I got a little teary watching this clip of my friend Brian marrying a total stranger as his way of showing how ridiculous laws barring gay marriage are. Why can two straight strangers marry but not a loving gay couple that has been together forever? Why aren't they entitled to the same rights?

If anything, Brian's gesture a great satire of weddings. Why do straight people commit to one person FOREVER? Why do straight people get married so fast? Why do straight women get into these legally binding arrangements with straight men they want to father their kids when these men will probably change and disappoint them down the road or have anger and anxiety issues? (I'm totally projecting from my last relationship, but I'm probably right.)

Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day! I'm spending Valentine's Day closing on a my first condo (details to come as this becomes a reality!) and making out with my wife. See below...



"If you can't love yourself, how the hell you going to love anyone else?" -- RuPaul

Labels: marriage grown up crap, sex is unnecessary when you have yarn

A film I co-wrote and acted in last April in Chicago is playing in a film festival in Gstaad, Switzerland! And it's up for an award called the "Golden Cow"! It was a blast working with my crazy talented director friend Masahiro Sugano and it felt like one of those really exciting true collaborations where you are just running with ideas and going going going.

But the best part is you all get to see me making out with this guy Dwight on a lawn full of goose poop while old Chinese men watch us. Yes, it's true. Sex is unnecessary when you have yarn.



UPDATE: Looks like the director is taking this down in a few days because we need to let this film make the rounds at festivals all over the world first. So enjoy it while you can. In the event that it's important to you to see the film and can't wait til it goes online because you are someone in a high position of power or relative of mine, email me and I'll send you a link where you can download the film. Thanks!

Labels: a shot at love with kristina wong, artist life., asian men, hollywood wong, sex is unnecessary when you have yarn, sex is unnecessary when you have yarn.

I've been re-reading a couple years worth of old blog entries where all I seem to do is pine about work, how I'm trying to get more work, or how I'm recovering from work... and I've decided I need more creative stuff to share on the blog.

Now that I have a sewing machine, it's time to start a new series of blog entries where I make new things from old things! I'm calling it "Making out with Kristina Wong" but if you have a better suggestion for a title, I'm open to change.

Today! Turning an old pair of pants into a Yoga Bag! (Or tripod bag or cue stick bag...)

From this:



To this!


After what I thought was my brilliant idea alone, I discovered there are quite a few tutorials for making yoga bags from old pants online. But my yoga bag uses the existing leg, belt loops and back pocket of your pants to cut down the sewing time and is a very easy project for beginning sewers!

Ingredients:
One pair of old pants (I used old cordoroys. You can use any pants with belt loops and a backpocket. Even pants with no loops and a pocket can by used but you will have to make modifications.)
Straight needles
Sewing machine (you can handsew this project but it takes a lot longer)
Needle and thread
Good scissors
Chalk or marker

Time: Less than 2 hours (with food and bathroom breaks)


Step 1: Select a pair of pants to transform. Make sure your yoga mat can comfortably slide from the top of the waist through the entire leg of the pants.



These pants have been with me since high school! I think they were actually pants that belonged to my aunt. I loved these old cords, so much so that I wore a big hole in the ass that even my patching and pinning efforts could not save. I'd been holding onto them for years trying to figure out how I could save them.

You can always make the legs more narrow, but you can't make them more wide, so if your pants are too narrow, you will want to find a wider pair.


Check and see how easy it is to slide the mat in. Some material is "too sticky." Wool pants may get stuck to your mat. Also, check for holes in the fabric of your pants. A hole along the buttcrack is ok (hey now!), but a knee hole will need to be repaired before you do this project.



Step 2: Cut the pants in half so there are two separate legs. Cut a generous seam allowance on the leg you will use for sewing purposes.


It doesn't matter which half of the leg you use. I chose the side that was less worn out. I chose to cut the zipper part into the half I will use for the yoga bag to give me a generous seam allowance. But will trim it off later.

Save the other leg, you'll use that fabric for creating the strap and drawstring for your yoga bag.


Step 3: Put the yoga bag in the pants (in the waist down) and trim the leg from the bottom. Pinch the top of the tube to get an idea of how much you will need for it to close. Cut the bag about 3" past the mat.


Save the leg that you cut off to make the bottom of the bag. If it's too short to make the bottom of the bag, but you should have enough fabric on the other leg to make a bottom.



Step 4: Sew a giant tube that will accommodate the yoga mat.


Turn your leg inside out. Use pins and mark off a straight line from the top of the waist that meets the inside seam of the pants. Sew from the top of your pants to meet the existing leg tube. Save the fabric you cut off to create the bottom of the yoga bag.


Because of the way pants are cut, the fabric may have a curve to it, or will not match the other side evenly. So you will have to pin and sew your tube so it will have a few ripples in it. These ripples are very unnoticeable once your bag is done.


After you have created the tube, trim off the excess fabric and turn the tube inside out.

Step 5: Create the strap for the yoga bag by using the other pant leg and cut a long rectangle about 4" wide and as long as your pants length.


This will need to be a long strip, so I recommend cutting along the backside of the pants, not the seam. You will end up with part of the back pocket of the pants.

Step 6: Fold over the fabric, ugly side out, and sew along one side, then turn it inside out, save it for later.




Step 7: Create the drawstring for the yoga bag by cutting a 3" wide and approx 25" long rectangle, fold along one side, sew it, then flip it inside out. Save it for later.


Because this narrow tube is going to be tricky to turn inside out, I recommend using part of the pants that are not seamed. The fabric in the front of your pants before the pockets is ideal.

Step 8: Cut the bottom of your bag.


I used a plate that had a slightly larger circumference than the hole at the bottom to draw a perfect circle.



(In hindsight, I realized I should have used a square shape since circles are difficult to sew for beginning sewers like me)



Step 9: Pin the circle into the opening. Also pin the back strap in (it should be inside the tube) since you will sew this in also. Sew your bottom and strap in.


Remember, the back pocket of the pants will actually be used in the front of the yoga bag, so you need to align the strap so that it covers the front pocket of the pants. Also align it so that you will not later sew the top of the strap over a belt loop.


Trim the excess fabric and turn your tube inside out!


Step 10: Hand sew the top of the strap to the waistline to become another belt loop.


Some sewing machines can handle a lot of layers of fabric, but mine couldn't. So if you are able to get your machine to sew this, all the better. I sewed where my pins lay.


Step 11: Sew front pocket closed.



I used little asterisk stitches to keep the front pocket closed. Sewing the front pocket closed prevents the strap and weight of the mat from constantly pulling the pocket open.


Step 12: Weave your drawstring through the belt loops. Tie it closed! You have a yoga mat bag! Namaste!




Now let your mat and new mat bag collect dust while you avoid yoga class for several years like I have!

Labels: buy nothing year, clothing reconstruction, crafty, sex is unnecessary when you have yarn

Even though I have yet to show it again, I was invited by the Feminist Magazine radio show on KPFK tonight to talk about Cat Lady... my new show in progress.

Click here to hear my interview

I show up about halfway through the interview. I ramble a bit but I like the sound of my own voice if I do say so myself.

Oliver is sitting on my lap. Bestiality... this is what it's come to.

Labels: cat lady, press, sex is unnecessary when you have yarn, the pick up artist

This update is dedicated to all the great findings here in the last days of my residency.



My new fishing buddy Aaron is perhaps the youngest living male in the City of Englewood at the ripe age of 27. Too bad I'm married huh? This is the snook he caught this morning. Because they are protected (spawning season), he threw it back.



Here's a snapper we caught! A bit small but still good to eat! It was the first fish that I have eaten straight from the water. I don't know why Aaron's shorts look like they are falling down like that in this picture. I don't remember them doing that in real life. (Oh the mockery of this cat lady. Oh the mockery.)



But boy, do I love having all these adventures with my wife! She's so much fun!


But it was no easy task to clean a fish! Yuck! Check out this video of him cleaning the fish.... That thing wouldn't die!





Before cooking....



After! The snapper was actually very small and very bony. So we got all of two bites of fish in each filet.



I'm still kinda crap as a fisherwoman. My new show, CAT LADY that premieres next week uses a lot of fishing (a great way to excuse all this leisure time as "research"). Here is some once live bait I used that got a huge bite on it's side. I'm all bait and no bite I tell you.




We also got a great full moon sunset out here where the tide was so low that sand dunes appeared. Places where the water normally goes to your waist or higher, you could walk right through.


Watch as I narrate the sunset. On full moon nights there is a rare burst of green light that appears when the sun goes down. You can't see it in the video but it's still gorgeous to take in everything else you can get from the video.





See how low the water gets?


I thought this was a good picture of Sonja doing what she does best. Photography!

Later that full moon night we went looking for sea turtles laying eggs. We thought it best to split up and each patrol in a different direction. I saw two fresh sea turtle nests and Sonja saw one. But we didn't see the turtles. It's nuts because they lay eggs in holes that they make at least 18 inches deep and then they cover them before going back to the water. So they must have worked fast because we totally missed them. I think I saw a turtle as she was leaving the nest she made. I think I saw her back as she disappeared in the tide.




This is what a fresh sea turtle nest looks like! You can see two sets of tracks (one going from the water, and one going back to the water). The little mound is where the turtle dug, laid, and buried her eggs.



In the morning, Sonja and I woke up super early to watch the sea turtle patrol dig up nests that were past gestation. The patrol is made up of cool volunteers who dig up nests, then count the numbers of non-viable eggs and hatched eggs. They also keep track and protect the area around new eggs. Sometimes they find live or dead baby turtles in the nests they dig up.




Here are the eggs they dug up. A lot were not good, but the ones that still might hatch are reburied closer to the surface where they will get more heat and the babies will have an easier time digging their way out.


When a new nest is discovered by the patrol, the nest is marked by a stake that records the nest number, date of laying, and the initials of the people patrolling. This is the nest Sonja found the night before. The "KW" is yours truly!


Here are two geckos, mocking me with their lovemaking.

Here is a video I made of them. It's not very clever. And moves as much as the above photo. Gecko penises are red btw.



Sonja knows how to handle my camera better than me. Here I am in the gulf with the Hermitage House behind me. Today the water was so clear we could see our feet at the bottom.



I also have made a lot of crafts while here. The local wildlife has inspired a lot of new animal shapes.



If my fishing skills suck, at least I can improvise!



Here is a dead mouse I'm using in Cat Lady.


And of course! Sea turtles! If I can't spot them live, I can at least make them. This is for the woman who nominated me to come here.



Come on, you know you want to see another sunset photo! It feels like every sunset is so different here.

Labels: artist life., cat lady, cat pee, crafty, hot people, i'm kristina wong, oh my god, rednecks, road wong, sex is unnecessary when you have yarn, the secret, vision

I hit a grumpy moment when my cell phone charger conked out just a couple hours ago. It's inexplicably wet on the inside. I have no idea how. But it is. There's no puddle or leak in the cottage, it just stopped working and was all wet inside and plugged in nowhere near water. Nature most definitely has turned against me. First, it was my keyboard ($185 to restore the F key!). Now my phone charger. Next it will be... my other electric powered vices....

It's her way of saying, "Time to not have a cell phone for a few days and blog about your wedding which you never told your readers about."

The Wedding of Kristina and Kristina! June 4, 2008


Yes, it's true. I am married now as of June 4, 2008. Our ceremony was at the Merkato Ethiopian Restaurant in LA. And surprisingly, the first wedding ever to happen there. I even have changed my status on myspace and facebook to "married." It's serious. Who is the lucky guy, girl or tranny you ask? Me! Kristina Wong! I know, it was very sudden. But when you know someone is so right for you, you can't help but dive right in.

I vowed to love and cheerish myself forever. Unconditionally. I had some cold feet but thanks to the encouraging words of friends and an Ethiopian guy dining at the adjacent table, I am learning that love is ongoing. It is a process. It is "survived" (in the words of my poet friend Kelly Tsai).

The Wedding of Kristina and Kristina was officiated by Reverend Marcus Kuiland Nazario. My Man of Honor/ Ring Boy was Pete Lee. My friends and other restaurant patrons and staff were my witnesses.

Here are some highlights from the ceremony...


It is customary for the bride to spank her guests. My friend Yi, got me a riding crop as a wedding present!



At this wedding, we ate first! This is one of my favorite restaurants in LA. I always order the fish.



I asked friends to give to my favorite non-profits as part of my "gift registry." I did get some plants though! Here is a money plant from Daisy Lin Shapiro who did the "Yours Truly, Miss Chinatown" documentary that I am featured in.


There was a pretty funny moment when I got to the "altar" and looked both ways... and yep, nobody else was coming. Just me and me!



Reverend Marcus makes me look at my wife. Though this mirror looks like a birth control container.


Nurit, who directs a lot of my work, offered the advice of "not being so tough on Kristina when you get married to her."


My friend, Ellen Switkes said to not go to bed angry. What great advice. We really have listened to it.


My best friend Pete Lee offers some loving words of advice for the couple.


My ring was a plastic heart. "With this ring, I me wed." Of the ring I said, "This is the everlasting circle, and like the plastic this is made of, so our love last as long."

I also put on a necklace that had a jade pendant from my grandmother, and another jade pendant from my mother as symbols of the women before me and the love and nagging that fuel my spirit.



Cutting the wedding/ birthday cake. This was a red velvet one from Susie's. When I went to pick it up they were like, "You are buying your own birthday cake? How sad."

"No, not sad. Awesomely awesome," I said as I left.



Oh those crazy newlyweds feeding each other cake!


What's a wedding without a bouquet toss? This one was for men and women!


Shameka gets married next to herself!

WEDDING VIDEOS!!





My friend/ reverend Marcus officiates by offering his words of wisdom for the bride and bride. I also do my own vows.




Reverend Marcus leads the group vows. He's very creative.


So that's it. That's the report from married life. I am still learning the ropes of self-love being a Newlywed a month and a half later. It's hard to learn to live with someone forever... even if it is yourself. I actually do look over to my pink plastic wedding ring and feel what a lot of married people feel: "Wow, look at that, there's someone out there who is committed to loving me. And I'm with her all the time!"

Labels: a shot at love with kristina wong, marriage grown up crap, sex is unnecessary when you have yarn