3.28.06-- Kristina Wong is a hooker

Ahh... it's so busy, that I have several updates in one.

I can't help but hook.

Last Christmas I tried to take up crochet to make personalized presents with "heart" and not have to buy those crappy gift baskets from Ross that would get put in the closet with all the other crappy gift baskets. I tried to teach myself on the internet but the results were not aesthetically pleasing. On Christmas day, my aunt, cousins and grandma showed me how to do it right and I have been churning out scarves almost daily since. I crochet in traffic, in line for the post office, in front of the tv, on the phone, on the plane, waiting for food at the restaurant, waiting for my auditions. Seems there is plenty of time between being busy to make scarves. Lots of them.

Ten years ago, my "thing" was theater. Seven years ago, my "thing" was "performance art." Two years ago, my thing was bikes. And this year--it's crochet and arts and crafts!

I love craft sites. My favorite is Craftster.org These women are like the sisters I've always wanted. You have to see the stuff they make. It takes arts and crafts to a whole new hipster level. My favorite procrastination activity is to go to the link of "Most Recent with Pics" and see pics of crafts that people have made. It makes me feel so inspired and like it's possible for the world to get back a little bit of flavor.

I went to the library (which also doubles as my neighborhood's homeless shelter) to get books on crochet. I kid you not, the books on crochet are located under the books on the Amish. I love getting in touch with my inner grannie. I want to have a house full of lace doilies and wear ridiculous knit sweaters and stuff. It makes me feel so proud to make things for people that they can wear.

So basically, now I'm fricking addicted. I went a little nuts and bid on huge lots of yarn on ebay. I spent a few hundred and now have approximately 300 skeins of yarn coming in the mail.... Oh you think I'm kidding?

My friend Wes Kim's wife is an addicted knitter too and now we're talking fibers through email. We've found this connection like never before-- yarn dyeing-- who knew? She keeps a blog about her yarn. A lot of hookers do this. And she already has thousands of hits. I was on AIM with Wes saying, "Why am I spending so much time on your wife's yarn blog? Why?"

It's a cult.

So here's my special offer for the next few months. Get me a book off my Amazon wishlist and I will not only send you a postcard, but a hand crocheted scarf! It may take a while to get it to you, but it will be my way of making that connection to my DIY roots and to return back to that place where that personal connection becomes precious again.

The next thing I've been considering is getting those reusable menstrual pads. I know this is totally horrific to some of you. But in reading those Craftster.org message boards, some chick wrote about a tampon she crocheted herself. Apparently she can reuse it. Now, I am not ready to put my own crocheted creations up my nana, but it did get me thinking about how much the environment is going to hell and how it might be kinda cool to get in touch with my menses and do like the people did back in the day and have to beat my pads against a rock on the river and clean them.

It is like a $60 investment for these luna pads but they are supposed to last for years. Already in talking about this with friends about how I would go about my day with a bloody pad in my purse, I've become the butt of many jokes, but I don't care. I think it would be great. I am still researching this though. It is a little impractical. I told my Bf about this and he said that it would be really gross.

And now... pictures of scarves I've crocheted! Could I get any more exciting?

For Betsy who works at AAI in Philly

My personalized labels! Oh I am such the granny!

Creative Capital-- You blow (my mind!)

If you've followed this site and all my entries since it's launch, you know how much my life has changed as an artist in the last few years. Just four years ago, I sold old porn magazines my friend gave me (Playboy, actually, which you read for the articles) on craigslist because I was just that broke. I sold a heater and a microwave that I still needed. I had to borrow $100 once to pay for that month's health insurance. I had all sorts of roommates coming in and out of my apartment to subsidize my rent.

Now I'm a Creative Capital Grantee, a National Performance Network Grantee, and most importantly-- a full-time, working, and nationally touring artist.

(cue sound: "Chariots of Fire")

I feel teary when I consider how hard it's been and how far I've come. I feel like Hilary Swank who was once living in her car and now has two academy awards to her name. And yet I'm nowhere nearly as rich as her. The point is that I am doing what I was meant to do on this planet. Truly and fully. And what's even more amazing is that this is really just the beginning. There is so much ahead of me. A new show to create and tour. Two books in my queue to write. The gospel of the working artist to share with others. And one day, my karaoke bar.

It's hard to admit where I was a few years ago. But I feel compelled to share because I have so many friends who feel so hopeless and can't see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore. They say, "You're so lucky." And it sometimes feels laced with bitterness. I want to remind them, that I was there too, but things have worked out for me. I've fought for them to work. And it's not impossible, but it is a steep climb and it's one of those things that I really had to give every ounce of me to.

Those years were quite miserable. But I really felt I had to keep pushing forward. Everyone told me to give up, to quit. To get a full time job or that somehow I deserved all this misery for pursuing my dreams. Or that I needed to be "more mainstream"-- what the f is that? It's amazing the things that happen when you are poor and try to remain hopeful. The people who take advantage of you and try to sell you on their get-rich-quick-schemes. The misery that gravitates towards you.

And it's a trip when I meet people who act like this success was all handed to me. People who are like, "Wow, show me how to live on grants!" Like-- "if dodo bird Kristina Wong could do it, so could I." When I told a friend that my new show was about mental illness among APA women and that I got a big grant for it he was like, "Duh, of course, it's such a hot topic." As if artistic merit had nothing to add to it? Like I was just milking "a cause" for all it was worth?

So anyway, enough of the Chariots of Fire story laced with resentment.

Moving on...

I had the most amazing meeting yesterday with the people at Creative Capital! They fly from NYC to meet one-on-one with all their grantees. I met them yesterday at the Standard Hotel.

This Foundation is so amazing. They treat artists like Venture Capitalists treat investments and actually use a business model to work with artists. Rather than offer money and that's it, they work with artists over a few years to see the life of the project through. This way the project and the artist can become successful in the long run. The retreat is amazing. We will meet with all sorts of consultants who will help us strategically plan our careers and all sorts of amazing stuff.

Unfortunately, as the Creative Capital folks affirmed with me, there are way too many myths about being an artist. A lot of it comes from the fact that most non-profit structures don't reflect the reality of how the rest of the world works. Not just arts non-profits but all non-profits. I have seen this having worked with several non-profits. Why can't non profits actually be profitable? Exactly. A lot of grants for arts work on yearly cycles. Projects must come up and down in a fiscal year. Yet creativity doesn't work that way. And when a good project is on it's feet to be toured and shared with the world, there aren't too many resources within a non-profit that will support it so that it can provide maximum success for the artist and maximum profitability.

In short, the non profit structure in the capitalist world is set up to fail a lot of people it serves.

Myths about being an Artist that were debunked yesterday

1. Because you are doing something you actually like, you don't deserve to be paid for it. The pay is the enjoyment you get from doing something you love.
2. You can only be an artist until you are 30, then you have to quit and do something else for money if you actually want to own a home and have a family.
3. If your art is "progressive" or "activist" in nature then you shouldn't make money from it. Because that would make you a capitalist hypocrite.
4. Going mainstream or more commercial as an artist is "bad."
5. You can only become a teacher with a degree in the humanities. This is the only option to stay creative and paid. (As if being a teacher is such a bad thing!)
6. You are supposed to suffer as an artist.
7. You are supposed to romanticize terms like "starving artist" and "struggling actor."
8. You cannot use the same tactics that corporations use to get their ads and products into the world, because you are an artist, you are not supposed to be commercial or infiltrate the mainstream. The art and commercial world are divided by a big black line.

Repeat with me: Fuck that bullshit!

I had been conditioned to look at the arts and being an artist like this for a while. And only in the last few years realized they were actually quite wrong ways of thinking. I think believing these myths caused me to hold back for a long time.

I've decided already that a few years from now I will teach classes for artists on grant-writing and "the business of art." There are several reasons why I want to do this. One is to stop having to give out so much information to friends individually, and instead, give it out all at once. Another is to spread this Creative Capital model of thinking and get more artists out of this self victimizing "starving artist" mentality that i think prevents them from succeeding and doing their work past age 30.

Kristina Wong is the pioneer of "post hip-hop"

As if life couldn't get more interesting, I've been invited to do a revamp of my show "Free?" at the Bay Area Hip Hop theater Festival in May. The show will be 80% new.

The first thing I thought was, "ok Kristina, think about all the things you do that are hip-hop-ish, gather up your street cred, let's do this!"

Anyway, the whole thing has made me think about my relationship to hip-hop and the hip-hop theater world. What is hip hop theater? Is it a beatboxer onstage with me? A DJ? Sing-songy spoken word? Hammer pants and a sideways baseball cap?

I guess it always struck me as a world that I was too dorky to be a part of. Though I've watched plenty of the work, and feel i've been part of that world in many ways. I've decided that my dorky ass deserves to be part of the hip hop theater world too!

Yea boyee!!!!

to be continued....

Kristina

more later,

k