The Highest Highs, The Lowest Lows

So I went from being the big Kahuna in Miami to being the doormat du jour in Los Angeles. The CBS showcase is Tuesday and I swear it's crushing my soul. I appear in one sketch (even my one liner role as Ming the Burmese handjob giver was cut). I never remember theater being so cut-throat. It truly is a business. I don't regret the experience of the showcase and it really is thickening my skin.

During yesterday's rehearsal I had the following thoughts. Like really, I had these thoughts...

* "Where can I buy drugs like coke?"
* "Maybe I should call my sex worker friend and see how I can get into her line of work."
* "Is the bar in my closet high enough to hang myself from?"

I also called my hypnotherapist friend during the rehearsal to schedule an emergency appointment. I've never tried hypnotherapy, but right now I need all the magic fairy dust I can get to maintain my sanity.

I was also caught trying to poke my eyes out with my own finger during the rehearsal.

If anything, I am really understanding how important it is that I do my own work and how lucky I am that if this acting stuff never pans out, I will always have performance art to lean on (how freaking strange is that?!). And as much as I want to retire from performance art and make tons of money in ONE city rather than roam the globe for pennies, at least I have my own artistic vision at the end of the day.

My friend, the famous playwright Alice Tuan said that she felt my blogs made it seems like my life was really charmed and easy-ish. Which is so crazy because despite the perks, my life is totally insanely crazy. It was really good seeing Alice last night after the monster day with CBS. I cried and cried and then we laughed together.

Anyway, I've been up looking at my press from Miami. Check it.

Miami New Times
(Yet again, I find another opportunity to call out the Korean Pick Up artist like the psycho freak bitch I am.)


Anyway, so I'm planning to go to church today. I need to pray. I don't care what god. I just need to pray.



I also seem to be on Miami time still. As I'm blogging at 5am and going to bed at 9pm.

I got one foot out the door....

Still getting everything together for my big residency in Miami! I can't believe I get to start the year out like this.


So far... no video marriage proposals from my last videoblog. But I did get a comment saying this....

"ya know, you're kind of sexy. lol. i'll marry u. i mean u have great natural beauty, but i was just love to see u in something sexy (short and tight, lol), with a little make-up, and in serious mode. that would be very interesting. i'll be sure to keep the lotion near by should u decide to make a video like that. lol. happy new year!"


Blech. The Wong don't get sexy for nobody.


Well, at least this flyer makes me excited!


With more street cred than you can shake a pair of Hammer pants at, Kristina Wong makes her Miami debut riffing on notions of freedom in times that would make Joe McCarthy gasp. Excerpts include a satirical homage to "save the world in five minutes" spoken word, a Flashdance tribute, and an explanation (or un-explanation) of why she prefers life in the almighty closet. Bidding paddles will be provided for a live auction of gentrified neighborhoods. Adding an interactive element, Kristina will select a group of South Floridians to perform in one segment alongside her.


Miami Light Project
presents
Kristina Wong
Free?
January 16, 2008, 8:00pm
Colony Theater
1040 Lincoln Road, Miami Beach, Fl 33139
Tickets $25.00
For tickets call Ticketmaster at 305.358.5885
or visit www.miamilightproject.com

New Year, New Ramblings.

Aw, so far, it's been a great year. I spent it with friends and laughed a lot more than yesterday when I was lying in bed freaking out about how I'm going to pull off the next three weeks. And then the next three weeks after that... and after that...

I'm taking matters into my own hands and am asking folks to start proposing to me via youtube. Men, women, children, animals.... No marriage proposal too scary or flippant. We must send the energy waves my way so that I will be married to a rich oil tycoon by the end of the year and can retire from performance art to become a lady of leisure.

And guess what! My "Buy Nothing Year" is finally over! Can you believe I went all of 2007 without buying new clothes or non-perishable gifts? It wasn't that hard, but I did stave off temptation on more than a few occasions. Now.... Let me at the mall! I got an economy to feed!

Golden Showers bring No Flowers

Well, so since this morning it's all kind of sinking downhill and out of my control. I get my first golden shower ever, and it's from my cat. And then the day just dwindles into total unproductivity as I follow my cat around the apartment to make sure he won't have another accident. I'm so sick and tired of this cat. As I was lifting sheets off the bed I could smell some OLD pee smell from some other blankets. I feel like some wretched monster lady and I know I'm not.

This is the thing, my apartment is pretty tidy. It is! Ever since I started working with a housekeeper. When it was messy, he didn't have accidents like this. I feel like I'm falling apart today. It's so terrible. I was all empowered and motivated this year and today, it felt like everything fell apart. I'm trying so hard to cling to the details from "The Secret" but can't. Today, I give up. I'm exhausted.

It probably doesn't help that I went on the master cleanse today. And that my stomach is totally cramping and I'm getting light headed.

I'm looking at this cat and have no clue what to do with him.

I am turning on comments now for my blog because I feel like such a sad ass lonely cat lady and need to reach out to the world. If people leave mean comments though, I'm going to turn it off.

Please tell me I'm not alone here.

Man, something is just weird about today. Doesn't feel right. I want to go to bed and do it over tomorrow.

Thanks for listening.