After torturing myself for 7 and a half days with no food. I find myself drinking soup.

I'm eating broccoli, very limp soaked broccoli. And beans.

Oh god, it's so good.

Considering I quit the master cleanse on day 5 last time around, I'm doing pretty good. I haven't bitched and moan about hunger, and I'm actually about half way through! I don't crave food as much as I did last time around.

I did find myself looking at food blogs last night.



This is one of the main things I crave during the Master Cleanse. Chinese rock cod with tender greens.

Especially because Chinese New Year was yesterday and had I not been on this damn thing, I would be stuffing my face with this.

What's great about cleansing this time around is Hel, Elz and my friend Teri are all doing it too. And they are all first time at it.


I've been really unproductive otherwise. Time to get to work.

Labels: master cleanse, rock cod chow fun, stamina

I had to share. Nothing is getting done today either.

On the bright side, I did figure out from some online research that Oliver probably doesn't have a kidney problem. He has "territorial anxiety" as evidenced by where he is peeing.

Helena told me about this pet psychic lady who I'm seriously considering checking out because some of our friends swear by her. Apparently she can tell Oliver to stop peeing on my bed, or at least, ask him why he's doing it so much. And she does it over the phone. But it's not like I have to put the phone by Oliver's ear. She talks to me because me and Oliver are psychically connected.

Am I nuts for seriously considering this?

Wow, last night was so weird. My friend Anida called me because I seemed so depressed over the cat pee thing on IM and we agreed that I had the right to have a crappy day and do nothing. Considering how hard I work, it was ok to spend a day of moping around the house.

And I always have my disgusting yarn stash to keep me company. Diana took a small bag of yarn off my hands. We are going to trade for headshots. I got enough yarn to trade for headshots until I can play elderly. These pics below only feature like 1/4 of my problem.



there's a woman in stockton with carpal tunnel who liquidated all of this for pennies on the dollar to me. i couldn't say no.


the sad stash tucked behind the couch.


the stash in my office.

So I have decided that it doesn't matter that I'm still hot and in my 20s and am the cat pee yarn hoarding lady. So what if other people my age are dating other hot people and partying while I'm crocheting baby blankets and writing grants? Dammit! Having sex, or a relationship, or even friends is unnecessary when you have YARN!!! My life is awesome! And I'm happy being a big hermit with my crochet hook.

Nobody can hook a beanie with an I hook the way Kristina Wong can! I'm the best hooker, this side of my building! Long live the sexy crocheter!!!

Life is awesome. Being a single cat lady who owns a cat who pees on you is awesome! Yarn is awesome! and I AM AWESOME.

(I chant this as I wipe a tear from my eye).

Labels: cat lady, cat pee, crochet, empowerment, hot people, loser

Well, so since this morning it's all kind of sinking downhill and out of my control. I get my first golden shower ever, and it's from my cat. And then the day just dwindles into total unproductivity as I follow my cat around the apartment to make sure he won't have another accident. I'm so sick and tired of this cat. As I was lifting sheets off the bed I could smell some OLD pee smell from some other blankets. I feel like some wretched monster lady and I know I'm not.

This is the thing, my apartment is pretty tidy. It is! Ever since I started working with a housekeeper. When it was messy, he didn't have accidents like this. I feel like I'm falling apart today. It's so terrible. I was all empowered and motivated this year and today, it felt like everything fell apart. I'm trying so hard to cling to the details from "The Secret" but can't. Today, I give up. I'm exhausted.

It probably doesn't help that I went on the master cleanse today. And that my stomach is totally cramping and I'm getting light headed.

I'm looking at this cat and have no clue what to do with him.

I am turning on comments now for my blog because I feel like such a sad ass lonely cat lady and need to reach out to the world. If people leave mean comments though, I'm going to turn it off.

Please tell me I'm not alone here.

Man, something is just weird about today. Doesn't feel right. I want to go to bed and do it over tomorrow.

Thanks for listening.

Labels: bad day, cat lady, cat pee, golden shower, master cleanse, neediness., the secret

I woke up this morning to Oliver peeing ON me in bed. No joke.

I knew it was going to be a great Valentine's Day when this morning I woke up to go pee and saw that Oliver beat me to it as he peed on the futon in my office for the third time (fifth if you count how he took a dump there twice). I forfeited, and instead of trying to spray "Urine B. Gone" on it, decided to drag the stupid smelly futon to the dumpster.

Now my lovelies, I will enjoy sitting on the wooden frame in my office.

Yesterday, Diana came over and we started working on our fine art project. Basically, those really bloody Carrie stills she took will find a home in the gallery world. We are going to be releasing a limited number of enlargements and selling them to people who collect performance art stills. Our meeting somehow took a strange right turn as Diana noticed the huge boxes of yarn in the corner of the living room and screeched, "I wanna see what you have!" and she started to salivate through the hundreds of skeins of yarn tucked behind my couch. What made this so funny is that I was in my Pjs and Diana was wearing sweats and the sight of the two of us oogling and screaming at balls of yarn had to be the most charmingly pathetic thing ever.

Just now, I looked in the mirror and saw that my cheeks had broken out in zits. How did this happen? I feel like I'm in high school again. What happened to the beautiful lady who was on the cover of the Calendar section squatting against the side of her car? Where did she go?

I'm not quite sure what's happened to me in the last two months. But despite all this self-help-the-secret-excuse-me-your-life-is-waiting-life-empowerment-stuff, I've managed to totally lose it and let myself go in other life arenas.

I am a cat lady. A lonely little cat lady with a lot of yarn and a great big blooming art career.

And as I have dinner alone tonight, with my cat, my laptop, my yarn, and my amazing career, I will be visualizing and manifesting the life I want. Because I swear, it's almost already here. I can feel it.

So, I had a really challenging day. And I have to wonder if it is like they say in "The Secret" that my thoughts manifested the bad things that happened today. So what I'm going to do is for every thing bad that happened today, I am going to list something I am grateful for. Because somehow, it's gratitude that will allign us to what we want.

Bad Day:
I got locked out of apartment.

But what I'm grateful for:
I keep a hide-a-key by my car.

Bad Day:
When I got down there I noticed the doors of my car were unlocked and ajar.

But what I'm grateful for:
Is my car was still there.

Bad Day:
I looked into my car and my stereo was ripped out.

But what I'm grateful for:
I got a text message at that exact moment saying that I was going to be booked for this gig in Chicago.


Bad Day:
The thieves smashed my car window to unlock my car doors.

But what I'm grateful for:
They didn't smash the driver side window, so I would actually still be able to drive to lunch with my friends.

Bad Day:
I switched to Geico insurance and they don't cover smashed glass.

But what I'm grateful for:
My car window got smashed in four years ago and I already knew a cheap place to get it fixed. I was able to make a call and they will actually come to me tomorrow to fix it.


Bad Day:
My friend is a booking person who I thought would know someone who could help me with all this work. He told me he knew nobody. He also said that he worked with "well heeled" theaters and wasn't really familiar with the market I work in. I know he didn't mean to make me feel bad, but his comment made me feel like I only play crap venues or something since I play so much in colleges.

But what I'm grateful for:
I heard back from another "crap venue" school interested in me. I also heard out of nowhere from my old UCLA professor who I totally idolized in college and who wanted me to speak in his class for his GRAD STUDENTS! "Crap venues"? Nah, well heeled enough for me.

Bad Day:
No work really got done today because of the car crap.

But what I'm grateful for:
I got a lot of time to appreciate that I'm here.

I just got back from the post office (mailing off another application for yet another thing) and saw that someone bought me this book off of my wishlist. But there's no indication who bought it for me.

Thanks so much for the lesbian poetry book whoever you are. Please make yourself known so I can properly thank you.

And don't lie that you bought me a book when you didn't. I can tell who lies about buying me the gift of lesbian poetry.