A film I co-wrote and acted in last April in Chicago is playing in a film festival in Gstaad, Switzerland! And it's up for an award called the "Golden Cow"! It was a blast working with my crazy talented director friend Masahiro Sugano and it felt like one of those really exciting true collaborations where you are just running with ideas and going going going.

But the best part is you all get to see me making out with this guy Dwight on a lawn full of goose poop while old Chinese men watch us. Yes, it's true. Sex is unnecessary when you have yarn.



UPDATE: Looks like the director is taking this down in a few days because we need to let this film make the rounds at festivals all over the world first. So enjoy it while you can. In the event that it's important to you to see the film and can't wait til it goes online because you are someone in a high position of power or relative of mine, email me and I'll send you a link where you can download the film. Thanks!

Labels: a shot at love with kristina wong, artist life., asian men, hollywood wong, sex is unnecessary when you have yarn, sex is unnecessary when you have yarn.

I just saw a casting notice for "Shot at Love 4"-- they are looking for a new bi-bachelorette star. Oh man, I have arrived. I have arrived like damaged mail.

Network executives! I have a pitch that will be sure to increase your viewership among performance art aficionados, third wave feminist academics, and nasty old white pervies.

It's A Shot at Love with Kristina Wong!

Synopsis: 36 beautiful men and women (mostly Korean) ranging from ages 22-80 move into Kristina's 2 bedroom apartment in West LA for a chance to win the heart of this reclusive-yet-extroverted, neurotic-yet-sincere big bad Chinese cat lady. Each week, Kristina eliminates the unworthy, and those who remain will get a special crochet hook on a necklace ensuring another week in the apartment and the one ultimate shot at love with Kristina!

Week 1: Welcome to West LA!
All the contestants get off the Santa Monica Blue Bus and drag their luggage two blocks past the corner liquor store and the loitering homeless on Santa Monica Blvd to move into Kristina's apartment! The 36 all huddle into the living room where every imaginable sleeping area is claimed faster than you can say "Interdisciplinary Performance Artist!" Kristina rolls up in her pink benz to greet her future suitors in an outfit to die for-- A hand crocheted poncho! (Note: Due to car catching on fire last August, this entrance will likely be staged in a shopping cart) All Koreans who show up get a "use-whenever" coupon to hang out with Kristina and are automatically moved to the next round creating racial tension in the apartment.

After a night of mingling over orange juice and bottle water, Kristina picks a handful of the unlucky (in an elimination ceremony staged in her carport) who will not make the next round.


Week 2: Who is oppressed? And who can comment on it ironically?

Challenge: To find out who can most identify with Kristina's work, she's set up a challenge that will really put them in her shoes. Using only fake blood, a roll of toilet paper, and butoh movement, the contestants must convey their inner legacies of oppression by creating an improvised performance art piece. Bonus points awarded to those who can be self-referential. The winners get to go on a special bike date with Kristina and buy her sushi.


Week 3: The Cat Lady Cometh

Challenge: What would you do for Kristina's love? In this challenge, massive piles of cat diarrhea and cat pee have been left in the apartment by Kristina's cat Oliver. And the contestants who clean up the most wins a date with Kristina at nearby Stoner Park for a vegetarian BBQ that they will cook for her.


Week 4: Grant me a Future

Challenge: Kristina needs help writing a high stakes Rockerfeller MAPP Grant that needs to be postmarked by midnight. So all the contestants get a shot at writing Kristina's grant. The strongest grantee wins a date with Kristina-- a shopping spree at Ross Dress for Less! But here's the challenge twist-- every two minutes, one of Kristina's friends will instant message with nothing important to say. Can they survive the online distractions, write the killer grant and get to the airport post office in time?


Week 5: Oil me up!
Challenge: Seeing as the price of vegetable oil has now climbed higher than that of gasoline, Kristina sends her contestants to the back alleys of some of LA's finest strip malls to find some fuel for her pink Benz. The contestants must pump and filter used cooking oil so that it is usable for driving. The one who returns with the most usable oil wins a date taking Kristina to the auto shop in Silverlake (where it was dropped off for yet another mechanical problem during the last episode) so she can actually put the fuel in her car.

(Note: Now that the car is non-existent, we may have to change this into a challenge where people help me put together bus fare from my couch cushions.)

Week 6: Can you tech Wong?

Challenge: This week's special guest judge is Jen, Kristina's theater technician that has toured with her on the road. Jen once teched Kristina's show from behind the scrim-- meaning she teched her show BLIND! Jen will do a crash course with the Wong-loving hopefuls on reading Kristina's scrawly handwriting and how to read Kristina's inconsistent stage cues. Jen will also offer tips on how to kick Kristina out of a pre or post show panic.

Whoever can best tech Kristina's show after this crash course wins a special date to see the Wooster Group at the REDCAT.

But here's the real twist-- they won't be teching the show in a theater but a cafeteria! Can they make it work?


Week 7: Oh the Yarns we Tangle

Challenge: Oh no! All of Kristina's yarn stash has come loose and tangled. Even her really nice Rowan yarn. The contestants must untangle and re-skein the yarn so she can knit it. The winning fiber untangler gets to go on a date with Kristina to Wildfiber, Kristina's favorite local
yarn store in Santa Monica.


Week 8: Guess Who's coming for dinner?

Challenge: The contestants are surprised when ex-Calvin Klein model and all over hot lesbian Jenny Shimizu shows up as surprise judge. Jenny grills the remaining hopefuls for their "creepy factor" screening out those with right-wing tendencies, lack of motivation, and an obscene collection of Japanese anime deemed as too creepy for Kristina's love.

Drama hits the house when Jenny starts to come onto Kristina. After Kristina and Jenny engage in intense lovemaking, walk arm-in-arm past all of Kristina's ex-boyfriends, and taking plenty of photo evidence to document it all, Kristina sends (heartbroken) Jenny on her way.


Week 9: Meet the Wongs
The remaining three contestants fly to San Francisco where they will meet Kristina's parents and extended family in what stands to be the greatest challenge yet-- gaining the Wong Family seal of approval. Who's FICA score is strong enough to withstand Mama Wong's credit check? Who will survive Papa Wong playing Whitney Houston's self-titled album on a loop for five straight hours?

Kristina eliminates one, and only two remain.

Week 10: Only One is Right for Wong
Kristina takes the final two for a special getaway. No, not Miami.... not Jamaica... not Hawaii. But Sawtelle Blvd, a few blocks from the West LA apartment! Exotic! Kristina springs for dinner at Yashima's where she worked as a hostess for a month after college (they still hook her up). There she asks the final two to put all their guns on the table and sing their best Karaoke renditions of a GnR song.

In a spectacular finale ceremony in Kristina's carport that involves battery powered Christmas lights and fake flowers bought on clearance-- the winner of Kristina's heart is revealed.

**********************

It's a sexy idea for a show isn't it? Yes, I thought you'd agree.

I'm going to cry now and brush my cat.

Labels: a shot at love with kristina wong

My awesome trans friend Riku commented that this has been the gayest week of my life. And more awesome than that, he said that I may have actually "out-gayed" our gay as hell friend D'lo this week.

It really has. I was out campaigning for "No on Prop 8" on Wednesday. It had been a while since I stood out on the street with a sign rallying. And yesterday, I coordinated "Kristina's Lesbian Jamboree." It was a gathering of lesbians and their friends in West Hollywood. It was about getting the married lesbians out of the house. Introducing my lesbian friends to each other. And also building some awareness around "No on Prop 8."

And oddly enough, for a gathering of Lesbians, it was not that dramatic.

I still struggle with pinning my "orientation" down to any one word. And though many speculated that I may have definitely been bi- or bi-curious when I rode my bicycle with the "Dykes on Bikes" at Pride a couple years back, I was still mums about how it is I identify myself.

But I've decided this week to come out of the closet.

Ladies and Germs, I am a loud and proud Gesbian.

I know this may come to a surprise to all of you. Particularly, this may be hard on my family who like my friends, are still trying to figure out what a "Gesbian" is. (I want my family to know that I love them and that I would never do this to hurt them.) I'm sure my family and friends are worried about me-- getting "Gesbian bashed," being discriminated against for being a "Gezzie," and will I have the right to marry another Gesbian? Could I have kids with another Gezzie?

I'm ready for the scorn, the discrimination, the Gesbiphobia. Because this is who I am. And I refuse to be someone else. I've hidden it for so long. But at my core, I'm a GESBIAN.

Last night my two good girlfriends who are partnered and are absolutely meant for each other sent a late night email that they are getting married today at City Hall. I think if they had the choice they would have waited to plan their wedding more at their pace. But right now, they don't know if they will have the choice after November 4. So they are rushing to do this.

I cry now as I re-read their words and the passion behind them.

"those of you who are closest to us know how much we care for and love one another and most of you understand the commitment we continue to make in our "practice" of lifelong love. it is not a magical something that just appears, even when it feels magical. it is the practice of committing and trying and learning that makes our life together strong and lasting. homophobia and heterosexism do not always give us the best options when it comes to this practice.

"we are hoping that in the awful event that proposition 8 passes, our marriage will not be retroactively nullified. and therefore, affording us all the rights and benefits that married couples have in the state of california.

"we would love to share this moment with all of you, so please keep us in your thoughts tomorrow as we marry. please keep us in your thoughts when you vote on Tuesday. the best you can do for us is to vote NO on Proposition 8."

I think it is remarkable....

That they believe in their love this much that they will stand up against the ignorance of homophobia and heterosexism to have that love.

That consenting adults still have to fight for the right to love who they love. And that other entities will spend so much money and energy to stop other consenting adults they do not know from marrying each other.

That their marriage ceremony does not have the luxury of being planned with the time that a straight couple has to plan, and that it still risks being nullified if something as archaic as Prop 8 passes.


I am not getting married anytime soon to neither a man nor a woman. In fact, if you remember, I am married to myself and would love the government to recognize my marriage as a real legal binding contract. And on top of that, I am a pioneer in the fight for Gesbian rights and visibility.

I am working on the "No on 8" campaign because it affects my friends. It's about equality and that's something that we all should be concerned about. I am encouraging you to vote "No on 8" because discrimination should not be written into the constitution. (Leave that shit for reality TV!)

Labels: a shot at love with kristina wong, empowerment, feminist research, i'm kristina wong, Obama is hot, oh my god, sex is unnecessary when you have yarn.

I hit a grumpy moment when my cell phone charger conked out just a couple hours ago. It's inexplicably wet on the inside. I have no idea how. But it is. There's no puddle or leak in the cottage, it just stopped working and was all wet inside and plugged in nowhere near water. Nature most definitely has turned against me. First, it was my keyboard ($185 to restore the F key!). Now my phone charger. Next it will be... my other electric powered vices....

It's her way of saying, "Time to not have a cell phone for a few days and blog about your wedding which you never told your readers about."

The Wedding of Kristina and Kristina! June 4, 2008


Yes, it's true. I am married now as of June 4, 2008. Our ceremony was at the Merkato Ethiopian Restaurant in LA. And surprisingly, the first wedding ever to happen there. I even have changed my status on myspace and facebook to "married." It's serious. Who is the lucky guy, girl or tranny you ask? Me! Kristina Wong! I know, it was very sudden. But when you know someone is so right for you, you can't help but dive right in.

I vowed to love and cheerish myself forever. Unconditionally. I had some cold feet but thanks to the encouraging words of friends and an Ethiopian guy dining at the adjacent table, I am learning that love is ongoing. It is a process. It is "survived" (in the words of my poet friend Kelly Tsai).

The Wedding of Kristina and Kristina was officiated by Reverend Marcus Kuiland Nazario. My Man of Honor/ Ring Boy was Pete Lee. My friends and other restaurant patrons and staff were my witnesses.

Here are some highlights from the ceremony...


It is customary for the bride to spank her guests. My friend Yi, got me a riding crop as a wedding present!



At this wedding, we ate first! This is one of my favorite restaurants in LA. I always order the fish.



I asked friends to give to my favorite non-profits as part of my "gift registry." I did get some plants though! Here is a money plant from Daisy Lin Shapiro who did the "Yours Truly, Miss Chinatown" documentary that I am featured in.


There was a pretty funny moment when I got to the "altar" and looked both ways... and yep, nobody else was coming. Just me and me!



Reverend Marcus makes me look at my wife. Though this mirror looks like a birth control container.


Nurit, who directs a lot of my work, offered the advice of "not being so tough on Kristina when you get married to her."


My friend, Ellen Switkes said to not go to bed angry. What great advice. We really have listened to it.


My best friend Pete Lee offers some loving words of advice for the couple.


My ring was a plastic heart. "With this ring, I me wed." Of the ring I said, "This is the everlasting circle, and like the plastic this is made of, so our love last as long."

I also put on a necklace that had a jade pendant from my grandmother, and another jade pendant from my mother as symbols of the women before me and the love and nagging that fuel my spirit.



Cutting the wedding/ birthday cake. This was a red velvet one from Susie's. When I went to pick it up they were like, "You are buying your own birthday cake? How sad."

"No, not sad. Awesomely awesome," I said as I left.



Oh those crazy newlyweds feeding each other cake!


What's a wedding without a bouquet toss? This one was for men and women!


Shameka gets married next to herself!

WEDDING VIDEOS!!





My friend/ reverend Marcus officiates by offering his words of wisdom for the bride and bride. I also do my own vows.




Reverend Marcus leads the group vows. He's very creative.


So that's it. That's the report from married life. I am still learning the ropes of self-love being a Newlywed a month and a half later. It's hard to learn to live with someone forever... even if it is yourself. I actually do look over to my pink plastic wedding ring and feel what a lot of married people feel: "Wow, look at that, there's someone out there who is committed to loving me. And I'm with her all the time!"

Labels: a shot at love with kristina wong, marriage grown up crap, sex is unnecessary when you have yarn

Polygamist Tom Green and his wives.



Polygamist cult sect.
"All they talk about is how sacred their men are."



Polygamist cult sect.
"They were underaged girls. Many were much younger than the men."


"Trapped on the compound against their will."

Basically, the Mormon polygamist cult sect is like Flavor of Love with very bad fashion.

Labels: a shot at love with kristina wong, america makes me numb, reality tv, to catch a predator

This was a blog entry that I meant to post over the weekend. But here's my story about last Friday night.

AURGHH!!!!!!

Was it Ghandi or MLK who said "Practice non-violence?"

I agree for the most part with practicing non-violence but as of last night would like to request an edit...

"Practice non-violence. Except in the case of stupid, dumbass, exploited reality tv stars who are dumber than shit. In which case, it is ok to kick them in the balls repeatedly."

The workday week ends for Hollywood Wong. And what an odd week it's been. I am on the road so much that when I do get to spend whole chunks of time at home doing LA things. Like auditioning for tv shows and loafing about the Santa Monica Promenade.

Living in LA lately is like a reality show.

In January, I got a ride to LAX from two contestants of "The Pick Up Artist" only to get picked up by a real pick up artist in Miami.

And last night, my friend Mitsu and I were having dinner at this really bad frat boy-ish bar next to Old Navy on the Santa Monica Promenade and saw Ashley, one of the contestants from "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila" at the bar. He was the archetypal "dumb cowboy" kicked off for "falling for Tila too quickly" and started a fight that put him and another guy in the hospital.

Ashley said during the first episode, "I've never dated an Asian girl but I sure like Chinese food."

Yuck.



Yuckier.

MTV rewarded Ashley's violent behavior by putting him on a spinoff dating show "That's Amore" where the Italian guy, Domenico, who Tila eliminated, gets a chance to find his own American sweetheart. And Ashley is his dumb wingman hick of an American cultural informant.

Great, I'm really glad they are letting this guy near more women. And putting him in a position of authority.

Mitsu and I are watching Ashley at the bar. He's doing tequila shots and being boisterous like a guy who stars on a reality show and believes he has eclipsed the importance of the world.

And I'm thinking: This is so sad. He really is as stupid in real life as on television.

Of course, you cannot judge someone's intelligence by their behavior at a bar. If you tried to gauge my intelligence by my history of bar behavior... well...

So being the OPEN MINDED, trashy reality dating show obsessed uncredentialed anthropologist I am, I said, "Mitsu, let's sit closer by him so we can see what it is he talks about."

We pull up in the seats next to him and even without trying his friend starts introducing us. Ashley starts to throw his arms around Mitsu and says, "Come with us to the next bar. Let's party."

It was like a bad after school special, except if the actors were retarded.

I say, "No, we have to go. But good luck with your show and stuff." I'm totally polite and nice.

I turn around to leave and then it happens.

He grabs my ass!

I don't know about you. But if someone grabs my ass and I didn't ask or invite it, my instinct is to turn around and knee that doofus in the balls. Which I've done before (years ago) and that's exactly what I did in that moment.

I guess he's used to a lot of girls trying to kick him on the balls because on almost perfect reflexes he blocked my kick.

"Ha ha! You tried to kick me in the balls and you missed." And then he stood there laughing at how clever he was.

Honestly, if I did not see this guy beat the crap out of another contestant on Reality TV and got both of them sent to the hospital, I would have really fought back. I was so fuming mad and went back in for a second ball kick. And then a third.

Each time, he blocked me.

Mitsu had to pull me away because I was screaming, "Don't do that!! Don't ever do that!" and creating a bit of a scene.

And then in the parking lot I was screaming, "I should have slapped him! I should have really went for it! If he wasn't so big and wasn't around all those men, and didn't beat a guy up on reality tv, I would have KILLED HIM!"

It really sucks to feel so powerless around a stupid violent man.

Anyway, I'm over it. I watched Project Runway online and forgot how mad it made me.

What does this story say about men and women? Where are the nice respectful men in this world?

They aren't on TV, or Reality TV at least. Do they exist?




All I can say is. Thank you Ashley, for yanking out my lesbian side.

Labels: a shot at love with kristina wong

The Photoshop sham that is my headshot?

I just had a callback for the commercial I was "scouted" for. In my last post, I described being scouted for the role I was apparently born to play.

The role was a frumpy Chinese waitress with lots of pimples.

And it's been a funny story and all, but I can't help but think from people's reactions (veering more on the "Well that's Hollywood for you" rather than "What! You are gorgeous! You aren't frumpy and ugly Kristina!") that maybe I am a really really really ugly and horrible looking human being.

I mean, I was able to laugh it off AT FIRST, but I'm feeling from people's reactions, and this whole experience with these commercial auditions, coupled with enough bad awkward girl memories to fill a lifetime--- that maybe I really am that ugly looking person and have yet to embrace it.

And here I thought I was hot all these years. Here I had thought that I had a decent rack, nice body and a great smile. Was I wrong? Am I an ugly person?

As I drove back from the callback and looked at my reflection in the rearview mirror, I had the most horrible thought in the world.


This is the most horrible thought in the world...


"I am so ugly. I do not deserve to be loved."


Then one by one. I got flooded with more terrible thoughts and horrible memories. Maybe my mother was right when she told me as a kid that I should be on the radio, not TV. (She's long since taken that statement back, btw, and is fully supportive of my career.) Maybe I will die alone and unloved. Maybe I'll never be in a relationship again. Maybe my true calling is as the cat lady persona I keep mocking ironically. Maybe I should change careers and work in a dark room, alone, where nobody would have to look at me. Ever.

Because I am so hideously homely.


It's such a horrible feeling to look at yourself and feel like you can't be loved. Because everybody deserves love.

EVERYBODY. The frumpy and the pimply included. Do you hear me!? We all deserve love!!!

I shook myself out of this funk pretty quickly when I realized that there will always be someone who loves me.


"Hey! There's someone who no matter what, will cheerish and adore me!"

And that someone doesn't care if I have a frumpy day! Or get a pimple!

I smiled to myself in the mirror, that old familiar smile when I realized that someone in life does love me.

Who will always love me for who I am do you ask?


Gross and creepy old white men with large collections of Samurai swords, with a sizable Asian fetish, who jerk off to Asian porn and go on sex tour trips to Asia!

They will always find me beautiful and love me!

Yay for them! They will always love me. No matter how frumpy or pimply I get.

Come and get me fellas! Here I am!

Labels: a shot at love with kristina wong, cat lady, dying alone, hollywood wong, loser, losing my mind in los angeles, sex is unnecessary when you have yarn

I found this girl Mandy on VH1. She's like my twin!!! Or at least, I think she's adorable. Like me.

Labels: a shot at love with kristina wong, sex is unnecessary when you have yarn, Vh1

In considering the present degradation of mankind and the progress of the women's movement reversed in just one episode of Rock of Love 2 (Really Bret Michaels? You're giving the women coupons they can redeem to hang out with you? Really?! And why is that Katherine woman referred to as "old" when she is actually YOUR age?! Are you serious?)

AND seeing as that I'm addicted to these dating shows despite these infractions they have on my humanity, I've decided to jump into the degradation....

Network executives! I have a pitch that will be sure to increase your viewership among performance art aficionados, third wave feminist academics, and nasty old white pervies.

It's A Shot at Love with Kristina Wong!

Synopsis: 36 beautiful men and women (mostly Korean) ranging from ages 22-80 move into Kristina's 2 bedroom apartment in West LA for a chance to win the heart of this reclusive-yet-extroverted, neurotic-yet-sincere big bad Chinese cat lady. Each week, Kristina eliminates the unworthy, and those who remain will get a special crochet hook on a necklace ensuring another week in the apartment and the one ultimate shot at love with Kristina!

Week 1: Welcome to West LA!
All the contestants get off the Santa Monica Blue Bus and drag their luggage two blocks past the corner liquor store and the loitering homeless on Santa Monica Blvd to move into Kristina's apartment! The 36 all huddle into the living room where every imaginable sleeping area is claimed faster than you can say "Interdisciplinary Performance Artist!" Kristina rolls up in her pink benz to greet her future suitors in an outfit to die for-- A hand crocheted poncho! All Koreans who show up get a "use-whenever" coupon to hang out with Kristina and are automatically moved to the next round creating racial tension in the apartment.

After a night of mingling over orange juice and bottle water, Kristina picks a handful of the unlucky who will not make the next round.


Week 2: Who is oppressed? And who can comment on it ironically?

Challenge: To find out who can most identify with Kristina's work, she's set up a challenge that will really put them in her shoes. Using only fake blood, a roll of toilet paper, and butoh movement, the contestants must convey their inner legacies of oppression by creating an improvised performance art piece. Bonus points awarded to those who can be self-referential. The winners get to go on a special bike date with Kristina and buy her sushi.


Week 3: The Cat Lady Cometh

Challenge: What would you do for Kristina's love? In this challenge, massive piles of cat diarrhea and cat pee have been left in the apartment by Kristina's cat Oliver. And the contestants who clean up the most wins a date with Kristina at nearby Stoner Park for a vegetarian BBQ that they will cook for her.


Week 4: Grant me a Future

Challenge: Kristina needs help writing a high stakes Rockerfeller MAPP Grant that needs to be postmarked by midnight. So all the contestants get a shot at writing Kristina's grant. The strongest grantee wins a date with Kristina-- a shopping spree at Ross Dress for Less! But here's the challenge twist-- every two minutes, one of Kristina's friends will instant message with nothing important to say. Can they survive the online distractions, write the killer grant and get to the airport post office in time?


Week 5: Oil me up!
Challenge: Seeing as the price of vegetable oil has now climbed higher than that of gasoline, Kristina sends her contestants to the back alleys of some of LA's finest strip malls to find some fuel for her pink Benz. The contestants must pump and filter used cooking oil so that it is usable for driving. The one who returns with the most usable oil wins a date taking Kristina to the auto shop in Silverlake (where it was dropped off for yet another mechanical problem during the last episode) so she can actually put the fuel in her car.


Week 6: Can you tech Wong?

Challenge: This week's special guest judge is Jen, Kristina's theater technician that has toured with her on the road. Jen once teched Kristina's show from behind the scrim-- meaning she teched her show BLIND! Jen will do a crash course with the Wong-loving hopefuls on reading Kristina's scrawly handwriting and how to read Kristina's inconsistent stage cues. Jen will also offer tips on how to kick Kristina out of a pre or post show panic.

Whoever can best tech Kristina's show after this crash course wins a special date to see the Wooster Group at the REDCAT.

But here's the real twist-- they won't be teching the show in a theater but a cafeteria! Can they make it work?


Week 7: Oh the Yarns we Tangle

Challenge: Oh no! All of Kristina's yarn stash has come loose and tangled. Even her really nice Rowan yarn. The contestants must untangle and re-skein the yarn so she can knit it. The winning fiber untangler gets to go on a date with Kristina to Wildfiber, Kristina's favorite local
yarn store in Santa Monica.


Week 8: Guess Who's coming for dinner?

Challenge: The contestants are surprised when ex-Calvin Klein model and all over hot lesbian Jenny Shimizu shows up as surprise judge. Jenny grills the remaining hopefuls for their "creepy factor" screening out those with right-wing tendencies, lack of motivation, and an obscene collection of Japanese anime deemed as too creepy for Kristina's love.

Drama hits the house when Jenny starts to come onto Kristina. After Kristina and Jenny engage in intense lovemaking, walk arm-in-arm past all of Kristina's ex-boyfriends, and taking plenty of photo evidence to document it all, Kristina sends (heartbroken) Jenny on her way.


Week 9: Meet the Wongs
The remaining three contestants fly to San Francisco where they will meet Kristina's parents and extended family in what stands to be the greatest challenge yet-- gaining the Wong Family seal of approval. Who's FICA score is strong enough to withstand Mama Wong's credit check? Who will survive Papa Wong playing Whitney Houston's self-titled album on a loop for five straight hours?

Kristina eliminates one, and only two remain.

Week 10: Only One is Right for Wong
Kristina takes the final two for a special getaway. No, not Miami.... not Jamaica... not Hawaii. But Sawtelle Blvd, a few blocks from the West LA apartment! Exotic! Kristina springs for dinner at Yashima's where she worked as a hostess for a month after college (they still hook her up). There she asks the final two to put all their guns on the table and sing their best Karaoke renditions of a GnR song.

In a spectacular finale ceremony in Kristina's carport that involves battery powered Christmas lights and fake flowers bought on clearance-- the winner of Kristina's heart is revealed.

**********************

It's a sexy idea for a show isn't it? Yes, I thought you'd agree.

I'm going to cry now and brush my cat.

Labels: a shot at love with kristina wong, artist life., cat lady, cat pee, crafty, crochet, hollywood wong, losing my mind in los angeles, sex is unnecessary when you have yarn.