Thursday, April 12, 2007

Classing it up.

My beautiful and adoring mother emailed her concerns of my unhesitant usage of the word “dong” in my recent blogs. She wrote that using the word so publicly in cyberspace would reflect badly on our family (you know, whereas my writing for a porn mag would not).

I agree. The word “dong” is base, unrefined, unpoetic, and obvious. A UCLA English major like myself should know better than to pick such a sloppy word to describe man’s most complex section.

Therefore, I am vowing to no longer use the word “dong” in my blogs and am requesting that my readers help me pick out a more dignified synonym from the following list.

Man Tower
Dashund
Don Johnson
Jojo Dancer
Man Baton
Minute Hand
Thermometer de Flesh
Man Tower
Cock-a-Doodle-Doo
Leg #3
Pointer Finger
Bread and Meatballs
AK 47
Van de Kamps
Lonely Antenna
Night Stick
Peg Leg
Papa Smurf
Dodo Bird
Unagi
Mr. Potato Head

Please pick a synonym or make a suggestion. I implore you. For the future and the posterity of the Wong family name.

I’ll reveal and liberally use the winning synonym in an upcoming blog.

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7 Comments:

Blogger Adelheid said...

Wild Trouser Serpent

April 12, 2007 3:59 PM  
Anonymous Elizabeth said...

I'm always partial to "twigs & berries"
or "meat & veg"

...tho' they both speak of the whole, erm, package.

April 12, 2007 5:08 PM  
Blogger sdelrosario.chi@gmail.com said...

throbbing gristle stick

April 12, 2007 11:45 PM  
Blogger Colleen said...

I just prefer dong. It rhymes with Wong.

April 13, 2007 1:44 PM  
Anonymous Nicole said...

My kitchen help is Latino and they simply say, "Los Huevos"....(which is Spanish for eggs)

April 14, 2007 10:55 AM  
Blogger Dawn said...

Dongs are complex?

April 15, 2007 1:40 PM  
Blogger JohnD said...

What's wrong with "dong"? It's the name of the unit of currency of Vietnam.

May 08, 2007 9:17 PM  

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