I'm in Anthens, in a web cafe. I hope this posts ok, because all the text on the screen except what I am typing is in Greek.

After three days of travel, with a long layover Tuesday in Philly (where we got to meet up with friends Gayle and Omar) we finally made it to Greece. I'm not on fire, where we are at is not on fire. We are quite safe. They made it seem like the whole country was ablaze from the news in America.

It took me a long while to realize that I wasn't on some super Persian strip of West LA, and that YES, I am in Greece. The way the women and men dress is very Euro. And they are super skinny and pretty in that way I see Iranians in West LA dress. So I was confused the first day. It wasn't until we were at the Acropolis yesterday, looking at the Parthenon that I finally realized that we weren't in West LA.

The old people here are so darling, I just want to squeeze them to death.

It was only today when we went through the meat market did I really realize that we are "travelling while yellow." Because the guys who work in the market kept screaming out "Sayonara? You Japan? You Japan?" To which my mother said, "No we're from China!"

To which I bit back... "NOOOOO!!! We are from America!"

What is the best thing I can say about Greece? What is the best thing I can say about travelling anywhere? In any country they manage to sell you a lot of crap they have you convinced that "all the locals use" and you drag that crap home to all your friends for them to pawn off at their yard sale years down the road. Here the local crap du jour are magnets that look like bits and pieces that fell off of old Greek architecture, Olive Oil soap (that comes with free magnet), and sea sponges (the kind that I associate with sea sponge tampons). There is also a good heaping of t-shirts with the greek flag, more magnets, and these weird glass things that are supposed to be Greek God eyes. There is this licorish tasting booze called Ouya that my mom suggested we buy a small bottle of and drink in the hotel room. (gasp! boozing with mommy!). I'll probably bring a couple bottles of that stuff home. But for the most part, thanks to my Buy Nothing Year and the fact that most of this stuff can be bought at Cost Plus, I don't plan to bring back any crap. I only plan to bring back memories and what photos I can get. The first time I think I've ever done a trip without buying stuff.

My friend Mike gave me a book by Henry Miller on Greece that I plan to read while out here. How romantic of me.

So the cruise we are going on is of the small islands around Greece. And apparently they aren't very popular islands though I am sure it will be beautiful and hopefully less annoying and crowded than the popular islands. Though I do have a fear that it might be like if your friend was like, "Oh come visit me in San Francisco.... even though I actually live in Cupertino."

Labels: Greece, vacation?

So, I'm still in LA. I just finished all these shows this weekend and I can't believe I am going to Greece. And apparently it's all on fire!

It looks pretty bad from what I can tell online.

I hope for their sakes it gets better.

I'm not sure what the heck we are supposed to look at while we are there. But my mom says it's still on and that the fires are hours away from where we will visit. But it looks like there is fire in Athens. We did contemplate not going but it didn't look like we could cancel our trip at this point. Oy vey.

Anyway, I fly out tonight. And we are going about Greece by cruise ship. This seems like really bad timing. I'm not sure if there's anything to see. It seems like it's just devastation out there.

I'm not planning to bring my laptop (gasp!) so hopefully unplugging in a country on fire won't be a bad thing. Oh boy.

Labels: vacation?

No pictures for the moment. But I do have stories of things I did this weekend.

1. Projekt Newspeak Show
I was one of three women on this very very male, very hip hop, very spoken wordy bill. So of course I had to genderf*ck the whole show with my craziness. I turned it out and did my "Checklist" piece. My friend Omar came out and put on my fake puppet vagina and danced to Flashdance with me. I pulled a long train of fabric out of his vag and danced and danced in my unitard while all the hip hop guys backstage stared in awe of my madness. At the end, Omar threw a bucket of confetti at me and I screamed repeatedly to the roaring crowd, "THANK YOU LOS ANGELES!"

2. Fiber and Wool Festival in Santa Monica!

I wish I had a camera to show you all what a crack house this festival was for me! You know you are addicted to fiber when you are buying wool in August in Los Angeles. There were llamas on display. And I watched silkworms eat. I also saw a guy with an angora bunny on his lap yank the hair straight off the bunny and spin it to yarn! I bought some wool to spin on my drop spindle.

3. West LA Farmer's Market

The Sunday West LA Farmer's Market is so awesome. It just started up a few years ago and it fills me with so much community pride. I have again, no pictures. But it's a tiny farmer's market that I found myself at because I was hankering for tamales. When I got there, there were 15 kids playing wind instruments as part of the "itty bitty idol contest"-- It was the cutest thing ever. They even had judges from the community giving them feedback. So cute. I felt so proud to be part of West LA.



Right now, I'm getting ready for my Outflow show this weekend. And trying to throw a ton of crap out of the house. I can't believe I've lived in the same place for six years. And I have a lot of crap to show for it. What was good about cleaning up was I found the source of the cat pee smell in my office. It's recent cat pee. I'm not that gross. But tracking down that smell was what prompted me to clean. Sad, that I had to unearth like 10 months of laziness to find it.

Yay! Cat lady!

Anyway... I'm going to Greece next week on a cruise with my mom! It's been so crazy trying to sort through the loads of work, that I haven't even processed that I am getting out of this joint for ten days. I haven't prepared at all.




I'm also crocheting the above bikini from "Sexy Little Knits" in Navy blue. It's going pretty fast, I almost finished the back of the butt part last night. It's my first project that isn't a hat, scarf, blanket or something to keep me warm! It's exciting! Finally something sexy that I can wear! I think I'll finish it by the time I land in Greece or a few days into my visit. I'm not sure if I'll actually wear it in public though. I definitely don't think I'll be wearing it on my blog! I may just run around the apartment with my blinds drawn and jump around (I'm so shy.). Apparently I can swim with it on! My mother will probably throw a trench coat over me if I run around the cruise ship wearing this!

It's always weird for me to not update for a while because it feels like the last entry marks me!

Updates...

The existential crisis...

I'm happy to say that while I don't have an answer to my existential crisis, it is very much passing. I am not looking for a psychic or fortune teller anymore, but feel a lot more settled in the unknown.

The Spoon Situation



Aw, so in my last entry, I wrote about how I befriended a reality TV star and we started instant messaging and I declared him my future husband. For those of you don't get my sense of humor, it's just a pretend relationship. And while Spoon's a total cutie pie, I prefer being the cat lady. My pops already admonished me, "Be careful of people who you talk to on the internet! Remember! He could be a guy from 'To Catch a Predator'!"

I've made it very clear to my internet reality tv pretend boyfriend, Spoon, from "The Pick-Up Artist," that I am a career woman and while the idea of leeching off his 15 minutes of fame is tempting, it is not enough to lure the Wong. He did say something very sweet like, "I'm not into Asian women." To which I challenged him with, "WTF?! Who are you?! How can you diss on your sisters?"

And then he said he said that he likes white women because they are "vintage" and "like to get dirty." To which I responded, "I'm filthy!!!"

And then he said the sweetest thing: "If every Asian woman was like you Kristina Wong, I'd be in heaven."

Awww... still no excuse for hating on the sisters. But aww......


Wong shirts for sale!



(Yeah yeah, posing on a car to sling shirts. I'm not above it.)

I've had these for a while, but finally am getting the chance to hawk these publicly.

My friend Ryan is helping me with a brainchild I've had forever... Wong shirts!
The Store is here.


I went to the Simpsons' Movie dressed like Marge and sat in the theater like this the whole time....


It was a little anti-climactic because it wasn't opening weekend....

Other stuff...

I'm just trying to redesign my site and get work done, but the heat has not been on my side.

I'm in these shows the next two weeks...

This weekend...


And the following weekend...

So I don't even have cable, but now, I'm going to ask Vince to Tivo this show for me...


It's Vh1's "The Pick Up Artist"-- a show where this guy named "Mystery" who looks like a cheezey Goth wearing clearance rack stuff from Hot Topic shows eight "lovable losers" how to get their mack on.

Anyway, the only reason why I'm going to watch is because there are two totally adorable Asian boys on it who are so helpless around women. Aw. So cute.

Aw, Asian boys with no game. So cute. They are so cute too. They look like guys I'd have crushes on.

One of the guys is named "Spoon"-- so cute! He's Chinese. He's like my mom's dream come true.



Anyway, you know what? I'm IM'ing with Spoon now. He put his IM handle on his myspace page. And I added it to my Buddy list to see if he'd really show up and there he is! And we are actually writing each other. It's unreal. It's like I'm stepping into a new dimension. I can't believe how accessible people are now.


Here's part of our silly chat.


KRISTINA: hi spoon!
i'm kristina!

SPOON: hello

KRISTINA: oh my god!

SPOON: i'm spoon

KRISTINA: you're so cute
i just asked you to be my myspace friend

SPOON: well thx

KRISTINA: i don't have cable but now i want to get it


And more of our chat....


KRISTINA: So why is the world's biggest Mack a cheesey goth?

SPOON: nah

KRISTINA: i hold it up for you asian brother

SPOON: see i think that's what vh1 wants people to think
he's not cheesey


and even more...

SPOON: i look different now
i lost a bit of weight

KRISTINA: and your name is spoon!
adorable!

SPOON: been going to the gym 6 days a week
for a month now

KRISTINA: aw cute
you're my mom's dream come true
do you want to come to san francisco and meet my family?
they'll go nuts for you!

SPOON: lol sure



YAY! I found my Mom a husband! Woo woo! And his name is Spoon and he's Chinese and he came from Television!

YES!


It's a good day in America!

Labels: sex is unnecessary when you have yarn., Spoon, the pick up artist, Vh1

So I haven't found a wizard. I got a few shot in the dark leads to a Chinese Fortune Teller a la "I know my girlfriend might have an auntie who knows someone in Walnut."

But I have found ways towards navigating the future. Though it's all still confusing.

I found myself last Sunday taking matters in my own hands and doing something I never thought I'd do.

Guesses?

Drumroll........

(Ba dum Ba dum Ba dum!)

(Bam pow!)



I went to church on Sunday. By myself. On my own. Without being forced.


Even on the phone with people on the way there I said increduously, "Wow! I'm going to church? Whoa."

I couldn't believe I went to church. The original plan was to go to a Buddhist Temple in West LA to hollaback to my Buddhist/Taoist roots, but instead I found myself at church. I only go to church when someone is getting married. And I was quite surprised that when I walked in (in a strapless dress no less) that the place didn't burst into flames, people did not point at me screaming, "Witch! Heretic!" and I was actually quite welcome and happy to be there.

The "church" I went to is Agape, which is not so much a Christian Church as it is an "International Spiritual Center." The Founder and Spiritual Director is Michael Beckwith from "The Secret". And also Lisa Nichols from that movie also goes and speaks and teaches there. Since that movie came out, the attendance at Agape has exploded.

So it's not so much a "Jesus died for your sins! Now feel guilty and don't have sex before marriage! Straight marriage that is!" kind of church, as much as it is the "Church of the Secret." No pews. No bibles. No bible quoting. All sorts of religious/ spiritual iconography on the walls, and all sorts of people (gay/straight, multi-cultural, multi-demoninational, and multi-generational) in attendance. More spiritual songs and a motivational speech kind of sermon about letting go of fear. There are slight Christian undertones (a few amens, hallelujahs and some ambiguous references to "god," some equivalents to "Peace be with you"), but for the most part if felt like it was centered on the individual and our capacity to live life to its fullest.

I think it's the only "church" where people scream from the pulpit, "Lisa Nichols from The Secret is in the house!"

I was coaxed into coming to a "young hip "Christian church once by a high school friend. It was so boring. You can dress up the joint with cute Ikea couches and add a DJ to the sermon and a fancy Christian rock band, but it don't fool me.

Agape has got quite the operation. It's a spiritual supercenter. They have over 3000 people come to the one I was at and have three services on Sunday. Often they can't fit the latecomers in and so they have tents outside where they watch the service on a TV.

To quote Colleen, "That sounds so LA!"

And it is. It totally is.

It was perhaps the best experience I've had with spirituality and faith my whole life. Though there aren't too many positive experiences it had to compete with. It's really where I think religion should update itself to be. It felt contemporary and relevant to be at Agape. For the first time religion (perhaps I should say "spirituality") wasn't scary, did not breed guilt, and did not bore me. I found myself singing and standing without trying. I didn't get yet to the point where I was raising my hands up to the Lord or anything. But I was totally crying by the end of the sermon which was all about letting go of fear and your regrets about your history and life circumstances and blooming where you are planted.

It was amazing and I want to go back. And next time I'll try to put more than 65 cents in the collection plate.

I feel so nutty as I ask my friends, "Would you like to come to church with me? I go to this new church and it's so much fun and so awesome."

Pretty soon, you'll see me walking down your block in a nice Sunday dress trying to pawn off issues of "Awake!" on your neighbors.


***

But anyway. That's what's up with me now. I'm currently trying to tear my way through this grant due tomorrow and I am totally stuck. In about half an hour I'm going to be on the radio in Toronto. I think I'm going to sneak in a request that any available Canadian marry me so I can get health insurance. Yes, health insurance is one thing Agape spirituality will not help me figure out as I just spent $250 (this week) on medicine because my crappy pants health insurance wouldn't cover it. Ridiculous.

***




In other news, I went to a grunion run on Monday night. I saw a lot of them going at it! I wore my gollashes and got laughed at by drunk people. But I don't like feeling fish f*cking under my feet.


***



And here's a scarf I finished and sent to my friend Jami last week. I hope she received it ok. I didn't put insurance or confirmation on the package. I'm sure she'll have plenty of use for it for an East Coast summer.

Labels: church, grunion run, oh my god