My mother told me to not post anything that looked bad on the family which is why there are no new blogs. But I am doing fine, and crafting, and slowly working on getting my workshop going in LA.


I found these strange videos on youtube.

I did very well last night. The show ran at less than the 2 hours in Berkeley. I packed the place past capacity and the audience was with me, I think, the whole time. A standing O after! I connected with a lot of people. Many who drove a long distance to see the show. It's amazing how people feel so open to tell me about all the mentally ill, depressed, suicidal people they know after the show. I appreciate that people feel so close to me that they can share, but I still am not sure what to say to all these things. I can only listen.

This show has been so emotional to do. Not just the content but all the pressure of doing it. The pressure from other people, the pressure to feel this show needs to be "more commercial" and appeal to other outlets, the pressure to not offend anyone (oops, too late there), and all sorts of other bs.

A friend who came to my show who I always saw as so put together shared with me a story about her nervous breakdown. It totally shocked me because I actually model part of my character in the show after her. A lot of her breakdown was triggered after Iris Chang's death. It was really intense to talk to her. I wanted to cry with her. I wonder if this show is going to make people be reminded of their breakdowns or trigger breakdowns to come.


Thank you everyone for sending your emails of encouragement. I need so much support from friends now. It's been a really scary, exciting, trippy ride this past year.

Well, my second run of WFOTCN is tonight in San Jose. I have two "critic's picks" from the SJ Mercury News (for some reason they ran the NY Times pic of me from the master cleanse article) and the Metro News. I can't believe how good the press has been to me up here.

Running myself ragged plus the stress I do so well at giving myself, plus doing this show in my hometown has made me really sick this week.

I'm taking all sorts of medicine but what I need the most is some good old fashion sleep. My family was giving me a hard time about staying in a hotel in Berkeley and San Jose when I could just stay with them in San Francisco for free but it's really stressful doing three hours of driving everyday in addition to the responsibilities of this show. Last night I finally got a hotel room to myself and it was the first night of peace I had in months.

But all night I had nightmares about not waking up in time to feed the meter outside and getting a ticket on my car.

I am actually looking forward to when this show is over tomorrow. I almost feel my body screaming, "Please stop! Before you become chronically ill!" I'm so absolutely exhausted. I want to spend the next few months taking care of myself again. Eating well, exercising and having some leisure time. A lot of my family and artists guilt trip me for paying people to help me out or staying in hotels or things that are quite standard, or should be, in this profession. It's really irritating because they are the same people who tell me to take care of myself. What the heck does it look like I'm trying to do here?

If my next show is about guilt, it's going to be several days long.

I wish people would understand that what I do is a real profession and just like other professionals, I need to delegate my work out, and do professional things like stay in hotels and not on people's floors. I'll say it once and I'll say it again-- I refuse to romanticize the term "starving artist." So much of being a Creative Capital grantee has taught me about how artists subject themselves to so much self abuse and end up getting sick or quitting or going bankrupt.

I'm really trying to alleviate my workload and make my life easier next year. Already there are some amazing things in my queue. And despite the absolute irritation reeking in this blog post, I really feel like my life is coming along, right where it needs to be!

Thanks to the article in the NY Times about my bowel movements, I've gotten lots of emails, including one from a literary agent who is interested in talking to me.

The Master Cleanse ROCKS!!! Clean colon and perhaps a boost in my writing career!

I am still exhausted from the show. I was just on the radio here in Berkeley. It's archived on the web.... here... Click on "Mon 12.10.06| Asian Ups and Downs"-- I'm on the first half.

Ok, time to head back to SF. Going to try to get to San Jose today.

It's going to be a tougher gig because my director and tech person are going back to LA.

So it's early Sunday and I am still alive!

My show went amazingly well last night. I love Berkeley crowds. I swear I could just chuck the script and let them shout silly stuff out all night. Which is pretty much what happened at last night's show. I was so thrown off with how the place packed to standing room only ("Wow, I know I don't know all of you!"), and how much they were laughing at really mundane stuff ("Hey! It's me! Kristina Wong!"), and then there were these really strange jeers from the audience-- I lost total track of all my cues and this stage persona I had worked all week to execute perfectly got totally lost in my shock and nervousness of it all.

This morning my tech Jen said to me, "You totally missed all of your cues."

Good thing she can read my mind and was able to just start throwing lights up and down.

I almost, pretty much did, collapsed after the show. I wanted to cry, I was so tired. It ran 2 hours. Yeah, no intermission. Oops. People said it didn't feel that long, but I felt it was that long. I guess I didn't factor in laughter. I didn't even think this show was that funny. The audience stood after, it was really amazing, but I felt like I didn't deserve it. Like the show was still not it's best. Leilani was scolding me for feeling that way. Maybe because during the show, in my head, I was having this conversation that went like this.

"God you are really sweaty Kristina, this is gross, they look bored, why is everyone coughing, are they listening, am I boring them, maybe I should have become a doctor, maybe this was a mistake, god I need to take a dump now, Helena looks great, why is ___ looking bored, man they won't be this rowdy in San Jose...."


But I love Berkeley. These people are freaking crazy.

Onward to some fuddling and fixing of the script. And two more shows in San Jose next week!

My bowel movements made the NY Times.... Check it out...





I am approaching the biggest night in my life tonight. I haven't drank alcohol in months, I'm single, I've been going sleepless and insane-- all because of this show.

I've been staying in Berkeley all week and it's definitely been stressful. I have cried like two or three times freaking out about something or other this week. And at least once an hour have contemplated applying to med school. Having Leilani (director) and Jen (tech) here has been good because they just start yelling, "We have no time for this! Stay focused!"

It also doesn't help that everywhere I look I feel like I am being marketed as a stand-up laugh-a-minute comedian. Yeah, no pressure there.

This show is funny, but like black comedy, or serio-comic. Or nervous uneasy laughter funny. But I pick up the SF Chronicle this morning to see, "Kristina Wong brings her comedy to La Pena." And a group that is promoting the show in San Jose called me something like a "comedic tour de force."

Isn't this show about suicide?

Last night the show clocked in at ONE HOUR and FORTY minutes. We stopped here and there, but I can't believe how freaking long the show was running! I can't believe I was up and standing for that long.

This show is so exhausting. I hope I can make it through the first 20 minutes. We tried to do a second run through yesterday and I almost collapsed.

On the bright side. The show is improving in leaps and bounds. My pre-show is amazing. And the arc of the show is becoming clearer and clearer.

The full report will come tomorrow. If I'm still alive.

I cried a little more today on the phone with a friend. And now I feel better. My mantra is "fuck it, let's just do this, and do this well." After my last blog post I thought surely someone would call me and pick me up off the floor and nurse me back to health. No phone calls. No emails. Instead I woke up in my living room with the halogen lamp flickering, mocking my loneliness.

But whatever, I'm Kristina Wong, I can do this. I've done it before.

Tickets for my Berkeley show are now available for purchase online... yay, one less thing I have to worry about and field questions for. Please buy a ticket online. This event might sell out. I have a lot of relatives. Who will probably disown me this time next week.

http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/9025

Last night I picked a friend up from the airport, and got on the 10 going the wrong way. I screamed, cursed, and then I started to cry. I could barely drive. I had to pull over and cry and let my friend drive.

Every night I have nightmares. Last night my nightmare was about getting pregnant and deciding to be a single mom, and then I realized I had a bunch of shows scheduled when the baby was due, and then I had to decide whether or not to abort the baby to go on with my career. It was horrible.

I'm looking forward to December 17th when these shows are done and over and I can just sit around my parents' house and knit and watch TV and do nothing.

I tried going for a massage yesterday afternoon at this Thai massage place up the block and of course was placed between these two men who in their "cubicles" were making the loudest nastiest groaning noises imaginable. One guy started talking on his cell phone really loudly. Then his phone rang right in the middle of the massage. And then all these Thai ladies came by and were talking and talking. I was so not relaxed by it at all.

I know everyone has my best interests in mind, but I feel like I really am going to snap when people offer suggestions that just amount to more work and more pressure that I can't deal with right now.

"You need to contact these people" or "Come hang out at my house when you are up there" or "Make sure you call these people at this paper."

I can't deal with it anymore. I really feel like I'm losing it. Why am I writing and performing a solo show? Why do I keep doing this? Why am I crying right now as I type?

And I cannot take reservations. I am sorry. Please call the box office for that.

And I can see it now. Next week, ten minutes before the show my phone will be ringing off the hook with people calling for directions or people calling to tell me they can't make it. Why do people do that?

If you will be that person next week, please don't. Don't be the straw.

What I need to do, is make this show better. That's all I want to focus on. I can't worry anymore about press releases, press packets, courting this or that group. I just need to make the show better. I just need to make this show the best. I need to preserve my heart for this show. Whether or not people come.

I leave for the Bay Area tomorrow. Right now I feel like a mess. I can barely muster the energy to pack. I took a nap to relax and woke up dripping in sweat. I didn't even recognize myself or my apartment.

I felt so alone and I just wished that I became a stock broker with my life.

Yay! Two packages of unfinished knitting arrived yesterday from Chicago and Austin. And I've already been contacted by the press (knitting press that is!) about doing interviews! To me that's bigger than the Calendar section!

I also want to take the time to tell everyone that I've discovered the sexiest man in America. And he's a hooker. Check it out below. Ian Johnson, make me a beanie!



I'm totally in love.



I also took a quiz and I think the results are accurate... see below.



Ok, back to work.