Brian Feldman will marry ANYONE! from Concrete Lion Pictures on Vimeo.

I take a break from the nauseating task of trying to buy a home in LA, to share with you the latest brilliant project of my friend Brian Feldman. You may remember him from an earlier blog post. He is indeed, Orlando's broker, balder and more brilliant version of David Blaine.

Brian is doing this week what a lot of my friends had joked about doing in the wake of same sex marriage rights being completely written out of state constitutions. Brian is exercising his power, no, HIS RIGHT, to marry a total stranger. And by stranger, I mean... a woman stranger...because you know, the law and all...

Brian agreed to marry any woman who showed up at the Orlando Courthouse at 3pm yesterday. Three women showed up. One woman with a baby strapped to her. So Brian picked his wife in the most sincere way possible, by spinning a water bottle. Then the lucky lady proceeded to fill out a marriage license with him. On Friday, Brian Feldman marries Hannah Miller. I don't know who she is and nor does he. Though apparently, she has a very understanding boyfriend.

If I had the time to fly to Florida and wasn't so desperately trying to preserve my FICO score in the wake of trying to buy a house here... I would have gotten myself hitched to that nice Jewish boy myself. Brian Feldman and I could have showed the world: Marriage is for fags.

But instead, I enjoy this nonsense from a distance. And so can you.

Labels: art talk, dying alone, marriage grown up crap

For those of you who wonder how my shows come together, here's how ADD turns into streamlined action from last Friday's rehearsal at UCLA where I'm an artist-in-residence at the HOTHOUSE residency for artists. I'm turning CAT LADY into a full length show!

Basically, I jam on a bunch of ideas, images, emotions and themes. I improvise scenes with trusted collaborators (this last week it's been with aerialist/ actor Kennedy Kabasares). I have props available for use in the improv. Write each idea or scene down separately on a card, even scenes that aren't written.

Next, I see if I can see a movement that the story might follow (this one for Cat Lady broke down into five convenient acts). Then organize all the cards in some kind of order along this act structure.

Viola! I have an outline!

Labels: art talk, cat lady

I totally found this online looking for clips of my other work.

Labels: art talk

Here's the review!

“Wong Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. Solo artist Kristina Wong unveils a string of imaginative surprises as she supposedly examines the high rates of depression and suicide among Asian American women. She darts around this grim subject with the kind of meta-theatrical wit that creates one of the funniest shows in town and engenders a level of audience participation that’s enthusiastic without becoming embarrassing. Then she ends with a sobering coda -- another kind of surprise after all the laughs. It’s a wild ride, and Wong’s a magnetically energizing artist. TeAda Productions is the host. Miles Playhouse, Santa Monica. (310) 998-8765. http://teada.org. Closes Oct. 5.”--- Don Shirley, LA City Beat


Today was kind of depressing. I was supposed to take the day off, but instead I moped around the apartment. Passed out for a few hours and woke up in my own drool contemplating the world's unreality.

The run is going well. We've had audience. We could stand to perhaps have a little more audience, especially in such a big theater. But the ones who've come are valuable and have been attentive.

I am grateful for many things about how the run has gone so far.

• Lots of people who don't know me are coming.
• The stage with all the lights is beautiful.
• There are all these volunteers helping behind the scenes so that I can be an artist.
  
• The reception was unreal... ("All this for me?")
  

Things I am hoping for.

• That friends who have known me for a while and have never seen my work, or at least have very poor assumptions of what my work looks like... will come to the show.
• That the company producing me will be able to break even with their investment in the show.
• That I might recuperate at least a small fraction of my financial investment in this show. (Right now, I will not make any money from this run. I'm actually losing money. :< )
• That I will actually inspire people to dialogue about depression and suicide.

Last week while chewing gum, part of my tooth broke off in my mouth. It was my molar, third from the back. And now I have a nice little hole for food to collect in. Like a built in holiday feeder in my mouth.

I've been calling all sorts of free clinics today to get help. I called the USC dentistry school who work on people but it is a very time consuming process. All the free clinics seem to have had budget cuts (ironically, the government is bailing out the fat cats but can't help me get a little cement put on this tooth back here.) The last time I had dental insurance three years ago, the guy told me I had to get a root canal and found $1500 in repairs in my mouth the half second I opened my mouth. Sounded like a big sham to me. Dentists have become salesmen. It's sad that I can't even trust a dentist these days.

I may break down and call a regular old LA dentist. I called my dentist uncle in San Francisco who I wouldn't be able to see for another month when I can get up there. But my gums are bleeding and it's a big mess back there right now because of the broken tooth. I just don't want to get screwed.

There's one section of my show about trying to get free mental health services in America. It's a process of searching that's liable to make you more crazy than before you started looking for help. It's not easy to get much of any kind of health services for free here in the "free world." But god forbid you ever get sick here because it will cost you.

My first year of college, I fell off my bunk bed. More remarkable, I wasn't even drunk. I limped around campus for a good week, moaning, howling in pain, moving at the third of the speed of a senior citizen. I had no idea if I had a simple sprain or had actually broken a bone. I had insurance then but was cautioned by my mother many times that using insurance would just drive up my rates. So even in the most pain of pain, I didn't think to use it.... even though it was getting impossible to function.

My roommates at the time, couldn't stand the howling any more and called the SHAs (student health advocates-- basically pre-med students) to come check on me. Seeing as they weren't really doctors, they just called the campus hospital for me. And I wailed with those EMTs screaming, "I don't care if this is broken! I can't pay for it! If the insurance co-pay doesn hurt me, my mother will kill me!"

But in some dramatic lift off, they wheeled me out of the dorm on a gurney, through a busy lobby of students. For some reason I chose to wear this Holly Hobbit dress that day and looked Britney Spears a la early 2008 as I was pulled out of there.

As it turns out nothing was broken. They bandaged me up. It still cost $100.

I stumbled home.

Labels: america makes me numb, art talk

Yet another photo that will keep me single for a long time...

Well, I've been spit out of a busy week. I'm happy to be back in LA. Sad to hear about Myanmar. And fighting off headaches that I get when I think about the "Austrian Incest Dad" case. Blech. But Obama is looking up and I've just mounted a big poster of him on foam core for my kitchen.


This weekend was really nuts.

On Saturday, I was performing as Fannie and Officer Macgillawongster on the Xin Lu Bus Tour (Ming Ma's Film Fest on wheels). The bus dropped us off at the DGA right when the Q&A for the sold out "Yours Truly, Miss Chinatown" documentary finished up.

Mind you, I have NOT seen the documentary yet. So there's no stranger experience than showing up AFTER a documentary screening where several years of your life have been edited by someone else and viewed by the public before you've seen it. Sure, I LIVED what they saw. But I am not sure exactly sure WHAT they saw.

It was unreal. Strangers were coming up to me, all wide eyed, like they had known me forever saying things like...

"Thank you so much for your honesty."

"Your story is incredible. Thank you."

"It was a great balance to have you in there."

"It's so great... about that grant." (You mean the one I got TWO years ago?)

And the kicker response.

"So... everything's ok now right Kristina? You are doing ok?"


And I'm like freaking out screaming, "Honest? What do you mean HONEST?!! And what 'story' did you all see??! And of course I'm ok! I'm doing great!"

Even friends who had known me forever are coming up to me with this love in their eyes. Like suddenly I've become more human to them.

"Oh, Kristina. That was amazing... You came off really well in it."

Why wouldn't I have come off well?!?!!

I am still freaked out to watch it. But from what I've heard, I am already getting a picture of what "story" everyone saw in the doc. And I seem to be pretty fun to watch. My folks also are interviewed in it and are apparently very funny down to earth seeming. So I am not sure what kind of editing magic Daisy did, but....

What's funny is that the current Miss Chinatown Court was there and instead of being all annoyed and confused by me as they have been in the past, they were all excited, "Oh hi!! Can we take a picture with you Kristina?!"

Ha! And one of the coordinators of the pageant who I've run into many time during my "crashings" gave me his card and we were on IM this morning and he sent me these pictures he took from after the screening. It was pretty funny. He was like, "Yeah, I remember the Chinese Chamber of Commerce were really upset with you." And I was like, "Yeah, but now you guys love me!"

People have seen me and I haven't met them or seen what they have seen of me.

It's all so post modern.

Labels: art talk, artist life, Fannie Wong, hot people, i'm kristina wong, is unnecessary when you have yarn.

I'm in a cafe in Williamsburg. I will miss it here. Even in all it's hipster obnoxiousness. This has been a fun time. I leave Wednesday.

I just had a meeting with a writer and tech geek who offered to help me re-design that 1999 beacon of bad HTML... www.bigbadchinesemama.com. He feels really ambitious that a new design with better features could bring life back to the project which has just sat in dusty college feminist studies memory. Looking at the site is painful. It's so ugly. It's like looking at old pictures of yourself with bad hair-- literally. I said to him, "Take it! And do with it what you will! I can't stand looking at it"

So I did well in my last show in Flushing. A great big audience of very receptive people. A somewhat intense Q&A (why must these audiences ask such personal questions?!!) that I think I handled with a lot more composure than in the past. And I had enough energy to spare to go to a craft fair in Greenpoint later that day. Crafts!!!

I think I described it best when I said to someone, "After a show, my brain is running on adrenaline, but I have no feeling or energy from the neck down. So I just lie awake in bed for 12 hours staring at what magazines I can prop in front of me."

I am like the boy in the bubble... or something.

I'm sure there were other important things to add to this update. But I can't remember them. I do know that the Salvation Army on Bedford Ave has some pretty damn good books. But I must exercise control.

Oh yeah, here's my last thing I want to mention. I gave money to a politician for the first time! I must really love this man. I sent Obama $30 this morning and he's going to send me a t-shirt!

Check it out...

Labels: art talk, artist life, crafty, new york city, Obama is hot

It's always so busy now that there's hardly the time to blog. Which makes me wonder what the hell I was doing with my time a few years ago that all I did was blog.

On Saturday, I finished BECAUSE, my 8 week multi-generational writing/performance workshop for women of color that I facilitate with an Artist-in-Residence Grant from the city. I was really proud of all 18 of my participants. They produced unique and amazing work. Sometimes I feel like I haven't done anything remarkable with my life. But when I think about the women that have been in my workshop, I feel very proud that I've had some impact on someone else.


Speaking of queer women of color... ha! WTF is with Tila Tequila and why can't I stop watching her train wreck of a show?

I'm so horrified but glued to this woman and her thin personality. I admire her business prowess but it confuses me. Is the only way a woman can get ahead from nothing is by posing in her bikini? What about people like me? My mother would never let me have my own paysite and pose in a bikini! Tila has an unfair advantage! Oprah and Martha Stewart never had to get to their skivvies. Perhaps that is some hope.

I wrote a sketch about Tila Tequila for the CBS showcase. It's a tough process. They have us write sketches and only 12 or so get used in the show. And it's been a few years since I've written sketches, let alone stage material for more than one performer! They estimate that 300 sketches are pitched. I think it's more like 100. Anyway. So I've only written this one Tila Tequila sketch and I was pretty proud of how it turned out. And it's amazing that a lot of my solo performer skills have translated ok to the sketch world. I was thinking since they are such tough cookies they wouldn't be into my Tila sketch but they actually thought it was pretty funny. I'm thinking it may not get used in January since her career will probably crash out by then and so will the buzz from her show. But I had a good time writing it. And now I need to churn out a dozen more.

It's pretty crazy going over to CBS with the big writer's strike. They are picketing all the networks. And as a SAG member we are encouraged to march with them in solidarity. It's a pretty bad time now for me to be getting this CBS showcase, because if things don't clear up, there won't be any shows to audition for when this is all over. I read that agents are already cutting down on staff and budgets and I can see that this is just beginning to really impact the economy nationally. Yay for horrible timing.

I always support people on strike. When the supermarkets were on strikes, I'd bring them food and water. But I've never had to cross a picket line, and in my car at that. I think the picketing writers were really confused at how I honked for them but also almost ran them over to get into the CBS lot.

So I'm really just getting ready for my show in SF this week. Cleaning out years of crap from the apartment. Listening to self help tapes. Thinking up sketch ideas. Trying to take over the world. Same shit as usual.

Labels: art talk, balance, hollywood wong

Last week I was feeling disgruntled for all the paperwork that seems to go into keeping me alive. On a quiet and lonely Saturday night, I was too exhausted to go out and enjoy the evening, and had too much work to finish to move.

Then I open my mail to find I got approved for a grant that will help me pay for a web designer, arts writer, and booking assistant for the next few months.

It was a very sweet moment to have. Alone in my apartment. On a Saturday night on an empty and growling stomach. Holding that acceptance letter.

I wrote this grant during my existential crisis this past summer. I recall it took me a whole week of moaning and groaning and a cup of tears to finish. I even drove to the airport post office to get it in by the postmark deadline.

By corporate standards it's a small amount I will receive, but it will do me so much good. I am not complaining at all. It's the absolute best investment I will make. And finally, I see the possibility of being a balanced artist again.

So if anyone is interested...I am hiring a booking assistant (preferably with experience in booking live theater) and an arts writer/publicist who can help sass up the writing on my website and marketing materials. There is pay! Send your resumes!

One of my students Saturday said, "Kristina I was reading your blog. It's so interesting to see how you've progressed over time."

Indeed. A few years ago I contemplated selling my underwear over the internet. I'd wake up every morning panicked and discouraged. It sucked.

Now I can take care of myself. And I bring in others to help me because there is so much abundance to manage. And it's a great feeling.

Thank you.

Labels: art talk, artist life., balance, empowerment, the secret

Found an open connection on my stopover in Kansas City.

I had to pay $25 at LAX because one of my bags was 60 pounds! I packed a ton of stuff. Including my computer printer.

Sorry for the week of silence. I started a blog entry and then got slammed with work and never got to update it.

This week has been crazy. I am landing in NYC later today where this month I'll be part of six shows, four of them will be Wong Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. The other two will be "The Edge of the World" with the Asian Arts Initiative. I'm there all month! Woo! Craziness. I'm subletting my friend's place near Hunter College.

June in New York! Should be fun, and a lot of work. I worked really hard earlier this year so that this month could be possible.

My birthday is on Monday. Colleen, my resident "brag-a-friend" as I call her, and coolest person I know in NY says she will hang out with me so I will not be totally alone on my birthday. I want to go to the MAD Museum during the day for the "Radical Knitting" exhibit and maybe eat a pizza at night. I don't have big plans.


Last minute this week I decided to hire Marjorie to be my "Community Outreach Coordinator" in New York. It was just too overwhelming to do the show and also deal with all the administrative details of putting up the show. She was so excited about coming out and being part of the festival. She just graduated from college and has never been to NY. She was like, "Kristina Wong-- You are like Oprah!" It was funny. I hope she learns a lot, does a great job, and one day brings her own solo show to the festival.

Doing a show in New York is a big deal. And I hope I can really do a bang up job like I did my closing night in LA. I'm putting a lot of energy, moolah, etc into this. I hope it all pays off.

And I hope I have a good time doing it.

Labels: art talk, new york city

I just got off the phone with Pearl J Park, a filmmaker in NYC who is doing a documentary on depression among APAs. She was interested in shooting the show in NY for her doc. I found myself getting into the old familiar rant that I've been getting into lately about how much I hate Q&As, how I resent being a "spokesperson" for all things traumatic and suicidal, how I resent being the "go-to" girl when you need to talk to someone "authentically mentally ill".

Poor woman had to listen to me ranting about this. Poor me had to rant.

Also my dear readers, I don't know if you are listening out there, but here I go again, screaming into the sky. I really appreciate your support, but please know I am DONE with adding new parts of the show. I don't need to talk to any more depressed people. I don't need to read any more articles. And I don't need to be forwarded anything anymore. I appreciate you volunteering information to me. But I'm DONE.

PLEASE STOP SENDING ME ARTICLES, RECOMMENDATION ON DEPRESSED PEOPLE TO TALK TO, AND RECOMMENDATIONS FOR NEW SECTIONS ON THE SHOW.

AND NO. I'M NOT GOING TO DO A SHOW ABOUT ASIAN MEN AND DEPRESSION.

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!

One thing Pearl said on the phone is how important it is to protect our vision as artists and to protect ourselves. I look back at the last year of putting this show together and feel like the community has metaphorically raped me. I know... this is an extreme thing to say. But I feel like very few people in their interest in their show actually cared about what my artistic vision was, and instead have pushed their agenda on me to enact. I especially felt raped by my audience during my Q&As in the Bay Area. There I was up onstage, letting myself be vulnerable and miscontextualized. Being asked to expose my most private parts. And unable to say no or stop it. It was horrible.

I don't ever want that to happen again.

I was asked once to be on a radio show where the topic would be depression and suicide among APAs. I said I was happy to come on and talk about my show and the tricky process of trying to make it. But they wanted me to come on as an "authentically suicidal woman" and talk about my non-existent "experiences of being suicidal." NO THANKS! I'm not going to even begin to tell you how annoying and wrong that was.

Nurit, my director said, "You know, you get those questions, because you invite people to invade you like that. If you don't want that to happen, then don't do the Q&A."

Leilani suggested that we put cards in the program and feedback can be written in those cards instead of asked during the Q&A.

I really feel it time to put my foot down. So from here on out. No more Q&As. We are scrapping the Q&A in LA. There's no reason for them. I get nothing from them but grief. I'm totally incoherent during them. I'll do them at schools, if they want them to be done and if there are enough moderators present. But no more fielding questions from people that serve no purpose but to agitate me.

***

And now... onto other less agitated news.


The folks at Lunapads found my blog and invited me especially to enter their commercial contest. I put this together in an hour.



I think I got a good shot of winning since there were only 6 entries.

I will win more cloth pads if I am picked. Yay.



My friend Alex in London did a response video. Ironically, his has more views than mine.


Now I have to go meditate because I'm agitated.

Labels: art talk, artist life., lunapads, moon, vision

I got into Chicago from Philly this morning after staying up all night. Sleepwalked to a cab, got dropped off at Anida's at 7am and passed out for a few hours on her couch.

Now I'm at a cafe and already gearing up for going home. This Friday I'm finally home! Tomorrow I do excerpts of my work at DePaul and show some stuff on DVD. And also while out here I'll be checking out some male strip clubs for a travel article for Playgirl. We are going to a place called "The Lucky Horseshoe" tomorrow-- it's free to get in and features tons of hot male strippers.

I make a living talking about being crazy and looking and writing about dong. It's a wonderful and funny life. While other people are trading stocks and making companies merge, I am on Anida's couch on my cell phone asking club owners, "So are the guys all naked or do they wear thongs?"

So what was great about the three day stint in Philly was I got to work with all these amazing artists that I normally don't get the chance to work with (especially since I work solo so much of the time). It was incredible. We worked together for 24 hours and created a full length show. A GOOD SHOW, in that time. We will put up again in June in New York.

I realized so much that I want to change about my life as an artist after having the inspiring experience last weekend of creating work for the fun of it.

* I need to create more. I need to find more time to do my work and work out creatively. Not just creating huge big projects to tour and "sell" but small stuff for myself and my own creative growth.
* I need to extricate myself from so many discussions about the "business" or "politics" of the art world. A few conversations are ok. But after a while, talking about it at length is draining and unfun. And somebody is always unsatisfied with someone else in the art world. So no need blabbing about it at length.
* I need to "diversify my portfolio" as an artist. Have a bigger arsenal of things that I can do as an artist and human being. This means taking more classes in different arenas, reading more books, and getting better at doing different things.
* I need to find more time for me and more time for my friends. Rewards are great.

I've decided that when I am back in LA I'm going to reward myself with morning bike rides to the beach, a facial and massage, and spend some days doing nothing but watching TV and crafting. My friend Traci and I were even talking about taking a pole dance class together!

The free time isn't going to last too long. And it seems I don't have much of it. I have some TV show pitches to follow up with, shows in LA and NY to put up, more grants to write, and my site is going in for a massive redesign.

But...It's so important as artists to remember the importance of making a life, not just a living.

BALANCE. BALANCE. BALANCE.

Labels: art talk, balance, male nude revues, playgirl