always so awkward too to see people from college, especially Brian because his last memory of me is me as a totally psychotic mental case (which I am no longer, of course). But what's great is now I get grants to make work and travel and talk about having been a total psychotic mental case! Sweet redemption!



















And here is Helena, being a party kill by busting out the knitting at a bar. And it's so tacky too what she's making. Tsk Tsk. Who knits at a bar?

Oh wait, she's actually imitating what I was doing ten minutes earlier.


AND NOW... to make up for the fact that I put totally sexy/attractive pictures of me on the internet that some freak pervert will find hot enough to get off on, I will counteract any arousing effect of them by posting more pictures of my knitting!!!


First! The Knifty Knitter Hats!!!! All these will eventually be gifts for friends. They each took less than 2 hours each on the round loom! I knit most of these while carpooling with friends!






































































My friend Isaac is graduating from UCLA Film and TV with an MFA in screenwriting this week. Rather than spend big bucks on an orchid lei, I decided to make him one with what I had! I hope he likes it and still feels masculine wearing it.



















These are blankets I did for my boyfriend's father and his friend's baby. I mostly wanted to destash through obscene amounts of yarn.

My partner took me out to a birthday dinner last night at a Mexican Restaurant in the neighborhood. Vince called me as we were walking down there to tell me how awesome my novel looks so far. Vince is the only friend who has seen chapters of my still unfinished novel. I've been so shy and very insecure to share it. This meant a ton to me especially because I respect Vince so much and he reads a lot of fiction. I invited Vince to come eat with us so I could have my ego stroked over dinner. We got each other really excited as we talked about adapting this still incomplete novel to screenplay.

I was screaming, "Yes, Sundance! Then Cannes!"

But what was even cooler about yesterday is that my partner said he would buy me a sewing machine for my birthday. Yes! I actually want a sewing machine. I've always wanted my own sewing machine to make costumes, presents and stuff, but now I feel that I actually have the motivation to start and complete some simple projects. And so much stuff that people wear now is really simple things that have been reconstructed or have a few flourishes sewn on. The kind of stuff I see and scream, "I can totally make that! If I had a sewing machine."

And after being a Craftster.org junkie, I think I have some ideas for simple projects I want to take up. I've also been making gifts for friends, and feeling so good about it. My favorite item from childhood is a yellow quilt my mom made me (it's getting kind of ripped up in my apartment over 20 years later). I have so many memories of that blanket and being comforted by it. I made a few blankets this year (one for my partner's dad and two for some babies) and it's nice to think that they might follow people through their lives and give them so many nice memories. I like looking at the stitches and thinking how that time I spent on them is captured in those stitches.

The other night, I watched this documentary called "Go Further" where Woody Harrelson rides around in a biodiesel bus with some friends through three states to promote sustainable living. It's funny how many people call him "Woody Allen" the whole time. Woody Harrelson rides in a bike alongside the bus and they all eat raw foods and talk about how milk has pus and blood in it. (Of course, I was simultaneously cooking clam chowder as I was watching this.)

But anyway, as super preachy as the movie was, it made me really glad that I've made some of the choices I have lately-- the veggie oil car, the cloth pads, being a fish eating vegetarian for over 15 years (though the seafood thing was only a recent addition a few years ago), bike riding and walking more over driving, making things for people instead of buying, and now sewing my own clothes. I've been happier than I have ever been in my entire life lately and it really comes down to learning to live on less and find happiness in simple things. I'm really learning, as I think I figured out early on, that having expensive things and "stuff" can be really stressful.

So I've been doing a little bit of research online for a sewing machine. You can buy a lot of stuff on Craigslist for under $100 but those are used and have no warranty. And then there are a lot of really cheap machines at Walmart (gasp!) and decently priced ones on ebay.

I'm trying to spend less than $200 for a machine that will last me forever and will eventually sew heavy duty things like fake fur, denim and vinyl. It would also be cool if it did lots of cool stitches including the elastic stitch.

It's quite a hunt trying to find a good machine, so if anyone has leads or advice, please offer them, as I am new at this Susie homemaker stuff.

I gripe about the high prices of strait jackets because just yesterday I was invited by the REDCAT to be part of their NOW Festival this summer. What a dream come true! An amazing opportunity that crashed right into my lap! Am I busting up with good luck these days or what?

I need the strait jacket to take a press picture for "Wong Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"-- they needed pics so last minute and I had nothing for this current show. I had to send them pics from me dressed like Miss Chinatown and from "Free?"

The flimsiest strait jackets are like $40! Diana and I will shoot next week and we are taking filmic photo inspiration from movies like "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest." The pics will be too late for their brochure, but will be great to have on hand for the shows I'm already lining up. Check my events link! I can't believe how busy it got so fast. I'm already scheduled into next year and it's only June!

Who knew going so public about mental illness would be the best career choice ever?















What a great birthday I had! The show went over so well and the reception was a really fun affair out by the garden. So many friends were there for me! My fellow workshoppers surprised me with a cake! My birthday, June 4, always seems to fall on the same day as a banquet or a big event and never ever have people turned around and surprised me a cake! Oh wait, yes, they have, never mind. But anyway, it was a great surprise. I held up my cake and screamed, "I'd like to thank LA County for never returning my phone calls when I was desperately in need of mental health services! It is because of them, that I became a performance artist! Thank you."















Look how cute my friends are.




















The arm of my mysterious boyfriend is behind me. And the beautiful fruit tart in front of me!


And now, pictures of me and Helena sitting in Mandy Moore's car!



Helena and I are two gals with mischief on our minds. We were checking on our cars last week at LoveCraft and decided that we would pretend we were part of Mandy Moore's Entourage and impress you all with our close proximity to celebrity/ Hollywood BS. Here I am being sneaky as pie as I make my way to the driver's seat of her car.





And here I am with my hands on the same steering wheel that Mandy Moore puts her little pop star turned actress hands on. Oh yeah!!


Here's Helena busting a move in the passenger seat.

"Yo, I'm with Mandy," Helena says.









And here Helena proves that a woman with a stationwagon is damn sexy. Pack those dogs in that car girl!



My car has been so much fun to show off! Today I took Vince for a ride and also my friends Ryan and Joan. They were so impressed by me. Showing the car off at the show was a lot of fun too!

Anyway, back to writing these dirty horoscopes for Playgirl! Hey! Nobody sent me any suggestions for horoscopes. Wah!!!