It keeps happening lately, especially now, in this economy, when I return to Los Angeles for a long stretch of time. But especially lately, now that Wong Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is done and there are new shows to be made.

I am left atop an empty pocket of air. Wondering, what am I to do with this time on earth.

Yes, the meaning of life question.

I don't know what there is in this city anymore. I've been here a long long time. And I accomplished what a huge life goal was... to make a good living as an artist... doing art that would allow me to travel and was work that I could feel was meaningful and mine.

This question was partially sparked by my friend who just came by and said, "I have no family here, no partner, just a job, shouldn't I just move home and be with my family?"

And I was like: "Should I be doing the same thing?" Because actually... I'm in the same boat. If anything, I don't have a job here... technically. As with everyone in LA, I'm a freelancer, and right now, everyone is more "free" than "lancing."

We are all floating in this space of "is the sky falling?" and what will happen next in this great big blur called the recession?

I'm thinking of doing something drastic. Like living off the grid like this guy I met in Alaska is. Or teaching English abroad. Or working on organic farms in Europe.

What to do?

Labels: losing my mind in los angeles, saturn's return