Yes.

One is that I have been so busy. And it's all busyness that has to do with art art art or at least things that matter to me. I have really embraced this full-time artist thing. Rather than freak out that it will go away or that it's a hoax, or that I don't deserve it or that a non-commercial art career can't be possible, I have put all my faith into this lifestyle I live. I treat it as completely normal and totally here. And for the first time I feel like it's more stable than anything I can remember since I finished college. I love it. Now all those artist people I grew up admiring for their seemingly jet-set lives rich in artistic creation and adventure feel like me. Except, it's not so jet-set. It's actually a lot of work. And a lot of time at home at my computer.

But I love it anyway.

This Creative Capital Grant has been so amazing and I haven't even signed my contract yet. I find myself writing grant applications with this newfound confidence. I just put in a grant that will hopefully allow me to premiere "Wong Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" in Berkeley and Philly. I feel so good about it. I think we got a great shot. And I have a whole laundry list of other grants I am so excited about knocking out including some international residencies that will give me a chance to work on some art and see the world.

Sometimes people say things to me that make me feel like I don't deserve this success. Things like "You should get a part time job, just in case" or "nothing is guaranteed Kristina, so don't get too excited." Things that imply that I need to be skeptical or fearful. That no artist should be allowed to do what makes them happy and that it's impossible to do what you love for a living, especially when the world is such a mess and when everyone is so miserable. That's bullshit. I really want to find ways in my art for people who feel disempowered to feel like they can be agents of positive change. This is why I was drawn to creating community based art in the first place, was that it gave people a transformative experience.

I really feel its unfortunate that so many artistic people set themselves up to fail because they believe their dreams are impossible.

Life is hard. That's just the way it is, whether you become an artist or an engineer. You take risks every day. It's putting fear and self-doubt in front of you before you leave your house that will sabotage you before anything else.

*Kristina's lame commercial sounding plug time.*

I want to put in my plug for folks who want to check out this crazy audio book I listened to that changed my life. It's kinda like Tony Robbins except makes more scientific sense. My friend Suzanne who is a TV host and actor who works a hell of a lot turned me onto Lynn Grabhorn's "Excuse Me Your Life is Waiting." I really didn't know what to make of it when I heard it the first time. It is admittedly a little goofy sounding, but it does make a lot of sense. I had to stew in her words for a while and translate what she was saying in ways that I could understand. Before I knew it, success was banging away at my door. It was great! I swear by it now.

Also, I am very grateful for my friend Pete Lee. Pete's a performance artist and writer who quit his job at the Times last year to become a life coach. I know, I know. Life Coaching sounds like a really goofy ass new age profession. And in ways it is depending on who you talk to. I haven't been Life Coached at length with Pete but just our conversations about what he's learning has changed my life and the way I think about myself and my career. Life Coaching is so much more pro-active than therapy which kind of recycles you in your misery (or at least that's been my experience). Pete does free sessions by phone with people so I encourage you to check him out.

I feel kind of goofy for pushing self-help stuff on people, but I really felt these things helped me so much. Don't hate.

Kristina in Irvine!

I was in Irvine two weeks ago doing a guest lecture at a pop culture class. I did a radio interview after for Dan Tsang's "Subversity Radio"

I may regret what I said on the Subversity Radio UCI radio program about my upbringing and my sentiments towards Asian penis. But rather than hide, I will embrace what I said and share my shreiky voice to the public. Here is the radio interview. Let me know what you think. I can't stand to hear it! I always thought my voice was silky and sexy, but it really sounds like a cartoonish old lady.

I also made the front page of the school paper. See below!

Another Valentine's and No Ring

Not that I wanted to get proposed to or anything. But my partner took the day off on Valentine's to take me to the il mysterioso Japanese Gardens that are owned by UCLA. They are in Bel Air. He didn't tell me where we were going and when he dropped me off at Lot 3 on Campus, I was pissed. And I was even more frustrated when we had to cross Sunset Boulevard to Bel Air and almost get run over by rich white people in their cars (They don't have sidewalks in Bel-Air because they don't expect people to walk through their neighborhood.).

I was so stunned to see these gardens after living in LA for nine years and never knowing they were there. It was so beautiful. It's only open for 15 hours a week and you need reservation if you want to park there. If you walk there you can stay all day. I think they keep this garden for rich patrons to wine and dine them so they can give UCLA more money to build more fancy buildings.

Somewhere in my deluded head I thought he was going to propose to me. It was just so beautiful and he kept looking into his backpack (presumably for a ring?) and plus the sun was shining all over my forehead and I was getting sun stroke. I thought in my dehydration that he was going to get on one knee and fulfill my sad socially constructed heterosexual fantasy. Even when we were back at Lot 3 to get the car and go home I thought he'd turn around and whip out the ring.

But alas, my sad socially constructed heterosexual fantasy on the state sanctioned day for love and romance went unrequited. And now, I am back in reality. We are too young to marry.

Playgirl Update

It's still on it's way to happening. So just chill. An update to follow shortly.

Dick Cheney

I know it's such a sick thing to imagine, but why couldn't hunting guns, at least his, be made with boomerang bullets?

The Ipod Shuffle is More Durable Than a Cockroach

My BF pretty much took my ipod shuffle from me that I got for free for signing up for a credit card. It's ok, because he goes running and stuff and needs it. He put it in the washing machine and dryer by accident. But it still works. Including the headphones! The music is still on it! It's such a miracle. It must have Kristina Wong genes in it.

STINK

We have moths in the apartment so for the first time ever I am using moth cake in the closets and now everything smells faintly like old lady and cat pee.

By request of my friend Helena

My friends from playgirl gave me this giant buttplug that I did a "funny caption" for in their humor issue. And now this huge thing of rubber is all mine. I took pics of Oliver with it so that PETA could come after my ass (hey there is a pun in there!). Helena asked that I post it. She's so sick.

Kristina