9.30.04-- Stretched Thin

Is it possible that I have one of those fatigue diseases? I can't seem to even stay awake lately. And I get more than 8 hours of sleep per day. And I haven't even unpacked from my last trip to Chicago. Now I am going back to Chicago today. Maybe that's ok. I will just cart off the unpacked luggage there.

I have this huge list of "to-dos" that I have yet "to do." Why is the world so overwhelming?

I need to find a way to feel balanced. Because I am doing all this oddball touring around. This last month is teaching me a lot about preparing for imbalance. Some weeks I will go nowhere, other weeks I am going to be touring up the ass. And inbetween my body has to learn to adjust to it all. And enjoy it. I did enjoy the last trip to Chicago. That made me feel like I could inspire others through my work. But I felt so sick when I came back.

I think flying makes me feel sick. I feel totally out of whack. A lot of people have been saying, "Damn Kristina, you hooked it up. You get to travel and perform?"

Yes, but it shouldn't make me feel sick like this and make all my hair fall out. I am grateful, but I am so so so tired.

Maybe I am a hypochodriate (sp?) like Woody Allen.

I was at work yesterday and left early because I thought I was getting sick. I think it was all the adrenaline in my body that was restrained to filing and typing. Ugh. Offices are not normal. I really want to be a teacher when I grow up. A part time teacher at a university. My friend Natasha has tattoos and teaches sociology and she changes people's lives. That's what I want to do. But I don't want to teach sociology.

I am so ready to just live off of low interest federal loans for a year or two and spend my days writing at the beach. I have been fantasizing about it. But everyone I know who is still paying back college loans has been like, "Noooo!!! Don't do it Kristina!!!"

Anyway, if you are in the Chicago area, I will be teaching and performing 25 minutes of my work at Northwestern University. Here's the site with details.

I promise to post with pictures next time. Esp. detailed pics from Chicago.

Thanks to everyone who has contributed to the AIDS Lifecycle for me. I'm almost at 10% of my goal! Not bad for a week's work!

Love,

Kristina