My friend Marc Norberg took these pictures of me in Minneapolis before I left in May.

Last Friday I did a performance... an homage to one year of being broken up with car ownership. I held a picture of Harold up to the crowd and like a jilted ex-girlfriend choked through fake tears about how much I tried to make it work with him, but he was such an old mess (at 27) he just let me down time and time again. He was also a money pit and a girl like me deserves better than having to give so much of my hard earned money to a useless piece of shit. I want to fall in love with a car again (maybe a nice Japanese model, from a good factory) but am scared of getting hurt.

This Friday I do another performance with slides on an old Kodak carousel where I'll tell more stories of well intended green living that blew up (literally!) in my face.

There's one thing the carless thing has really been showing me about this city-- it's really big and really spread out and there's a whole lotta stuff in it. This morning, I caught a ride (via Facebook update) to an audition with the editor of my concert film, Tina. I caught a ride back with this guy from Craigslist (nah, don't worry, I sussed it out, it was safe) who I bought a new laptop from. I'm enjoying these free rides about town which come as fast as texting "Need a ride from Silverlake to Weho, call me if you're going that way") on my phone. Finally, I put my 1400+ Facebook friends to use as a private car service!

What I'm really seeing is a glimpse of people's lives. On their routes of life, I am a fly on the wall (or passenger in their car).

I finally got to meet my friend Rena's two daughters when she beckoned my facebook call and drove me to the beach. she put down the back seat of her SUV up for me and I sat behind her kids. I'm thinking now, that the friends I always say I want to catch up with, I may only be able to catch up with IN TRANSIT!

Labels: i'm kristina wong, The Wong Sans Wheels Chronicles

I am trying to reduce the contents of my apartment by one-half. It's supposed to be good feng shui, especially for attracting a partner into your life. It also helps align your life for the next great moment. And I need this. I'm not purging to attract a partner though, I'm purging to clean this freaking place up! Yikes! Seven years in West LA yields a lot of crap! I sure have a knack for accumulation.

I am also trying to liquidate assets I do not need. My goal is to come up with $1000 for liquidating my existing assets, and invest that money directly into my friend's restaurant. Her lenders get an excellent return rate (8% !) and that is much more stable than the stock market.

I signed up for Scottrade a few weeks back. I've already lost $70. Screw that crap. Now I know how the Baby Boomers feel, the stock market is unnecessarily emotional. I much prefer investing in something I understand (my friend's restaurant) than these nameless faceless companies.

So purging and money making. So far... I've made $222. It was kind of sad to say good bye to my rollerskates, my dancer pole, and other things that have been unused fixtures in my closets. But if they found their way into my home once, they will find their way in again (when I want them to come in). And I am really loving how the place feels with less crap in it. And yes, it's actually a lot of work for very little money, but it reminds me how hard it is to make a buck from selling your old crap.

I decided today to post 100 items online between Craigslist and Amazon.com. (And yes, sadly, I have even more items to shed). And each time something sells, I will find something else to sell. So that at all times I am poised to move 100 items out of this place at a time. It took forever. But once I started to post items up, I was hooked.

By the way, now Craigslist is a lot easier to use because you have to have an account to sell. And reposting a listing is easier.

Now whether or not people would buy any of the things I've posted remains to be seen...

Join me in the great purge! Find 100 things in your home that you would be willing to give up.

Labels: artist life., buy nothing year, i'm kristina wong, marriage grown up crap, The New Tweens

My awesome trans friend Riku commented that this has been the gayest week of my life. And more awesome than that, he said that I may have actually "out-gayed" our gay as hell friend D'lo this week.

It really has. I was out campaigning for "No on Prop 8" on Wednesday. It had been a while since I stood out on the street with a sign rallying. And yesterday, I coordinated "Kristina's Lesbian Jamboree." It was a gathering of lesbians and their friends in West Hollywood. It was about getting the married lesbians out of the house. Introducing my lesbian friends to each other. And also building some awareness around "No on Prop 8."

And oddly enough, for a gathering of Lesbians, it was not that dramatic.

I still struggle with pinning my "orientation" down to any one word. And though many speculated that I may have definitely been bi- or bi-curious when I rode my bicycle with the "Dykes on Bikes" at Pride a couple years back, I was still mums about how it is I identify myself.

But I've decided this week to come out of the closet.

Ladies and Germs, I am a loud and proud Gesbian.

I know this may come to a surprise to all of you. Particularly, this may be hard on my family who like my friends, are still trying to figure out what a "Gesbian" is. (I want my family to know that I love them and that I would never do this to hurt them.) I'm sure my family and friends are worried about me-- getting "Gesbian bashed," being discriminated against for being a "Gezzie," and will I have the right to marry another Gesbian? Could I have kids with another Gezzie?

I'm ready for the scorn, the discrimination, the Gesbiphobia. Because this is who I am. And I refuse to be someone else. I've hidden it for so long. But at my core, I'm a GESBIAN.

Last night my two good girlfriends who are partnered and are absolutely meant for each other sent a late night email that they are getting married today at City Hall. I think if they had the choice they would have waited to plan their wedding more at their pace. But right now, they don't know if they will have the choice after November 4. So they are rushing to do this.

I cry now as I re-read their words and the passion behind them.

"those of you who are closest to us know how much we care for and love one another and most of you understand the commitment we continue to make in our "practice" of lifelong love. it is not a magical something that just appears, even when it feels magical. it is the practice of committing and trying and learning that makes our life together strong and lasting. homophobia and heterosexism do not always give us the best options when it comes to this practice.

"we are hoping that in the awful event that proposition 8 passes, our marriage will not be retroactively nullified. and therefore, affording us all the rights and benefits that married couples have in the state of california.

"we would love to share this moment with all of you, so please keep us in your thoughts tomorrow as we marry. please keep us in your thoughts when you vote on Tuesday. the best you can do for us is to vote NO on Proposition 8."

I think it is remarkable....

That they believe in their love this much that they will stand up against the ignorance of homophobia and heterosexism to have that love.

That consenting adults still have to fight for the right to love who they love. And that other entities will spend so much money and energy to stop other consenting adults they do not know from marrying each other.

That their marriage ceremony does not have the luxury of being planned with the time that a straight couple has to plan, and that it still risks being nullified if something as archaic as Prop 8 passes.


I am not getting married anytime soon to neither a man nor a woman. In fact, if you remember, I am married to myself and would love the government to recognize my marriage as a real legal binding contract. And on top of that, I am a pioneer in the fight for Gesbian rights and visibility.

I am working on the "No on 8" campaign because it affects my friends. It's about equality and that's something that we all should be concerned about. I am encouraging you to vote "No on 8" because discrimination should not be written into the constitution. (Leave that shit for reality TV!)

Labels: a shot at love with kristina wong, empowerment, feminist research, i'm kristina wong, Obama is hot, oh my god, sex is unnecessary when you have yarn.

Yet again, the economy has interrupted any semblance of normal sleep patterns to bring me....

THOUGHTS ABOUT HOW I SHALL RETIRE! AND MAKE MONEY IN THE AILING STOCK/ HOUSING MARKET!

How is it I am becoming my parents? I never thought I'd be obsessed with things like retirement and the stock market. I always figured if I got old and had no savings that I'd do background work in movies because old people doing extra work seems to be in really high demand-- at least now it does. That, or I'd do the equivalent of what the 70+ year old Thai Elvis does at Palms Thai Restaurant in Hollywood-- dress up as "Chinese Barbara Streisand" and sing standards at a Chinese restaurant in my olden years. I guess by the time I am old, movie studios will figure out how to CGI background actors into scenes so we will be totally unnecessary. For this Brave New World-- I must be prepared!

Somehow, as of late, I've turned the corner and there it was ahead of me... the great beyond of living up your artsy 20s comes the realities of getting older. And the scary realities of what this economy is doing to the market for artists. I have a few engagements coming up, but nothing like what it used to be. Playgirl has folded. My friends can't even budget enough to go out for a beer, let alone live theater. More dates are going dutch on this classy broad than I think necessary.

So rather than drown, I choose flight. Who is coming with me?

I'll always be an artist, AND I will always be a financially savvy one. I have long since rejected labels like "starving artist," "struggling artist" or "poor artist." Because the more you let people call you that (and the more you call yourself that), the more you become it.

At the same time, "living rich" doesn't mean you should blow your savings at the bar, or outspend your means because you "deserve it." I see this happen so much. I have friends who are drowning in debt, or worse, filing for bankruptcy in their 20s and 30s.

For a half second, when I was tired of writing grants, I contemplated marrying into wealth by going on Bravo's "The Millionaire Matchmaker"-- but there ain't no free lunch sisters. That show is so sad. All these millionaires dating out of work actresses with no sense of identity. All these women desperately clawing towards these douches.

Listen to me! I am married to myself! Women need to learn to take care of themselves without the help of men. Yes, and we must learn to take care of the family with only a little, if any, of their help. We must have our own backs. It sucks, but we must do it!

The scary thing is in my last few relationships, I've been the "rich" one... WTF?!

I'm reading all sorts of wikihow articles on how the stock market works, how to be rich, and how to invest.
Here are some interesting things from the how to be rich article.

• Cut expenses
• Get a job that pays more or get a promotion
• Downgrade or give up your car
• Downgrade your apartment or house
• Reallocate your spare time

Well, I got the give up your car thing! Now I must work on the other four.

See you at the country club! I'll be arriving by bus!

Labels: artist life, hollywood wong, i'm kristina wong, marriage grown up crap, oh my god, outsourcing american jobs, property mogul

In all my madness of getting ready for my upcoming 3 week run of Wong Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest in Los Angeles. (Btw, did you get your tickets yet?), I totally didn't realize that BigBadChineseMama.com (the once cutting edge for a fake porn site that I built way back when in college) had gone in for a redesign thanks to Steve at Asianloop.com. I really appreciate that he fixed it up for me! I had no motivation to.

New features....

* Submit yourself as a bride!
* More faux porn layout

It still needs a lot of rewriting and work. But it's up and that's where we'll start.

In other news, I am going to be a bridesmaid this winter in my friend Chay's wedding. Yay! A chance to participate in the world of hetero normativity within close proximity! I was a bridesmaid before for my friend's Mormon wedding, but because I was not Mormon could only show up at the reception with a wine colored skirt on and my offensive arms showing.

I was also asked to MC my friends, Mike and Nancy's wedding. That was cool. I wrote jokes and stuff for them that were too brilliant for the masses to understand. This time, I get to actually walk in the ceremony. I will forever be part of Chay's wedding memories! GASP!

Chay brought me a brochure of different bridesmaid dresses to choose from. I was a bit disappointed that there were no pop-up collars, sequins, gorgeously tacky bell sleeves, rip-away pants, or hoop skirts in any of the selections. But I will make due. I'm supposed to walk with her future brother-in-law (who's single and hot with a JOB, btw) down the aisle or something hetero-normative, pseudo marriage-ish like that.

I already told Chay I'm not going to be able to do this wedding stuff with a straight face or without mugging for the camera the whole time. And that if her future bro-in-law is as hot as he is in his pics, I'll probably just park my ass at the altar when we get there and scream, "My turn! My turn!" She said I can work my antics out during the rehearsal. I told her the rehearsal will only make my behavior at her wedding worse. I also volunteered to be the entertainment and introduce the families. Do a table dance, drinking contest.... you know, whatever it is these normal straight people do at these wedding things...

What can I say? I am the Wong.

Labels: artist life, i'm kristina wong, marriage grown up crap, uck you

This update is dedicated to all the great findings here in the last days of my residency.



My new fishing buddy Aaron is perhaps the youngest living male in the City of Englewood at the ripe age of 27. Too bad I'm married huh? This is the snook he caught this morning. Because they are protected (spawning season), he threw it back.



Here's a snapper we caught! A bit small but still good to eat! It was the first fish that I have eaten straight from the water. I don't know why Aaron's shorts look like they are falling down like that in this picture. I don't remember them doing that in real life. (Oh the mockery of this cat lady. Oh the mockery.)



But boy, do I love having all these adventures with my wife! She's so much fun!


But it was no easy task to clean a fish! Yuck! Check out this video of him cleaning the fish.... That thing wouldn't die!





Before cooking....



After! The snapper was actually very small and very bony. So we got all of two bites of fish in each filet.



I'm still kinda crap as a fisherwoman. My new show, CAT LADY that premieres next week uses a lot of fishing (a great way to excuse all this leisure time as "research"). Here is some once live bait I used that got a huge bite on it's side. I'm all bait and no bite I tell you.




We also got a great full moon sunset out here where the tide was so low that sand dunes appeared. Places where the water normally goes to your waist or higher, you could walk right through.


Watch as I narrate the sunset. On full moon nights there is a rare burst of green light that appears when the sun goes down. You can't see it in the video but it's still gorgeous to take in everything else you can get from the video.





See how low the water gets?


I thought this was a good picture of Sonja doing what she does best. Photography!

Later that full moon night we went looking for sea turtles laying eggs. We thought it best to split up and each patrol in a different direction. I saw two fresh sea turtle nests and Sonja saw one. But we didn't see the turtles. It's nuts because they lay eggs in holes that they make at least 18 inches deep and then they cover them before going back to the water. So they must have worked fast because we totally missed them. I think I saw a turtle as she was leaving the nest she made. I think I saw her back as she disappeared in the tide.




This is what a fresh sea turtle nest looks like! You can see two sets of tracks (one going from the water, and one going back to the water). The little mound is where the turtle dug, laid, and buried her eggs.



In the morning, Sonja and I woke up super early to watch the sea turtle patrol dig up nests that were past gestation. The patrol is made up of cool volunteers who dig up nests, then count the numbers of non-viable eggs and hatched eggs. They also keep track and protect the area around new eggs. Sometimes they find live or dead baby turtles in the nests they dig up.




Here are the eggs they dug up. A lot were not good, but the ones that still might hatch are reburied closer to the surface where they will get more heat and the babies will have an easier time digging their way out.


When a new nest is discovered by the patrol, the nest is marked by a stake that records the nest number, date of laying, and the initials of the people patrolling. This is the nest Sonja found the night before. The "KW" is yours truly!


Here are two geckos, mocking me with their lovemaking.

Here is a video I made of them. It's not very clever. And moves as much as the above photo. Gecko penises are red btw.



Sonja knows how to handle my camera better than me. Here I am in the gulf with the Hermitage House behind me. Today the water was so clear we could see our feet at the bottom.



I also have made a lot of crafts while here. The local wildlife has inspired a lot of new animal shapes.



If my fishing skills suck, at least I can improvise!



Here is a dead mouse I'm using in Cat Lady.


And of course! Sea turtles! If I can't spot them live, I can at least make them. This is for the woman who nominated me to come here.



Come on, you know you want to see another sunset photo! It feels like every sunset is so different here.

Labels: artist life., cat lady, cat pee, crafty, hot people, i'm kristina wong, oh my god, rednecks, road wong, sex is unnecessary when you have yarn, the secret, vision

I know I must seem annoyingly utopic to read, especially if you are at your day job when you read my blog and I'm here on the beach being artsy.

"Damn that Kristina Wong for getting to go to Florida to be an artist."

I'm sad it will be over soon, I will have to head back to LA in less than two weeks, and I have to go back to my life of squeezing creative time between administrative errands that afford me the creative space. When I return, I am committed to changing my habits so that I really make more creative space in my life and don't get drowned in the particulars.

Add to my new crack-like addictions (which already included crafts, knitting, bikes and VH1)--- my new addiction to CNN. CNN is much easier on the eyes with Obama running for office. But watching so much CNN can cause panic about the future.

How am I going to fuel my vegetable oil car!? How will I survive this economy? How will I afford to eat if we run out of food? What about Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae and Indymac?!?! What will I do if the arts world dries up and there is no more milk for this little kitty to lap?

PANIC PANIC PANIC!!!

No friends, we can't panic. We just can't. I don't know what the answers to all this crap of the world are... BUT we must have vision and look at the future and be creative and say, "How can we find ways to still be happy and enjoy ourselves in the midst of this panic?"

For me, I like to sew things. And it makes me happy. And I've gotten to read a lot of books. I'm also reading a book my friend Danielle gave me many years ago called "Succulent Wild Woman" by Sark. Sark talks about learning to live with and without money. And not letting your money define your identity. She talks about how women should get married to themselves (sound familiar?) and having tea parties for other great women.

The other artist here Sonja and I have become great friends. She's my best friend here besides Bruce the director of the Hermitage. Yes, there are just three people here. And I love them.

Sonja wrote a nice blog about me.

Little things are great things that make life great. So don't be scared of the future Kristina, you can handle anything!

Labels: crafty, i'm kristina wong, road wong, the secret, vacation?, veggie oil car, vision



look what i have!!!

Labels: drunk white people, i'm kristina wong, road wong

Hey riends, my f key is still out, so this update is mostly video and pictures.


Kristina Wong-- Fishing with Crackers Videoblog 7/5/08 from kristina wong on Vimeo.
Summing up my day with the redneck dad I never had.


Me showing my rod.


This is what I almost caught except like mine was over two feet long.


Another snook.


Iguana under the house.


This is Larry, my redneck Daddy, casting a net.


An unpublished videoblog from last week.


The Fireworks at the Beach! Right where I am staying.


Shark teeth that are ancient and wash up on the beach. There is also a manatee rib.


A guy caught a shark at sundown. A little baby.


But too small.


I am so lucky.


Yeah.

Labels: artist life, i'm kristina wong, moon, road wong, The New Tweens, the secret, uck you, vision

Oh, that was a bad idea to drink all that wine by myself.  I am here with crackers (the kind you eat, not the kind that live in Florida) trying to make this headache go away.

Labels: artist life, i'm kristina wong, marriage grown up crap, rednecks, road wong

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kristina_wong

Can a blip on the cultural world named Kristina Wong even last on wikipedia for more than a week?

Btw, looking up your colleagues and mentors on wikipedia is a surefire way to feel under accomplished and old. I was knee deep in colleague stalking and just about to seep into that horrible place in my head called "wah wah wah, my past! my past!" when the UPS truck rolls up to the beach house and they drop off this awesome gift basket from my friends Mike and Nancy.



Just in time! I am loved. I am living the good life. And I'm looking forward to having my own little picnic by the sea. Who will join me?

Labels: i'm kristina wong

That would be me on the Jumbotron....

I'm back in Florida at the beach house after spending the night on a red eye flight. I got in this morning. Can I say that the neck pillow ranks as one of the world's best inventions? I slept so much better with the neck pillow than on the flight to LA where my bobbing neck almost snapped in half trying to sleep!

Well, my weekend was unreal. I went from running among the geckos on this Florida island, to speaking at Pauley Pavilion(!!) to UCLA's Commencement for the Department of English! It was a little weird to come back to the big city life that this retreat was meant to be an escape from... to be driving my car (which btw, I am so happy to leave parked for the next five weeks... far away from the gas crisis) and to be amongst, of all things.... people! And lots of them!

There were many things that were unreal about the whole thing. I thought it best to sum up the experience in a videoblog below.

My commencement speech experience on videoblog!


Untitled from kristina wong on Vimeo.

After recording this, I realized I am totally dressed inappropriately for the video blog. Maybe I could have slapped on some make-up or worn more clothes... but it's freaking hot outside! What do you expect? Screw it! You get me in the raw! And you get to see my granny panties coming out of my shorts in the beginning. SIGH.


Check out the dolphin sleeves they gave me on this gown. I was actually able to use them to store my speech and blackberry. (Perhaps storage is really what they are for?) I think I was the only one at this commencement wearing plastic jewelry.


What a great Father's Day gift for my dad to be able to bring him back to my old college campus and have him hear me speak at commencement! I was so proud to give him that moment.



They had an old bio for me and introduced me as "Kristina Wong is a Performance Artist." I almost wanted to laugh at how weird that sounded. And I am sure they did too.

"Yes, that's right. You heard the man. I'm a performance artist. Quit laughing."




Here I am standing among the Harry Potter people.


Hmmm.... It's not really the 99 seat theater I'm used to.


Seeing as how many people were there, maybe I should I have worked in a pitch to get people into my "multilevel marketing scheme."

"Now if you can get three friends, to get three friends...."

Labels: artist life, i'm kristina wong, toastmaster wong, vision

When I was a lil' girl, I imagined having a big beach house to live in. Steps from the sand. And now, that dream is true... well... for at least six weeks. This is one of those summers where life looks the way I've always wanted it to be.

That's right kids. A year and half ago, I got a mysterious letter in the mail saying I had been nominated for the Hermitage Artists Retreat on the Manasota Key off of Englewood, FL. I was nominated by one of their board members. I cried when I got the letter because pretty much the letter said that without an application or particular project, that the space and time to create was mine if I wanted it. The pictures of this mysterious retreat were breathtaking. It's pretty much the MacArthur of artist retreats-- well... in that unsolicited gifts from heaven kinda way..


That would be my house behind the palm trees.


That would be my backyard.


The view from my office/ writing room.


The steps out the door.


There are big seashells washed up on the shore.


RESPECT.

It's amazing to be here. It's my first day here and I feel like I've been here for two weeks. I am also the only artist here. The next artist doesn't come until July. So I've got this two bedroom cottage to myself and have my run of the kitchen, living room and big house on my own. I hope that time continues to stretch like this so I can make progress on the book. And there's absolutely no commerce on this key. I have no car. And if there are any singles out here, they are all over 65 years old.

It's going to be a ripe environment to get work done.

I also saw an iguana today on the walk back to the beach. It was funny because I was like, "AAGH!" I thought it was like a mini dinosaur. I want to get a book about the animal, flora and fauna in Florida so that I can stop referring to things in terms in of TV shows. ("Oh wow, those cottages are like the ones on LOST.")

*******
And just in the last few days, I was in Minneapolis, MN for the Asian American Theater Conference. More on my fake panel later. But here are my fun tourist pictures.


Paul Bunyan mini golf at the Walker Art Center.


Sticking it to the man at the Mall of America theme park ride by not paying for their photos, but instead taking a picture of their picture of me on the screen.



Cheese bras with my friend Sam.



Cheese hats.

Some random kid I picked up and photo'd with at the airport.

Labels: artist life, balance, i'm kristina wong, road wong, winnings