So I guess I can reveal my first great "WHOA, my life is changing for the bigger" that I had alluded to in my last post.

I have been selected to be part of the CBS Diversity Showcase in January! I will perform for a huge audience of industry folks with a small cast of other actors! It is a mega opportunity for me to be seen by casting directors and such. It could be the start of my life transition from the art stage to the big screen.

Randomly, my friend Amy who did the showcase last year, ran into me and asked if I was interested in it. She referred me to the casting people and I went in today for my audition! And they took me right there! I've never experienced anything like it.

So this changes a lot for me now. The next few months until January will be intense. I will be spending a lot of time writing sketches with the other actors and we will be hammering a top notch and tight sketch show together. I'm still going to do my tour dates between, but I won't get to spend as much time as I had originally planned to spend in San Francisco.

It's all so exciting. And it marks one big transition I wanted to make in my career that will hopefully allow me to not have to travel so much to make my living.

I'm very shy about telling people, but here's my secret. I do hope eventually to work more in TV and Film because traveling alone and doing these solo theater shows about intense as hell issues can be very lonely and hard on my body. (Not that Hollywood is particularly healthy either! But the money and staying in one place is so appealing.)

And of course, I'm sure you all want to know what I did for my audition? Well, I had thought that maybe I should write some kind of quirky character monologue, but after going into the CBS casting office earlier this week to get a pep talk about what to prepare, I realized that it was very very important for me to be funny and outrageous because the casting folks have SEEN IT ALL.



So what did I do? I whipped out the fake strap-on puppet vagina above, put it on in the CBS bathroom under my skirt, waddled into the room and did this crazy monologue where I ranted about how the industry expects us to "pull Asian stuff out of our asses." Then I said, "You know where it really comes from?" Then I squatted down and started...

You can guess the rest.

They went nuts for it. I had the casting director on the floor crying. They were saying after, "It's so great, you take risks! You're over the top! It's much easier to pull people down from being too over the top than push them to be more over the top."

I was so scared to do this for an audition. Especially because everyone I told that I was going to do this said, "That sounds like a bad idea to do at CBS." And in the car ride over I was so panicked that I was being an idiot.

But really, I'm a born performance artist. So this is what I knew how to do the best. It wasn't going to be natural for me to do an actor-ly monoglogue. And it certainly wouldn't make an impression after all the monologues they had seen.

So yes, I guess it does go to show, that being my big crazy self and listening to my heart/vag was the best thing I could have done. Showing those CBS execs my meat curtains was the smartest career move ever.

So what is the moral of the story kids?


All hail my big vag!

Labels: hollywood wong, losing my mind in los angeles

So... another week and I find my life entering a big whole lotta "WHOA!"-ness.

I'm inarticulate, but basically, in a nutshell, there's a lot going on right now. A whole lot of stuff that could be very potentially good. Potentially amazing for the rest of my life. Here, I thought I had it going on. And if things really take off, things will REALLY be going on. And without getting too specific about what it all is that I'm talking about so I don't jinx myself, it's making me wonder if I've been playing in the little leagues the whole time.

Like all these things I've been doing during my 20s, was I just sitting at the table with the kids? Was there an adult table that had a seat waiting for me, but I was too scared to introduce myself?

That's what I feel like now. Like I've been wasting my time playing with the kids. Trying to guard my little patch of grass when there was a whole mountain behind me.

I frequently dream about my apartment and in my dream there's a new room in the apartment. Or a balcony I didn't realize was there. I think this is a metaphor for living in LA. You think you know it, then one day, you realize there was a third bedroom the whole time.

For example, I was at Target in West Hollywood tonight buying a microwave cart for my show tomorrow (that I will put the overhead projector on) and return it in a few days. And I'm looking at all these people who live in this city with me. And I'm tripping out, as I often do when I am a consumer (like at the mall) because I can't believe there are all these people who I share the city with and yet will never get to know. We're buying the same things for our homes, and yet, these people have their own lives and families and patterns and obsessions. And sharing the aisles at Target is as close as I will ever get to them.

Who are these people? Should I get to know them?

And the Target was such a trip. I called ahead of time to make sure they had the $34.99 cart that I wanted to get and some guy out of a Southern Baptist Church voice told me there were six carts left. And I get there, that guy is not to be found and nor is my microwave cart. But there is this young tattooed Asian guy named Allan who tries to find it for me, but can't. And he's unknowingly addicted to pointing his scanner at different things and making the machine bleep.

I already give up on my $34.99 cart. I decide to perhaps buy a 45 gallon wheeled tote to store the yarn set for the show. And there are no lids! Allan explains that when the lids break, they just throw them out.

I'm like, "How the hell you going to sell tubs with no lids?"

Allan just laughs at how stupid it is. And how agitated I am trying to put tiny lids on the big tub. I give up and decide against buying a rubber tub for my yarn.

Then I go to pay for a $60 microwave cart-- which is fine that it's not the one I want because I'm returning it anyway. And I'm looking at all these people buying things and thinking, "Who are these people shopping at the West Hollywood Target at this time of night?" Because at night, I'm usually at home where I assume everyone else should be. Because for some reason, I cannot fathom actually buying things that are not related to a show of some sort. Because this is my world. My world is a show

And I'm in line and this cashier coaxes me out of line to let me have her ring me up. And it turns out the machine doesn't give receipts. And this cashier, she's a dwarf, or at least has stunted growth, a lip piercing, and two black eyes-- unless that's her make up.

I'm asking her to give me a receipt so I can return this cart. But at the same time I am looking at the purple rings around her eyes wondering if it's really a bruise or goth makeup. And I'm wondering what happened to her that she thought that was fashionable or how she can stand to talk to people so normally about Target's return policy when her eyes are all blacked out and people like me are hoping that she isn't being hurt against her will when she goes home.

I decided to drive home, but then decided to find a Starbucks to do this blogging now. I decided, rather than drive on a block that I knew I could find a Starbucks, to turn onto a new block I never drive down and find one, as I was sure I would.

And here I am, half a block into my turn. It appeared predictably. The Starbucks I had imagined would be there, yet had never been before.

There's a whole world going on in LA.

Labels: losing my mind in los angeles

Wow, does time fly fast. It's so busy that I am in bed with all my clean laundry, the cat, and my laptop all here trying to make it happen. As always. I'm exhausted and now another week closes and I have a show again on Tuesday! I can't complain about work though. I pretty much passed out today at home after I went to a morning meeting.

The show in Berkeley went super well. So my plans to outsource to India didn't really work out the way I wanted it to. This service I signed up for seems to think that really simple internet research is "out of the realm" of what they are able to do. Yet this same service is able to do such things as search Craigslist for your next boyfriend or help you book a flight.

So I cancelled. Marjorie has been helping me. It's been great but still not enough help. There's so much to do.

Anyway, earlier this week, my friend Bobby had me over at his garage studio to do an interview. I haven't even watched it. I'm afraid of what I said. You tell me, I'll just close my eyes.

The link here.

http://fresh-off.blogspot.com/2007/10/kristina-wong.html

or watch it here...

PART I:


PART II:


As I left, Phil of Angryasianman.com came in for his interview. This tiny world we live in. I said to him, "Do you really want people to know what you look like? They're going to come after you."

Too late for me. I'm a goner.

Labels: press

I'm in Berkeley where the show opens tonight. I'm a little nervous. But I also know that I know this show pretty well now. So well, that it's becoming a different monster sometimes. I didn't personally do a lot of marketing outreach. I hired some help for that and am relying largely on word of mouth. I sent a lot of postcards out and most of those are in two big stacks at the theater still. I am getting to the point in my career that I can't be flyering all over town and doing the show all by myself and I have to just let it be.

My show has transformed so much and I wish in ways that my pants weren't so down when I premiered here last December. I think the audience still enjoyed it and all my crowds were very generous with their applause. But it could have been a lot better. I really look at this run as a chance to redeem myself.

And this time, no Q&A! I have boundaries baby!

I flew Nurit up here to help look at the show. Since I've been on break all summer, I look at this weekend as my "homecoming" for the shows to come in the Fall and Spring. I was telling her about how I wish it had come along this far sooner.

She said, "Hey, the show took the journey it took. That's that."

Which makes me realize how important it is for artists to have the space to develop their work. Readings, informal showings, etc. Unfortunately, a lot of emerging artists don't get as many shots as I have to get the show down right.

Labels: artist life.

Coinkydink. After my last post about being able to hire assistance with a new grant, I read this awesome article in the LA Times about hiring a personal assistant.

There's this part about "virtual assistants" (basically who work from India) and you pay $29/month for about the equivalent of 15 hours of work (or 30 tasks that take only half an hour for a max of 30 tasks) that they do by computer or phone. I've been awake all night thinking about how I can use one.

I think I'm going to try it!

Yes! Outsourcer! Evil Corporation! I am them all!

Ok, I have to pack for Berkeely.

Labels: outsourcing american jobs