3.6.06-- Don't mess with Richard Simmons!
Since my last entry, I've received the National Performance Network's Creation Fund. (Yipee!) This means I'll be premiering "Wong Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" in Berkeley and Philly with some necessary financially padding. It also means, I think, that I'll get to go to NPN conferences for the next three years which is a big deal and a great way for me to develop in my career. I've also been awarded again with the LA City "Artist -in-Residence" Grant. So I'll be hosting more free performance workshops for women of color!
So why did a cultured gal so upwardly mobile as I am-- an "artiste" if you will, spend her precious sunny weekend at home yesterday posting on IMDB? And no, it wasn't posting comments for movies like "Citizen Kane" or "On the Waterfront."
Friends, I was posting on topics that include Richard Simmons, the Flavor of Love, Schatar White ("Hottie" from the Flavor of Love) and the Surreal Life. I won't tell you which posts are mine. You are welcome to do your own detective work to see which comments I wasted all Sunday making. I couldn't believe how much time I spent reading inane posts from 13 year olds who have nothing better to say but "She's fat and hella gay! i wudn't (sic) hit dat cuz it nastee! *7)"
After a while, I started shaking in front of the screen. All those little animated gif faces jumping up and down. All that telling people to stop obsessing over Richard Simmons' sexuality. But it didn't start Sunday. It started on Friday night when I went onto Myspace and asked all the contestants on Flavor of Love to be my friend.
What the...?
It's like I had this total relapse into the sick place I was at during winter break at my parent's house-- watching every reality show marathon on VH1, shaking when I walked away from the television. Looking up celebrity trivia when the commercials were on. My BF would turn the tv off and I'd start screaming like a heroin addict, "NO!!! I need it! Just another 10 minutes! Please baby! Please!!"
I don't even have TV reception here in LA, let alone cable TV and I was downloading every clip of "The Flavor of Love" I could find on youtube.com. Then reading synopsis for each episode. Then I took a nap and had dreams about the final episode of "Flavor of Love" which plays next Sunday. I know almost every contestant's name by heart. Even the ones that got eliminated in the first episodes. I know them better than my own family.
And when I was done posting, I started looking up my APA actor friends and saw that a few of them have made posts about themselves. Now, it's not proven and I am not naming names, but it seems quite clear from the nature of their posts that they have logged on with several handles to talk about themselves and how sexy they are. It's really bad because they have a flurry of haters on their threads who are quick to tear them down.
Then I went to my wee little IMDB page. Nobody was writing about me. Nobody at all. I was so tempted to start a conversation about myself. What would I say?
"That girl is so funny, she should have her own show!"
"Sexy and Brilliant!"
"I saw this totally unknown short film she was in and she stole the freaking show!"
"She came to my school once, and was totally inspiring and gosh I can't wait to see her become bigger and bigger!"
Alas, I said nothing about myself on IMDB. Why? Because you'd all find me out after reading this blog entry. I welcome you to write about me. Especially flattering things about what an amazing bikini model I'd make.
So Pathetic,
Kristina