Car(e) Free Los Angeles: The Wong Sans Wheels Chronicles #6-- The Norma Rae of the Seventh Veil

Jenny Shimizu, I'm waiting for you.... At the bus stop...

Being carless has its perks. Right now at this very moment, it doesn't. I'm cabin feverish, as I've been all week. Too lazy to jump on a bike and to skiddish to call someone to take me out. I'm at a stalemate at my computer. But even if I did have a car, where would I go? I have to wake up early tomorrow to try on bridesmaid dresses in Torrance. And a shit-ton of work to do for this show. Oh man, this show! I got a little scared again today about it. I'll still tour this show for another few months after this Los Angeles run. Heck, I'll tour it as long as there is interest. But my life is changing and there are new shows to make.

I'm ready to move onto "not as political or fix-the-world-esque" stuff. Will there be a market for me? Will I survive this economy?

Where is my bootleg copy of The Secret when I need it?

But time to share more carless adventures. This past Tuesday night, my friend suggested we take advantage of the free drinks at this DVD release party for "Itty Bitty Titty Committee"-- it's like the hot new lesbian indie film. But more importantly-- free drinks! And I was getting a ride over.

I think I've mentioned it before, but my lesbian dreamboatess is Jenny Shimizu, former Calvin Klein model and ex-lover of Angelina Jolie. Yum yum.

We've met twice before. The first time was at a small apartment party in Koreatown where as soon as I saw her, I started screaming excitedly in her face that she was Jenny Shimizu (don't tell me that I don't have game). And another time was at this transgender beauty pageant where she was one of the judges (and while taking a photo, I managed to poke Chay in the eyes in my excitement).

So after tossing down drinks, I see her. Across the bar. I started jumping up and down and my friend and this Korean gal we just met there were like, "We're just going to tell her about your show!"

"No! What if she hates me!?!" I screamed. But they push me towards her anyway.

So there we were on the floor. All I can stutter out to Jenny Shimizu is: "We've met before! At that lesbian party! You know, of that lesbain couple, in Koreatown. I forget their names. They were together, but then they broke up? They have dogs? You know who I'm talking about?"

Nevermind that I basically described every lesbian in Los Angeles....



All we got were these blurry photos from my Crackberry. Gosh I can't wait to get my nice camera back and start taking nice pictures again!

So I'm following Jenny all over the bar with a Long Island in one hand, when our new Korean lady friend was like, "Do you want to go to the Seventh Veil now?"

For those not in the know, the Seventh Veil is a strip club on Sunset Blvd.

***
The last time I went to a strip club was in 2002. Back then, I was scraping by in my fledgling artist career and saw this coupon in the LA Weekly for free admission to this strip club within walking distance of my apartment. What really caught my eye was the advertisement for "Free Buffet Lunch."

Free Admission? Free lunch? Yay! Free food AND feminist research! An artist's dream come true. I had to check out what a buffet at a strip club would be-- chicken wings covered in cigarette butts? Salad that smelled like ass? And what would it be like to eat lunch with a shaking crotch over my plate?

Feminist Research.

It wasn't totally free-- $6 for a "drink ticket." But still... free food... and yes... feminist research. It was funny to walk down Bundy to this little strip club (the Silver Reign) that I'd always noticed behind Staples and never thought to go to. When I got in there it was so dark. I could barely see the dancers. They were blurs of boob and ass. The buffet sat on a little card table in the corner. It was cheese pasta in sternos, salad from a bag, and sliced bread-- the meal of champions!

I sat in the corner with my then boyfriend's best friend who came with me because he wanted a free meal too. We hunched over our baked ziti, trying to look very involved with our food, avoiding eye contact with the dancers so that we wouldn't have to pay for lapdances or tip (as we were pretty much out of money at that point).

It was really surprising how many guys there were there. After all, the sun was out.

The dancers were quite taken by my presence as the only (not naked) girl there. They kept coming over, shaking my hand, letting their hands trail against my leg. All the while, I would just nod politely and stuff myself with pasta and send them on their way to circle the club to find someone who could tip them.

***

Anyway, so this last Tuesday, filled with free drinks, I am in the backseat of our new friend's car on my way to the Seventh Veil. And my friend is with me back there. I had to go. After all, this was feminist research! Plus, what else was I going to do? Take the bus home?

$20 to get in! And I got another $20 broken into ones. It was exciting though to actually be able to tip the girls instead of hide from them. But... Is it me? Or are strip clubs passe? Aren't we completely desensitized to stripper-esque nudity in this day and age? It's not that interesting to see a girl in her bikini anymore. Or even a naked girl. I can look at that at home for free.

But we played up the part of saucy strip club patrons. I tucked bills into G-strings and played the role of the music video jerk guy. Raising the roof and letting these dancers do insane, yet totally numbing stuff like stick their boobies in my face.

All that ass in my face got so dull. Very quickly. And the guys who arrived alone and who weren't tipping were pissing me off.

Still tipsy, I turned to my friend and kept asking, "What's going on? How the heck did we end up in a strip club with a lesbian on a Tuesday night?"

Ah yes, I remember now. I have no car. And this is how I'm getting a ride home.

And in another moment I thought to myself: "Nudity is so boring. Maybe I should work here if my touring dries up. Sure I just turned 30, but I still got it. It would be... feminist research! Like Diablo Cody's early years!"

One of the girls asked us if we wanted a dance. Still inebriated, I found myself educating her about her labor rights.

KW: Do you pay a stage fee to work here?
Dancer: Yeah, we have to pay a portion of what we make.
KW: Just so you know, I had a friend who was a dancer in San Francisco, and she was able to successfully sue the clubs she danced at for back wages. Because it is illegal to have to pay to work.
D: Well we make a lot, so...
KW: It is illegal for you to have to pay to work! They already make $20 at the door. And they shouldn't take more of your wages when you are inside. Waiters don't have to pay to wait tables! So you shouldn't have to pay to work here. You really should check out the Sex Workers Outreach Project here in Los Angeles. It's your money and you have the right to it!
D: (Quiet, then...) Well, let me know if you want a dance.

That's right folks. I was organizing that club from the inside!

I think the unfortunate difference about dancers in LA (versus somewhere like San Francisco) is that it is probably a lot harder for dancers to organize. And I also wonder if there is less interest. In the "Live Nude Girls Unite" documentary about how San Francisco dancers formed the first exotic dancers union -- most of those women were Women's Studies majors, artists, super educated and very activist oriented. There seemed to be a whole pride and identity around being a "sex worker" in San Francisco that there might not be in Los Angeles. I feel like in LA, it's a lot of aspiring actors working the pole who are trying to get in and out of that business while they can.

Anyway, for my mother who is probably totally horrified as she reads this: I do not plan to pursue being a stripper. In order to protect the Wong Family name, I will find another way of collecting feminist research. I'm sure there is a massage parlor somewhere that could use my help.

Yes, folks, the carless life has meant a new life of debauchery-- booze, lesbians, and strippers. Oh yeah, and labor organizing. Do not judge me. It's feminist research. I swear.

Car(e) Free Los Angeles: The Wong Sans Wheels Chronicles #5-- What is your Walkscore?

Another scene from Cat Lady.

Part of switching to a low car diet, means living in neighborhoods that are compact and have everything you need within walking distance. This is why most New Yorkers and folks in San Francisco can go without cars. CNN featured this website called walkscore.com which basically takes your address and rates how good a walking neighborhood it is on a scale of 0 to 100 based on what things are in walking distance from your home.

Seinfeld's neighborhood in Manhattan is a 100 because it is within walking distance to theaters, groceries, bookstores, libraries, gyms, churches, schools, bars and all the things you need access to in order to have a good life.

Turns out my neighborhood in West LA is an 88! And the neighborhood I grew up in, in San Francisco is a 55 because that neighborhood is actually very far from commerce. Though San Francisco overall ranks as a more friendly city to walk in than New York!

My guess is that most neighborhoods in Los Angeles along the 10 freeway rank pretty high. Because if you think about it, there really is a major boulevard with lots of commerce and business on every corner.

So why aren't more people walking here? Why do people drive all the way to Vermont Ave or the Santa Monica Promenade to walk? Why not walk just outside your door? Why don't we shop at the carneceria around the corner and instead drive across town to go to Trader Joes? Why don't we get drunk at the bar four blocks away but trek to Roosterfish in Venice instead? Why do we drive to the Barnes and Nobles at Westside Pavilion instead of checking out a book at the local library?

It's interesting to think that I pretty much never have to leave my neighborhood in Los Angeles to get the bare basics of living. In the seven years (!) I've lived in my apartment, I have yet to go to the Oaxacan restaurant up the block or the bar that I found out on Walkscore is only four blocks away.

The thing with Los Angeles, is that "community" is not really defined by where you live. There have been times that I identified more with the citizens of Koreatown because I was spending so much time there. There were times I've felt more identified with the Little Tokyo community because I was doing so much work down there and that's where I'd meet up with friends.

Who will be my community be without a car? Where are you? Let's push our shopping carts down to the Jewish Grocery store together!

Car(e) Free Los Angeles: The Wong Sans Wheels Chronicles #4-- It adds up.

Anyone want to drive this classy lady around?

So far, so free on the car free front. My camera is unfortunately in my friend Cindy's car (she picked me up from the tow yard). So I only have this picture from Cat Lady as the only visual hook to this blog entry which is about the money I have left in my pocket.

The Economic Perks of being Car Free, Thus Far.

Renting out the carport!
Score! I found a renter for my carport. $90 a month to do nothing but give parking to someone. That's $1080 over the course of the year. I actually think, now that I look around on Craigslist that I could have gotten up to $125 a month, but no matter. I'll gouge the next one that comes along.

REFUNDS! and Things I don't have to buy anymore.
So I didn't have insurance to cover the car loss when it caught on fire, I did get a refund on my car insurance that I wont' be using for the five months ahead ($390) and it looks like like I can get a refund from the DMV on my car registration ($90) and I won't be renewing my AAA membership this year ($78).

From the time I've been carless on August 14, this is what my transportation expenses have been...

$150 to set up a a Zip Car Membership ($25 for application, $50 for annual membership, $75 for optional $0 deductible insurance)
$10 in gas money for Marie Reine
$10 in taxi on drunken night with Greg
$10 approx in bus fare.

TOTAL $180.

This is not bad considering that I won't have to pay ZipCar again unless I actually use their cars. I may actually spend as little as $100 a month to get around if I really use my bike and public transpo to get around and no cabs. And that's pretty much what I'll be getting to rent out the carport. Woo hoo!

The Approximate Numbers: My attempt at Math....
According to some sites I've been looking at, the average car owner spends $7000 a year to own their car. I'm pretty sure my old Vegetable oil car cost me a lot more than that. I think this $7000/year estimate is old (from 2004) and the cost to drive has gone up with gas prices. So let's say, that it is actually $8000 a year to drive with current gas prices.

If I use a Zip Car one full day a week for four times each month ($264), budget public transpo at $3 a day for all other days of the week since I don't ride every day($75), money for gas/ parking chip-in ($30), taxis for drunken nights ($60), meals for nice friends with cars who drive me around ($30), and bike maintenance ($15).

My monthly transpo budget is at-- $474 a month

Multiply this by 12 months (and mind you, I'm on tour so much that there are months I won't even be spending anything on transpo)-- $5688

Add the yearly Flex Car membership and insurance-- $125

Subtract the amount I get from renting the carport-- $1080

TOTAL to transport me around town-- $4733

Savings (against $8000 estimate a year to own a car)-- $3267

Does this math sound right? It doesn't actually seem super significant a savings considering the headache of figuring getting myself around. I actually think I save a lot more since I'm not around all the time and work from home and don't even use the bus or won't always need the Flex Car. Oh yes, and I won't be having THAT many drunken nights that I need to cab around town. So my guess is that my savings might be something closer to $4000 a year, if not more.

OTHER PERKS OF THE CAR FREE LIFE
* I've been reading books on the bus! Yeah! Remember those?

* I have been taking notes about bus riding and have already been talking up "The Bus Show" with a really big LA Theater presenter... this very well could be a show!

* Needing to get around means I'm spending more time reaching out to friends. With cars, and without.

* I'm making new friends who don't have cars! Like my friend Narinda who blogged about me.


THE JOYS OF THE SUBWAY
I found myself in Downtown LA Sunday morning and needed to get to Koreatown. I had no idea that the subway (yes, there is a subway in Los Angeles) would get me there so quickly. It was exciting. Like I'd discovered some secret Los Angeles portal.

I've taken the subway here before, but had no idea how convenient it was. All these new stations opening! And there is nobody to check your ticket!

The Honor System? In Los Angeles?!

My friend Soo Jin and I went to Sunset Junction to see what the big freaking deal was with that annual summer Silverlake Street Fair. Basically, it was a sham. $20 to see bands I've not heard of. So we tried to recuperate the admission cost by amassing condom samples, free lightbulb samples, and beer samples. Someone bought our wristbands from us for $10 when we left, and we were happy for the rebate.

It was a fun weekend. We took the subway to get to Sunset Junction (avoiding a lot of parking headaches), and then took a bus to see the 18 Mighty Mountain Warriors show. After the show, the guys from 18MMW gave a shout out to Herbert of Culture Clash and then to ME! I was so honored. I didn't do anything but show up.

And then I got a ride home from a friend I hadn't seen in a while. He gave me some real estate advice on the ride home. That's what has been nice about riding home with people, we actually get to talk outside a computer screen!

According to my friend Jay who drove me home, we got another year or two before the real estate market bottoms out!

I'm ready. I'm on the path to saving up for my first down payment on a house in my car free life and I'm going to invest what I have already until this market hits the pits.

Home ownership... here I come! Watch out Malibu! I'm coming for your foreclosed beach house! (By bus... at least....)

Car(e) Free Los Angeles: The Wong Sans Wheels Chronicles #3-- How Fast I Fall.

Did you know that not only are there children in Los Angeles, but seniors, and people who use wheelchairs to get around? Yes! It's true! I see them on the bus!

On the bus today there was an older woman with a big suitcase she couldn't get onto the bus. She screamed, "Help! Help!" And this younger guy got out of his seat to help her carry it on. She was so thankful and kept thanking him. He smiled back. And it was the sweetest interaction I remember seeing between two strangers in this city in a long time. I mean, when was the last time you saw strangers helping each other in LA who weren't expecting to be tipped?

So far, so good on the car free front. The bus has been good to me. My friends generously offer me rides when they can. And my friend Yen is loaning me her folding bike, so I have an easy-to-collapse bike option.

As I was filing old receipts, I cringed at all the auto bills from the last few months. I hate that car! There was easily a mortgage on a house in the desert in that car. Gone! No more investments that depreciate in value! Car Free! Here I come! For sure!

I have had weird anxiety dreams the last few nights about traveling. Last night, I had a dream that I was trying to get from Salt Lake City to Columbus, OH and couldn't find a direct flight to save my life. In the dream I had to drive to Bozeman, Montana to get a flight that could get me to another city in Ohio. And the whole time there was a guy screaming that I would never be able to get to Columbus on a direct flight. Never! He kept screaming in my dream.

I had a meeting at TeAda today about my show in one month. That's right! Wong Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest hits Southern California for NINE SHOWS September 19- October 5! (By the way, the tickets are on sale NOW.)

I was telling the TeAda staff about my new life without the car:

"Last week I was a high class lady driving a fancy pink Mercedes down Rodeo Dr. And this week, I'm pushing a shopping cart filled with kitty litter past the homeless people on Santa Monica Blvd and sitting next to men who wear feces stained coveralls on the bus. Between that, my stimulus check, and the $40 coupon from the government to get a digital converter for my TV-- I feel like a senior citizen on welfare. How fast I fall!"

(insert their laughter)

I know, I'm being dramatic. And it has been pointed out to me many times since last week, I am fortunate that making the decision to be a car-less citizen of Los Angeles is my choice, not an economics obligation.

But I can't help but feel like a second class citizen of the city as I wait at these bus stops all vulnerable to the big noisy cars vrooming past me. Sitting with other quite-average-for-LA -standards people who many Angelinos forget also live and work in our city. It's been great to get some reading done, to send emails from my blackberry, and to get a few blocks of walking in here and there-- but I still feel very disoriented in my new identity as a car free citizen in this city.

I was on a big bicycling kick three years ago (remember when I did the AIDS Ride?) and left my car parked quite often. But there is part of me that feels invisible/ lost/ disabled without a big machine in my carport with my name on it-- literally.

Though, I did kinda flip out today when I realized how much this car loss has hit my bank balance. The car loss was conveniently timed after all these expensive repairs, my return from an unpaid 6 week residency in Florida, and a long summer with virtually no shows dates scheduled. Lest my readers forget, this artist must survive in the same economy as you! I'm actually looking forward to the school year starting-- schools shows! I need you!

Perhaps its a great thing that the car imploded. Because at this rate, it would take down every last cent I had.

By the way, I was just approved for the Zipcar carshare service yesterday. So I will have an option for a lo-cost rental car with free gas should I so desperately need a car in the next year. If you are interested in signing up, let me know, I can send you an email that will allow me to get $50 in driving credit!

Car(e) Free Los Angeles: The Wong Sans Wheels Chronicles #2: I CAN ROCK A SHOPPING CART

Last night, my friend Greg came by to comfort me in my new car free existence. Greg is a dancer/ performer and doesn't even have a driver's license. Yet he performs all over town, parties and does all sorts of stuff in Los Angeles with no car. I think this car free life will mean I will be entertaining more around the apartment, as people will have to come to me more than I am able to come to them. I cooked fish for us and we drank wine.

Already, being car free has reintroduced alcohol into my life. I had two glasses of wine before my audition yesterday, in fact. It feels very New York to me to be able to drink at all hours like this and not worry about how I will DRIVE myself home or leave the house to go out. This is also why I had decided I couldn't be a permanent New Yorker-- because three Long Island Iced Teas a night and drunk dialing my parents from my Brooklyn sublet is funny for a week, but not a way of life.

We watched my UCLA commencement speech on DVD. It just arrived in the mail. I had a hard time watching myself on the DVD. Did you guys know that I have the strangest voice in the world? Where did the Midwestern thing in my voice come from? From growing up in San Francisco? The edit of my speech looks great except the sound source from my mic doesn't match evenly with the non-mic'd reaction of the audience--- so it almost seems as if all my jokes are landing flat. I swear there was laughter that day! I swear! It doesn't help that when the cut goes to the graduates in the audience, that they just wave to the camera and smile instead of looking extremely involved with my amazing speech.

Greg and I took the bus to the Promenade (only .75 cents each!) and walked to Venice to go to the Roosterfish (the local gay bar). Greg taught me how to pack for these night ventures sans car. No packing a purse or wallet, instead, just the basics were carried in his pocket-- cash, credit card, ID. And I put my phone in my pocket.

We were walking and walking and walking to get to Venice. At one point I screamed out, "I don't know why, but I feel homeless right now!" It was kind of unreal (mostly because I was tipsy) to experience so much Los Angeles by foot for function, not leisure. I felt like such an outsider with no big machine to go back to at the end of the night when I walked by all the obnoxious frat people on Main St. This car free thing is making me feel like a college freshman all over again. Like I'm rediscovering the world for the first time, from a new and more vulnerable space.

I was such the enabler at the Roosterfish thanks to the two long islands. At one point, I demanded reparations from a cluster of men, and got $2 from them. I put the money into my underpants and later handed the bills to Greg to pay our tab. I also kissed a couple of the gay men. Neither of us seemed to really enjoy it, but it was funny and that's what matters. And at one point, this one guy told me to feel his boyfriend's package from outside his pants. And who was I to say no?

A few times I'd spot two men talking together and scream, "Give him a kiss! Give him a kiss!" And the response more often than not was, "Sweetie, we've already fucked like ten times."

At one point I had a huge cluster of men around me adoring me and hugging me for being so awesome (apparently, I was hilarious). Despite their love, I kept demanding reparations from them in one dollar bill increments. This one guy who is a hotshot hairdresser offered to cut my hair for free in my kitchen. And outside, Greg was nursing some guy who kept punching his fist against the wall because he was mad that his boyfriend was flirting with other men.

Me and Greg took a cab home (it is possible to hail a cab in LA, btw). We stopped up the block from my apartment for the world's worst tacos and managed to freak out the cooks without trying to freak out-- we were just trying to order. I woke up in the morning on the living room floor and "The Room" DVD was playing on the TV. I crawled to bed. Greg was passed out on my couch with his hand in his underpants.

What is the point of this story? To show you that not having a car in Los Angeles is bringing out new kinds of social depravity I never knew I was capable of at my age.

************

Today was my first Saturday being car free. I put little flyers up on my neighbors' doors telling them I was car free and renting out my carport for $90 a month. That's right! I now have some valuable real estate on my hands. If someone rents it... that's $1080 a year! Enough for 108 Long Island Ice Teas at a mid-scale bar. If nobody uses the carport, I will set it up with a hammock and read poetry.

It also took me a good two hours to psyche myself up for running errands via little black shopping cart on Santa Monica Blvd.

So there I was, pushing this shopping cart down Santa Monica Blvd to go get kitty litter and toilet paper from VONS and also to check my PO box. It was getting hot. The gridlock of cars on the road is overwhelming and it feels totally vulnerable to be one of the few pedestrians walking on a big boulevard packed with moving cars. As I am dragging all my belonging in that little hand cart, I found a remarkable kinship with other Angelinos pushing shopping carts-- homeless people, Latino families, older people, and people who talk to themselves.

Did you know there are people in Los Angeles over the age of 50? Yes! You can see them if you walk along Santa Monica Blvd!

Anyway, so I'm kinda checking myself out in the reflection of all these store windows and checking out how silky my black hair is and how tight my little body is in my sundress and the cart is bumping along behind me.

I'm thinking: "Hot damn! I look good for a girl pushing a shopping cart down Santa Monica Blvd! I bet I'm the hottest girl pushing a shopping cart in Los Angeles right now."

As the big wheels clunked up and down the squares of gum stained pavement, my hotness was confirmed with a nice long whistle from a homeless man crawling (on his hands and knees, no less) in the street.

That right America! I push a shopping cart filled with kitty litter and toilet paper down Santa Monica Blvd. and I look damn good doing it.

Car(e) Free Los Angeles: The Wong Sans Wheels Chronicles #1

This made the horrendous walk from the bus stop a little bit better. It took me 3 hours to get to and from an audition today. aaah...... But at least I got to read the paper?

The idea of owning a car again makes me so nauseous. I just think of my car on fire and the tally in my head yesterday: "Those tires-- $200, there goes the hose I just replaced-- $240, oh and $40 in fuel... and... and ... and....")

I think I am going to actually go car- free in Los Angeles. Or... try this at least.

Lemons from Lemonade. Folks have been quite encouraging today over Facebook that I somehow turn this into a show. How the hell am I going to get to the theater?

I'm going to blog about my new car free existence with the above title... "Car(e) Free Los Angeles: The Wong Sans Wheels Chronicles."

I kinda wish I was car free last year when I was on tour most of the time and didn't need to be paying for an unused car parked in my carport. But this is how the world works... not timed in our favor.

I've been running down my options for getting around: Flex car, bus, bike, walk, borrow friend's car, catch rides, car service and taxi. I have a rather large headache thinking about how I will manage those monster days when I have appointments in the Valley, then Hollywood, then Downtown back home. How I will watch theater shows out in the Valley, then go grocery shopping after, then stop by to see a friend for coffee.

It's a little daunting to take on. I started to have what I like to think of as "crazy people thoughts" (and yes, these differ from thoughts I have on a day-to-day basis).

These are some of the "crazy people thoughts" I had today when considering my car-free life ahead of me.

1. "Maybe I should start dating someone who can give me rides around town."
2. "Maybe I should date a guy with no job and a car who can live here with me in the apartment and can drive me around town when I need a ride."
3. "Maybe I should have never broken it off with ____ from so many years ago. I could have used his car right now."


No matter. I just have to do it. I'm going to try it for at least a month. Maybe if I am really good at this car free stuff, I can do it for the next four months until I leave on tour again.

And my friend Greg who is also car-less is coming over to keep me company. He left like 3 hours ago to get here by bus. And is not here yet. Oh boy.