3.2.04--The week and a half in review.
Wow. You know you haven't been updating your site when your neighbor emails you: "Having fun in Hawaii? I'm looking forward to hearing how your shoot went. I keep on checking out your website to see if you've written about it."
Didn't know my life could provide so much stimulation.
I love how hectic and busy it's been. I love it a lot more than being bored off my ass, broke as hell, and hunting and gathering. It kind of happened all at once too. Kind of like last year. A blitz of work and then kapoot! Over.
For your convenience this update has been divided into chapters.
PICK A CHAPTER
Middle America Won't Buy a Hot Dog from an Asian Girl with Pink Hair
ECAASU 2004-- the best freaking experience this year!
Bao Phi is what every Asian Brother should be
Middle America Won't Buy a Hot Dog from an Asian Girl with Pink Hair
Who would you rather buy a hot dog from?
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This Girl? |
Or this girl? |
So I shot my first commercial a week and a half ago. And of course, after the fitting two days before the shoot, I get a call that my hair needs to return to its "natural color". After a little bit of bitching and moaning to myself about how I had JUST got my hair redone at the salon, I sucked it up and bought some 6-12 wash semi permanant dye and screamed in horror as I said goodbye to my luscious pink locks as they were smothered by dallop after dallop of black dye. My filmmaker friend Daisy Lin Shapiro documented my transformation.
Most of the pink is back now, so I am happy again, but not sure what to do now. Go back to black permanently and risk returning to the world of the anonymous happy Asian woman (to score more auditions but also fight more fish in the sea of commercial actors), or continue to defy Middle America with my sass and individuality (and score those really hot acting jobs that come up every so often, which I have a better shot at anyway). What do you think? Who should I be next?
(Mom, please stay out of this, I already know what you think.)
When I got to the set, the first thing the makeup lady said to me was, "What are you using on your skin?"
She was referring to my acne.
I guess I had a few eruptions under my skin that I didn't know I had until under those bright ass makeup room lights. I told her I was taking antibiotics and she gave a grunt that implied, "Well, they ain't working, you need a blowtorch girl."
As my lip quivered in humiliation, I tried to maintain my happiest "I can sell a hot dog, even though this woman has implied that my face looks like a pizza" smile. I tried to laugh, but inside I was crying.
Then the makeup lady did the make-up of this really cute 5-year-old girl who barrelled through the door.
The makeup lady was fawning all over the girl. "Aren't you pretty!" she praised. In a real passive aggressive way I murmured, "You must be pretty because she didn't say that to me." I couldn't help but stare at this sweet little girl's face and want to peel her creamy skin off and lay it over mine.
Then I continued to look at my skin under those hot lights and think, "I'm ugly. I'm ugly. I'm ugly."
But I had three hours of hanging out on the set to get it back together and climb my self esteem back to the top. After all, remember? I am a champ, and I won't let a makeup lady or anybody else make me feel bad about myself. (That and I ate so much food at craft services, I became more concerned about trying to stand upright than feel good about how I looked.)
So basically, it was all improvised. I sang the weiner song in different ways. It was weird because I am not used to singing and people not racing towards me, ripping off their clothes, and asking me to marry them mid-song. (See my Karaoke section.) Everyone there were crew people who had to listen to actors sing the same song for three days, and they were checking for technical stuff. It was like being in a 300 degree karaoke room full of dead people.
Everyone was cool after, as I left the set they applauded. So that was nice.
But hopefully they liked it and you'll see me on tv soon.
Because of the commercial, what would have been a 9-day trip to Hawaii was cut down to less than 48 hours. I pretty much flew into Hawaii hours before my friends Ova and Leilani got married and was put to work. All their friends who had been there a few days before seemed to have been made into wedding slaves-- cooking, prepping, setting. They were like, "Kristina, you are lucky you got here just now." Ova's family cooked this mad Lao food FEAST. So much food, prepared by one family.
I spent the time documenting it all. By video.
It was a beautiful ceremony. They chanted to each other on the beach. It was surreal. I don't think I will ever experience anything like that again.
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Clockwise from top: Me laying out at the shore steps away from the beachhouse, me and Dwayne Perkins at the reception, me holding up a wedding gift for Lei and Ova |
It was a lot of work. It made me want to get married and never get married all at once. It was a beautiful day. But damn! Was it worth all that work? And money? For the couple it was. But I got tired watching it and just thinking of how much work it will be if I ever get married.
At the reception I got everyone to chant "Rubbish! Rubbish! Rubbish!" to get the couple to kiss rather than use the ritual of tapping a champagne glass. This is because their first kiss was near the dumpsters at our old office.
But look at the pics with me and the keikis. The kids at the wedding were so cute, you know I whipped my camera out to photograph them faster than you can say "maternal instinct."
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SO
FREAKING CUTE!
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The next day we hung out at Waikiki. Like the dumbass I am, I packed like 20 pairs of underpants for the trip, three pairs of socks, no sunscreen, and the only clothes I had brought was the dress on my back. So I bought a muumuu to look all dumb and silly.
Waikiki has got to be the most depressing place I've ever been. I feel bad for people who honeymoon there. It's so crowded, industrialized, dirty, and unattractive-- at least compared to the North Shore where we were for the wedding. I can't imagine that people can feel fulfilled vacationing there.
Want to go back. But not hang out where the tourists are. It's interesting because I walked with my friend Chay around Waikiki saying, "So where do we find something that isn't as touristy?"
Chay said, "All of Hawaii is touristy."
So sad, this is what happens when cultures are forced to rely on tourism for their economy.
ECAASU 2004-- the best freaking experience this year!
So I think I was a lucky bug because I was a featured performer at this year's ECAASU conference. This conference had to be one of the most inspiring, organized, well attended, and energizing Asian American events I have ever experienced. All these kids from all over the country, mostly the East Coast were there.
It took 25 hours to get to Virginia because of the snow in North Carolina. We felt like we were on Survivor, trying to survive on airport food for 13 hours until a plane took off. But we finally got in at like 5AM. We had to fly into a different airport, 2 hours from the campus and Vicky and Melissa, two students organizing ECAASU had to come get us. I started rehearsing at the airport becasue we were waiting so long and our bodies were totally atrophying. Here is a pic of me rehearsing.
The keynote speaker was Esera Tuaolo. He was one of the first NFL players to come out. He sang and had everyone in tears about how he was so happy and fulfilled because he could finally "live in truth." He pretty much had us by the balls and then he sang "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera which pretty much broke down anyone else in the room who wasn't crying already.
Here is a pic of me and him. Before we took the pic, Esera said to me, "Marry me, Kristina."
Ok, so he didn't ask me to marry him.
I went to the bathroom to pee and calm down from crying from Esera's speech and when I got back to the ballroom, Shyamala, my friend and techie was setting my props for my show onstage!
I had no idea I was on next! I freaked out, threw the mic on, and scrambled onstage to begin my show. It was weird. I have definitely never played to 600-700 kids before. And definitely not that panicked. It wasn't a theater so there was a slight echo. And places where I am used to getting laughter or nothing at all I got "oooh". I thought for sure they hated me. At one point in the show I was saying to myself, "Just finish the damn show Kristina."
At the end, everyone was standing. It was pretty amazing. And then kids lined up to talk to me and take pics with me. Including my cousin Matthew who goes to med school at UVA. It's weird-- he's always 12 years old in my mind. So I was shocked when he was like, "I go to med school here." I never grew up with him. He didn't get the tall genes.
I felt so cool. It turns out the "ooohs" I got were shorthand "ooooh! Aw naw she didn't! Cool!". So I spent the rest of the weekend hanging out with different students. Shyamala and I taught two performance workshops. It was so rewarding to get to perform and then hang out with the kids after. Some had some really great feedback for me. It was cool being the mini celebrity at the hotel continental breakfast. And to hear things like, "She's cool" as I walked around. It was also cool to just get to know what everyone was up to and why they were there. There was one girl who saw my show but didn't know it was me who performed when we were talking, and she started to quote my show and say, "Remember that from the show last night?"
And then all during the conference people took pics with me. Whee! Here are some below from the conference.
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Clockwise from top: Me with ECAASU students at the banquet, me and Shyamala with some of our workshop participants, me with Shy and Vicky who didn't sleep all week planning the conference! |
And I took a picture with famous defense attorney Angela Oh. She saw me earlier at the closing banquet waving my napkin around in a circle and screaming with the girls from Wellesley College and said, "You are a woman of my own heart."
There is this really weird and nerdy and fascinating thing that happens at ECAASU called "bidding". Basically the conference rotates from different campuses year to year. And it's quite a coveted thing for students to want to host the conference at their campus. Which makes no sense to me, because that's a lot of work. But I guess it's like the equivalent of Pilipino Culture Night shows at colleges-- kids really want to plan and host this conference. So different campuses spend an entire year putting together a pitch package for their vision for the next year's ECAASU conference. They have to plan everything from the conference theme, to the proposed artists, to keynote speakers, to the themes they want to tackle, to selling their campus as an ideal spot for visiting students-- and they have to construct a budget. Then they get a very officiated 8 minutes to pitch their school to everyone. It's like the presidential debate or something! They even put together a power point presentation to run during their presentation. It's so official. And way too nerdy for the average college student to want to do. At least, I couldn't do it.
Being part of this conference is a very coveted spot. Watching the "bid" process made me realize what a weird lucky thing it was that I slipped through their cracks and was able to perform for so many students. I kept whispering to Shyamala during the "bidding" pitches, "How did we even get here? We are really really lucky."
Here is a pic of me with puffy eyes doing a "prom photo" with one of the students who I think looks like my friend Freddie.
Bao Phi is what every Asian Brother should be
So of course Kristina can't have a perfect weekend without screwing it up just a little. The last night of the conference, while all the students were at their closing dance, I thought I would join the other grown-ups for drinks at the Marriot. There was a nice little set up there around a big screen tv. It's like a living room.
I felt like a live wire. I was screaming, balancing mints on my head, and teasing my friend Daren about smoking. Everyone was watching the Iron Chef Sakai face off against this French chef.
If you ever want to have fun watching Iron Chef, try watching it with a grip of Asian American activists.
It was hilarious because everyone was screamingly angry and vocal everytime the French judges were rude to Sakai, and when the French chef won, my friend and poet Bao Phi was pointing at the scores screaming, "Pssh! That's so whack!"
Asian pride at its finest.
Anyway, so like a dummy, I decide that for some reason I can handle drinking two long island ice teas and a godiva martini. Even though I haven't drank like that in many months. And I decided to make conversation with the (white) bartender and two frat boys at the bar. Not because I wanted to pick up on them, but because I was so happy and obnoxious that I thought I could just talk and have a joke or two.
Well, the guys were nice enough. But there is something that happens when you drink too much. You have two brains. One is the brain that is totally dysfunctional and screamingly drunk, and the other brain is very logical, that can do long division and has an acute sense of when the people around you are disrespecting you or annoyed by you.
So I think I was joking about their hometowns. One was from Cincinnati and I kept screaming, "Say it ain't so Pete!" And I kept toasting to all sorts of stupid stuff like, "NO COLORLINES!" or "To my marriage with the bartender!" There was one part of my brain that could tell the bartender was annoyed at me, because he was telling me to keep my voice down (Hello! It's a bar! And don't you want your tip?)
So anyway, the next thing I know, in all our silly race joke implications back and forth, one of the frat guy jokes, "Me love you long time." And I was confused because it was in a happy enough spirit, but at the same time, my inner activist was telling me that it was wrong. And the next thing I know I am nose to nose with this guy and I have my finger pointed right at his face and I am screaming, "DON'T YOU EVER SAY 'ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME' TO ME!"
Then I think the acute half of my drunk brain realized, I was pretty loud and the whole bar went silent. And next thing I know, Bao is right in front of me, his arm in front of me to protect me and he's in these guys' faces saying, "What did you say to her?"
You got to know, Bao is one bad ass poet, and when he takes the mic, you don't want to mess with him. And he's very political, as well he should be. I saw his face in my drunken haze and thought, "Is he going to fight them or bust out in a poem?"-- because both would be almost the same thing. He looked so no-nonsense and so ready to kick their asses. And the crazy thing is that I don't even know where he came from. I actually thought that he left the bar and in my drunkeness thought, "Was he hanging out in the bat cave and did his micro-sensitive to racism ears hear this and speed him to come out here?"
I said to Bao , "Oh my god, it wasn't as big of a deal as I made it sound. It's ok, Bao." It was a super tense situation. It was kind of cool to see these two white guys so scared of one Bao. But anyhow, I wasn't even sure what happened and if it was indeed a 100% ok situation. Or if I just overreacted to the guy, or what. And it took quite a bit of coercing from me, my two friends beside me and the frat guys and bartender to reassure Bao that it was ok, or at least not something to get into a huge barfight over. And this of course built the tension. Bao wouldn't leave until he was totally sure it was ok. And then he walked away.
In truth it was a very gray situation. It was like any situation where someone brings up that kind of language and semiotics that recalls something very oppressive. And we all had a lot to drink and were all talking kind of stupid. And part of me wonders if I provoked so much funny talk about race, that it was bound to happen. Part of me wonders if I should have walked away from the bar earlier on because I was already sensing some disrespect from those guys, but just figured they were messing around because I had a bit too much to drink.
So anyway, the whole messy situation kind of freaked me out. And I started crying right there. The guys at the bar felt super bad. I just told them that the whole episode was very stressful and that his comment hit a sore spot. They apologized pretty sincerely, we hugged in a cordial way, and parted. I spent the rest of the evening trying to figure out what that whole situation was while huffing and puffing tears.
The next morning my eyes were all puffy, I couldn't even open them at first. I was so embarassed seeing all the ECAASU kids at the continental breakfast at the hotel and trying to politely say hello without sounding like I was trying to avoid them. I felt like the ashamed alcoholic mom.
Anyway, so the moral of this story, is that it was so good to see an Asian brother standing up for me, especially since I couldn't take care of myself in that situation. And it really warmed me that he would stand up for me and protect me even if he wasn't sure what the situation was. He saw that I was distressed and he immediately jumped to help me and wouldn't leave until he was absolutely certain I was ok. It's something I wish Asian men would do more-- be aware that women inherently have more concerns with safety and respect than men, and that they need to help work towards a world where women don't have to be more scared, disrepected, and powerless than men.
And this is not just an Asian male issue, but an issue with all men. All men need to look out for their sisters. All men need to defend our integrity and respect when and where they can. Especially in situations where they have power to do something to look out for us. I've been in so many situations where men were totally clueless that I needed to feel more safe, in situations where they could have helped but didn't. Even in situations where I made it explicitly clear to them that they could help me feel more safe, I have been ignored and disregarded. Some of these were housing/roommate situations where male roommates would constantly violate my safety and boundary issues and tell me that "they don't feel scared, so why should I."
(Also, it wouldn't help to be a little more careful with my alcohol consumption.)
A really awful pic of me and Bao that I took myself.
Here I am
at the bar at the Marriot with my friend James.
This is James Hou who directed Masters
of the Pillow-- a really interesting documentary about Darryl Hamamoto,
the UC Davis professor who made one of the first "Asian American
porn movies" featuring an Asian man. James grew up only blocks from
me in SF, in the same neighborhood.
This picture is supposed to be referencing the subject matter of his doc.
Best of 15 Minutes of FEM
It was last night. An amazing night of performers. I was so nervous. Some cool friends came! Didn't win, but that wasn't really important. We got a standing O at the end of the night!
I am a Lucky Grant Recipient
I got really good news. The application I did with the City of Los Angeles' Cultural Affairs Department to be an Artist-in-Residence and teach performance workshops for women of color was approved. Now all I have to do is find a space in Van Nuys to teach (I was reassigned to District 6). I also have to pray that the Governator will give Cultural Affairs money as they say my project is pending their own funding coming through. I sure as heck hope it comes through because it's a great project I planned and it took me over a week to get that application together!
I also got the Durfee award. This is amazing. It's much needed money that I will use towards my show in Berkeley at the La Pena Cultural Center on April 3.
Off to SF!
My friends Efren and Howard are having their wedding party and my film is screening at the NAATA film fest. I also am going to be promoting my April 3 show at La Pena and supporting OPM.
Check out OPM if you are in SF!
I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY'RE NOT ORIENTAL! Encore!
Presented in association with the Asian American Theater Company (AATC)
March 5th - 8:00 PM
Friday March 5th - 9:30 PM Friday
March 6th - 8:00 PM
Saturday March 6th - 9:30 PM
Saturday
SomArts Theater 934 Brannan Street For reservations, please call 415.543.5738.
For information, please e-mail info@asianamericantheater.org. Or visit
http://www.asianamericantheater.org
WINNER: Best of 2002 San Francisco Fringe Theater Festival
Best of the 2003 Vancouver SketchOff Competition
OPM is L.A.'s Asian American sketch comedy ensemble
STARRING: Ewan Chung, Teddy Chen Culver, Charles Kim, Mai Lee, Jae Suh,
Diana Toshiko and DC Wolfe
DIRECTED BY Eddie Mui
PRODUCED BY Leroy Chin and ChungKim Express (Charles Kim & Ewan Chung)
ASSOCIATE PRODUCED BY Elizabeth Chyr
TECH BY Emery Shen OPM....get addicted http://www.opmcomedy.com