There was a lot of great feedback from my last Cash for Clunkers post with ideas for Creatives to survive... NO, make that thrive in a recession. I thought I'd post more related less to money and more towards growing joy in life. Here are ideas that I've been referring to a lot lately and that I've figured out over a good long lifetime. Some of these ideas are adapted from books I've read, some I've discovered, and others are from creative friends who've made livings doing more insanely obscure things than me.

Good luck! It's the creatives that will help lead us to the light.

More Cash for Clunkers Tips: #10-19

10. Don’t ever ever ever let people characterize you as “broke” or “starving” and don’t ever describe yourself as those things out loud even if you are thinking it or its your "reality." If you romanticize the idea of struggling, you will be your own self-fulfilling prophecy. ”Broke” and “artist” are not synonymous unless you say they are.

Other words to eliminate from your vocabulary: "victim" (best replaced with the word “survivor”), “struggling” (best replaced with "mastering") and “trying” (ie You are a writer, you are not trying to be a writer.)

11. Grow an herb garden. Even if all you have is a tiny windowsill and a small handful of dirt. Sometimes when the world is falling apart, it helps have something nuture you as you nuture it. Grow things you can eat. Enjoy the novelty of harvesting your own food. Invite folks over to have a salad that you grew yourself. Watching the slow process it takes for a plant to grow will keep you from overbuying food or wasting food. If you kill your garden by accident, find a better place to garden, or start watering plants in the neighborhood that aren’t dying. Some easy plants to grow that are fun to eat are sweet basil and mint.

12. Get on that Martha Stewart Living tip and make something to improve your home or make a gift. A rag rug, a sock puppet, or just sew up the holes in your socks. Sure you could have a toddler in Saipan make the same thing for 99 cents, but just like gardening, there is a certain joy that is lost in crafting something with your own time and care. I like the tutorials on threadbanger for ideas of things to make. Some projects take less than 15 minutes.

13. Instead of panicking, write down ten possible solutions to the problem. Then action steps. Yay! You just made a blueprint of what to do. If you're still stuck, go to tip #15 to get help.

14. Distance yourself from complainers, self-victimizers, naysayers, trainwrecks, and energy suckers. Yes, sometimes we are related to them. Yes, there are times when friends need our help. But we can't help them if they try to cripple us with their crap. There are people who need a friend and there are people who want to pass their problems onto someone else. Set boundaries, find private time, do your thing.

15. Invite someone new to dinner with no ulterior motives. I have 1400 Facebook friends and am probably only close to 200 of them. In the isolation of working at home, I decided to start writing some of the ones on the periphery. “Hey, do you want to hang out? Can I take you to dinner?” It helps if someone you invite has expertise in a field you know nothing about because they will give you insight to life that you never considered before. Invite people over who you admire, don't invite the folks I caution against in #14.

16. Work to learn, not to earn. If your job pays well but isn’t ultimately serving or providing any insight into what you want to do with your life, it’s often better to be at a less paying job where you can learn more in your field. If you can’t afford to work to learn in your dream field, then volunteer in your dream field.

17. When meeting people who are in a position to move you forward, remember that as an artist who is in this for the long haul, you are cultivating, not hunting. I’ve realized in how irksome it is to be approached with, “Hi Kristina, can you help me with grants?” Nobody likes being constantly bilked for their time and resources, especially from strangers. I’m always happy to help friends and people who have supported me because we have relationships that have been cultivated over time.

18. Find other ways to ask for “help” besides asking for money. With every non-profit holding out their hat, donors are a little fatigued. Here are some ideas for things you can ask for that may be helpful to your art: production or administrative assistance, airline miles, food for a reception, a contact list, rehearsal space. It’s much easier for people to offer resources or things that they can afford to share than part with money.

19. If you are going to ask for money, make it a positive exchange. Let potential donors know the long-term impact their money will have and how their contributions will be honored. Offer a credit in the product you are making. Breakdown how their money might be used in logical and compelling ways (ie $10 will rent an hour of rehearsal space). Believe it or not, most people would prefer to give money to a reputable and trustworthy person who will use the contribution strategically rather than give their money to temporarily plug the holes in a sinking ship. Email pictures of your progress. Nobody is obligated to give you their money, no matter how much it will help you. So never take it for granted. Graciousness counts.

Labels: buy nothing year, the secret, vision, winnings

Watch out world! I'm throwing down 62 clams in the month of August to buy my first LA Metro bus pass. I'm thinking I'll wear it around my neck in a plastic laminated necklace like the abuelitas do and push my granny cart filled with groceries up and down Sunset Blvd. I actually don't know that I ride the bus enough to warrant owning a bus pass. I have to ride the bus 49 times next month to make the "bus ride buffet" ticket worthwhile but I'm home for a full month (for once) so I thought I'd live it up.

Things are getting super busy here very fast. Summers tend to be "downtime" for me. I'm seeing crazy things happen in my line of work. I was in talks with New World Theater at UMass Amherst to bring Wong Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest in 2010. Then just a month later, New World Theater had their funding completely cut off by the university! This is pretty ugly as this institution has been around for 30+ years.

I did get a very huge break a few months ago with a MAPFUND grant to develop my new "CAT LADY" show but I haven't been able to secure a premiere venue or NPN co-commissioner. It's not that the interest isn't there, it's just that every theater on earth is watching their budget. There's a definite and palpable slowdown in the arts.

So I've decided that rather than wail and flail in panic, I'm going to use the money that I had set aside for a car to invest in a new computer and a video camera. And I'm thinking of turning part of the living room in my new Silverlake House into a set that I can shoot different shows in. I'm long overdue for a tech upgrade, I've been using the same laptop for five years! And it's really hot and slow. So look out world, not only will this lady be rocking a bus pass but also a video blog!



I will admit that I've been looking at ads for cars. It's really tempting to buy one. To be able to get to West LA in one hour as opposed to two. These ads are misleading though... this "Cash for Clunkers" thing is so dumb. How is it a 5 year old car can qualify as a clunker but my Mercedes that caught on fire on the 405 couldn't? Bleh, forget it.



Quite a few of my creative friends are complaining about going broke this summer and I've mentioned several times in my blogs how it's hard to not get sucked into poverty mentality when the news and all your friends are dragging the sky down around you. I find myself having days where I'm like, "Oh god! It's over! I give up!"

I'm losing sympathy for my friends going who complain of being broke. Their standards of broke are "first world broke." I have a friend who is a sex worker and says she's having "survival sex" for money and yet owns a laptop, cell phone, and car. I have another friend who owes me $500 and he's had months to pay me back, and he calls me from his cell phone to tell me he has run off to New York City (for a vacation).

If you are broke, suck it up, grow up, and deal with it. Because nobody with an IPhone is a victim of anything.

People keep asking me for help with getting money to do their art. The requests were at first flattering because it really felt as if they regard me as successful. But now theses requests have become kind of irritating, like I'm some kind of magic fairy that can say three things to make things happen. If you go way back into my very first blogs, you'll know, I've been at this game for YEARS and only started to make a full time living at it in the last four years. And if you know me well enough, you know it was REALLY REALLY UGLY when I was first at this.

I see people I haven't seen in a while and the first thing they say is, "Hi Kristina! Can you help me get grant money?"

("Yeah. Nice to see you too.")

Is there a sign on my head that says: "My name is Kristina Wong and I can show you how easy it is to get money because I have nothing better to do?" I mean I try to be supportive of people but I feel like that generosity gets taken advantage of.


People asking me to lead them to "magic grant money" irritates me one three levels:

First, I spend 20 hours (if not more) a week doing work related to generating income for my art (that is not my actual art) and most people aren't willing to put up the BS of arts admin. Even when I've taken the time to explain to people how it all works, they either don't apply for the grant that I just walked them through or ask me to repeat the information to them as if the explanation will become somehow easier. My biggest pet peeve is when they ask me to send copies of my grants so they can play mad libs with them, as if we weren't doing completely different projects.

Second, I probably make the same amount as many of my artist friends "who are always broke"-- the difference is that I manage my finances differently. A lot of my broke friends would not be broke if they just learned to not spend money on stuff they don't need or buy so much stuff on credit. So it's not that I have more money than other people, I just allocate my money differently when I get it.

And third, there is no "magic grant money." Like any other thing that's earned in this world. Money for your art is also earned, not thrown around to random people like a sweepstakes prize.

So my artist friends going broke but texting away on your iphone... do you need a bail out? Here it is!

NINE Cash for Clunkers Tips for Creatives going Broke who keep asking me to help them with money:

1. Run Away
If you can't get a job and your career is not going anywhere, sublet your place, give up your apartment, sell your things, and run off to an artist's retreat where you can live for free. Unfortunately, most of them don't pay you to be there or accommodate kids. If you can't get into an artist's retreat, move in with your parents and be their "loser" 30-something kid who writes screenplays in the basement. Nobody will judge you if they can't see you! Yay! You just freed up $400-1000 a month in rent!

2. Get someone to burn you a bootleg copy of The Secret and watch it over and over again until you sound possessed.
I am critical of The Secret (ie "The Unofficial Orientation Video for New Angelinos") because it does place much too much emphasis on material wealth. But hey, it's Metaphysics for Dummies! There is a critical third step to the process of the Secret that people often forget-- ACTION. So stop complaining that nobody sent you $100 after you watched The Secret and start taking action. (And taking action does asking me to lead you through the short cut to money. Because I only know the long route.)

3. Sell your car and get a bus pass.
If you really need money that badly, get over your "I need my car" bullshit and get rid of your car. Cancel your insurance. Cancel your AAA membership. Cancel your gym membership (because the city streets just turned into your gym). Yay! You just freed up $500 a month plus whatever you got for your car.

4. Find something less expensive to replace your drug habit.
Get money. Get stoned. Can't remember where your money went. Get money. Get stoned. Can't remember where your money went. Why do broke people still have money for pot? Here's a suggestion of how to get high instead. Put on a Bob Marley cd, then run around really fast backwards in the hot sun without water, then try to recite poetry, then get a friend to say "whoa, that's brilliant" at every line. Yay! You just freed up $50-300 a month.

5. Don't be a bottom feeder.
If you ever done movie background work, you've probably met "background lifers." The people who only talk about doing extra work and getting more extra work, and yet, still think this will lead to something bigger. If you get too obsessed with the stones lining the walkway, you'll never get to see the inside of the house. Sometimes the "hunting and gathering" way of the artist life prevents us from thinking about the big picture. So think from the top down. Think beyond survival.

6. Drop your $$$ scene study class and take creative classes at TeAda Camp instead. I'm teaching and am a student in at TeAda's summer camp for adults that's super affordable for creative people who want to expand their skillset on a budget. You can take classes in movement, voice, acting, improv, yoga and writing for as low as $10 a class. They are drop-in classes so you don't have to commit to months and months of training. The classes are cheap as hell and a good alternative to that overpriced overhyped stuff offered all over LA. Yay! You just freed up $200-400 a month (depending on what pyramid scheme acting school you were previously enrolled in.)

7. Kick the deadbeat to the curb. (Several times in the head if necessary.)
Are you in a shitty relationship and giving the guy/girl money/ free rent/ food on top of it? Say good- bye! This one is especially for my creative lady friends who are with men who can't take care of themselves and freeload off your generosity. You deserve a partner who can take care of him or herself and therefore, can support you when you need it. You are not a rescuer. You are not a social worker. You will find better. I've kicked a few deadbeats to the curb myself and never looked back. Yay! You've just freed up 200 lbs of dead weight!

8. Manage your money between several different checking accounts.
If you are an artist working for yourself, the worst financial thing you can do is pile up all your income into one checking account. You should not pay your rent and your director out of the same account. You should not deposit your big grant check in the same account that you pay for food. I recommend two accounts-- a business account and personal account. And have two separate credit cards for business and personal expenses.

Figure out what your personal budget is each month to live. This amount should be your salary and every month write yourself a check from the business account to the personal account in this amount. Even if this means you have several checking accounts with a $0 balance, you will at least get into the habit of managing your money and treating the work you do as a professional.

Ideally, you should have several accounts. (This is something I am still trying to organize in my own life.) You should have a business account, a personal account, an education account (for paying for things to further your learning and growth), a splurge account, an investments fund. There are other methods for breaking these accounts up. When you get money, get in the habit of dividing money in each of these accounts. Yay! You are saving towards retirement!

9. Stop buying shit.
Use the library, wear things twice, make new things out of old things. Make presents for your friends. Our economy is a mess and we're told to save money by not buying things, but the only way the economy will move is if we buy things. What gives? Run away from the need to buy stuff that can be borrowed, bartered or made! I was going to buy a VHS to DVD converter to convert my analog archives to 0's and 1's but found out there was one I could use at the SAG Foundation for free. Yay! I just saved $150!


Presents I made for my friends' kids.

There! Now stop asking me to help you get money. Or at least have a real conversation with me before you ask. I just helped you get lots of money. If you need more help, I'll be at the bus stop waiting for you to give me a ride to the next big thing!

Labels: artist life., kristina is so bitchy this week, losing my mind in los angeles, property mogul, the secret, The Wong Sans Wheels Chronicles, veggie oil car, vision

I rarely stay up past midnight, but I was lying in bed as I have been the last few nights looking around at this same darn West LA apartment that I've been living in for the last seven years with it's dingy carpets and cottage cheese ceilings, and post-college furnishings, and yes... rent control (though steadily increasing at 3% a year).... and I'm thinking....

"I need to get out of here. I really need a space of my own."

I've tried making the move many times to buy property. Like begging my parents to help me. Like motivating myself by drawing a little thermometer set at an insane amounts of money, taping it above my desk, and barely filling it in as I made each tiny deposit. Like looking into being a slumlord in Indiana and owning my own little piece of Section 8 property for $5k.

I've read books about buying property. Done all that visualization crap from "The Secret" like lied to poor realtors at Open Houses that "I was in the market for something under $500K" (yeah, WAAAAAAY under!)-- this was my way to get into "the mindset" of being a home buyer.

Cuckoo. Cuckoo.

And as much as I've saved (and it's quite a lot for someone who works as a performance artist, mind you), it still isn't enough for a down payment on much of anything... in Los Angeles especially. And if I ever do move, I'll definitely have to buy a car because any of the neighborhoods I could possibly afford are FAAAAAAR from civilization.

I've contemplated hitting up amateur night at the Spearmint Rhino to score some cash.... having the world's most lucrative yard sale.... getting married (yuck!)... and yes, even selling my eggs (GASP!)

(Little Kristinas running about the country so that large Kristina can have her own compost bin in her own lawn, next to her own little house? Yes! It almost came to that.)

I did think about getting a real job for a second... but come on... no need to get irrational here.

And then it dawned on me!

"What a great time to buy stocks!"

Yes, it's a shitty time for the economy, but this $700 Jazillion Government welfare check should help somehow right? And even if its shit now, it will inevitably go up right??!

RIGHT?!

I have a mutual fund that I bought after 9/11 that is currently tanking (but I have faith it will climb back up, at least, when I'm 65). I'm not even sure what's in that fund-- was it metal? poultry? Hell if I know. I just knew that I wanted a nest egg. And I heard mutual funds were the way to go.

But time to get aggressive! Time to be a day trader! Or... whatever they are called. I'm going to invest in the stock market! Woo hoo!

I've tried many times to try to understand the stock market, and I just don't get it. It also gets discouraging to see people I know who invest in stocks and whose emotional Ricter scales mirror the rise and fall stock market.

Suze Orman talks a good game but I am still confused on how you even go buy stocks. And will a stock broker even work with me if I all I have is $150? Or $50? Or $10. I think they purposely turn company names into weird symbols to shun writerly folks like me who like reading words and sentences.

But I think it's time for me to play the game. I am up reading about etrade.com and scottrade.com. And there are some cheap books for dummies (that would be me) on how to use these sites. Some are a penny and I've already wishlisted them. I have no idea how these sites work, but if I can read a knitting pattern, I sure as hell can learn to do this. And I can move myself out of this apartment all by myself!

The thing is that in my profession, I sometimes feel so disconnected from the real world of dumb American consumption. When I'm in malls I feel like I've been sucked into an otherworldly hell. If I was on the Price is Right, I would totally guess the cost of things all wrong.

"Yes, Drew! I think that Ford Fiesta costs $50,o00!"

(After all, I am the one who spent $6k on a junky 1981 Mercedez Benz with 180k miles on it. Only to have it catch on fire.)

I have no idea what the kids are buying because I'm too busy pulling crap out of my fake theatrical vagina in small black box theaters as I comment ironically on my own identity.

How did the price of gold go up? What cars are people driving? My own buying habits are a very poor gauge for how the rest of America consumes. So how will I know what to invest in? This is what I must learn in order to make money on stocks in this shit economy.

If I could be sure that the rest of America spent their money the way I do, then here are Kristina's stock tips....

Hot Stocks to Invest in, if everyone in American shopped like Kristina Wong

• Tidy Cats cat litter
• Michael's Craft Store (or other stores where you can acquire the materials to make fake vaginas)
  
• Metro and Santa Monica Blue Bus
• US Post Office
• Long Island Iced teas
  
• Merkato (Kristina's favorite restaurant)
• Alternative Live Theater spaces
• Zipcar.com
  

Kristina's Junk Bond Tips

• Laundry Machine downstairs
• Mexican Produce truck two blocks over that sweeps neighborhood
  
• Thai Massage place up the block
• Jdate.com
  

Now go! Invest! See you in the little Section 8 property in the sky!

Labels: property mogul, the secret

Bai Ling, fashion misfit and famous actress (but don't ask me to name what movies she's been in because I can only think of a few... "Wild Wild West" and... "Beautiful Country" and hmmm....) came to my show on Friday! She said to me after the show, "You're crazy! You should end the show nude!" I asked her, "Can I call you 'Bai Ling'?" and she was like, "Call me 'Bai anything'!"

Wow, it's Thursday and I'm finally getting back to work. I've been cracked out the last few days just sitting in my own filth, pretending to unpack (my set is still all over the living room), sewing my felt dolls, and slowly facing the reality of two months ahead in LA and no real work. No tour dates, no big shows... just... DOWNTIME (?)

And no real income!! Oh boy! Hit the panic button!!!!!

But wait...

Luckily, I've learned that I need to keep myself scheduled. There are a couple grant deadlines this week and a whole host of stuff ahead. So maybe the post partum depression that inevitably hits after a big show will pass right straight by this time around. I do have my BECAUSE IV workshop to float me through the end of the year. That will be fun. And a few little speaking gigs here and there. So it's a welcome respite and a nice surprise to be home for EIGHT STRAIGHT WEEKS?

What other things can I do to occupy my time? Well, VH1 starts the second season of the "Pick Up Artist." Plus some other crackalicious shows like "Rock of Love's Charm School," and "Real Chance at Love" starring reality show rejects Real and Chance, who were rejected by New York who was rejected by Flavor Flav (twice), who was rejected by Brigette Nielsen. So meta.

What will I do with all this time? I've been sewing, watched Season 4 of the office, called a bunch of people who won't return my calls, pretended to clean, watched theater. Gotten a massage.

I guess I actually have some downtime to create some new art work. IMAGINE THAT! Art time!

I've also set a goal to come up with $5000 to put in a "nest egg" account by the end of the year. I am not sure how I will come up with this money though. But it starts with the thought.

Maybe I will sell crap in my apartment. Or hit up amateur night.

Labels: artist life, crafty, hollywood wong, marriage grown up crap, the secret

Today is my father's birthday. I called to wish him a Happy Birthday" and he asked: "Have you seen 'America's Got Talent?' so entertaining."

My mother picked up the phone and said, "I read your bob Kristina" (for some reason, my American born mother pronounces "blog"-- "bob") and then she began to scold me for my entry below. "You are creating a self fulfulling prophecy... If you keep thinking that nobody will come to your show... then nobody will. I think you should vocalize all the good things you think will happen like, 'What if the show sells out?'"

It was all so very "The Secret" of her. I was suprised. After all, I thought I got the gift for worry and panic from my parents.

So here are my new "what-ifs"....

What if my show sells out and people stop getting depressed and stop killing themselves?
What if everyone loves it?What if it goes really well and people love me?
What if men with jobs watch it and fall in love with me and ask me out and then marry me and I become a kept woman?


Thanks Mommy.

By the way, tomorrow morning (9/11) at 7am, I am on the KPFK morning show giving out free tickets for the show!

Labels: artist life, the secret

This update is dedicated to all the great findings here in the last days of my residency.



My new fishing buddy Aaron is perhaps the youngest living male in the City of Englewood at the ripe age of 27. Too bad I'm married huh? This is the snook he caught this morning. Because they are protected (spawning season), he threw it back.



Here's a snapper we caught! A bit small but still good to eat! It was the first fish that I have eaten straight from the water. I don't know why Aaron's shorts look like they are falling down like that in this picture. I don't remember them doing that in real life. (Oh the mockery of this cat lady. Oh the mockery.)



But boy, do I love having all these adventures with my wife! She's so much fun!


But it was no easy task to clean a fish! Yuck! Check out this video of him cleaning the fish.... That thing wouldn't die!





Before cooking....



After! The snapper was actually very small and very bony. So we got all of two bites of fish in each filet.



I'm still kinda crap as a fisherwoman. My new show, CAT LADY that premieres next week uses a lot of fishing (a great way to excuse all this leisure time as "research"). Here is some once live bait I used that got a huge bite on it's side. I'm all bait and no bite I tell you.




We also got a great full moon sunset out here where the tide was so low that sand dunes appeared. Places where the water normally goes to your waist or higher, you could walk right through.


Watch as I narrate the sunset. On full moon nights there is a rare burst of green light that appears when the sun goes down. You can't see it in the video but it's still gorgeous to take in everything else you can get from the video.





See how low the water gets?


I thought this was a good picture of Sonja doing what she does best. Photography!

Later that full moon night we went looking for sea turtles laying eggs. We thought it best to split up and each patrol in a different direction. I saw two fresh sea turtle nests and Sonja saw one. But we didn't see the turtles. It's nuts because they lay eggs in holes that they make at least 18 inches deep and then they cover them before going back to the water. So they must have worked fast because we totally missed them. I think I saw a turtle as she was leaving the nest she made. I think I saw her back as she disappeared in the tide.




This is what a fresh sea turtle nest looks like! You can see two sets of tracks (one going from the water, and one going back to the water). The little mound is where the turtle dug, laid, and buried her eggs.



In the morning, Sonja and I woke up super early to watch the sea turtle patrol dig up nests that were past gestation. The patrol is made up of cool volunteers who dig up nests, then count the numbers of non-viable eggs and hatched eggs. They also keep track and protect the area around new eggs. Sometimes they find live or dead baby turtles in the nests they dig up.




Here are the eggs they dug up. A lot were not good, but the ones that still might hatch are reburied closer to the surface where they will get more heat and the babies will have an easier time digging their way out.


When a new nest is discovered by the patrol, the nest is marked by a stake that records the nest number, date of laying, and the initials of the people patrolling. This is the nest Sonja found the night before. The "KW" is yours truly!


Here are two geckos, mocking me with their lovemaking.

Here is a video I made of them. It's not very clever. And moves as much as the above photo. Gecko penises are red btw.



Sonja knows how to handle my camera better than me. Here I am in the gulf with the Hermitage House behind me. Today the water was so clear we could see our feet at the bottom.



I also have made a lot of crafts while here. The local wildlife has inspired a lot of new animal shapes.



If my fishing skills suck, at least I can improvise!



Here is a dead mouse I'm using in Cat Lady.


And of course! Sea turtles! If I can't spot them live, I can at least make them. This is for the woman who nominated me to come here.



Come on, you know you want to see another sunset photo! It feels like every sunset is so different here.

Labels: artist life., cat lady, cat pee, crafty, hot people, i'm kristina wong, oh my god, rednecks, road wong, sex is unnecessary when you have yarn, the secret, vision

I know I must seem annoyingly utopic to read, especially if you are at your day job when you read my blog and I'm here on the beach being artsy.

"Damn that Kristina Wong for getting to go to Florida to be an artist."

I'm sad it will be over soon, I will have to head back to LA in less than two weeks, and I have to go back to my life of squeezing creative time between administrative errands that afford me the creative space. When I return, I am committed to changing my habits so that I really make more creative space in my life and don't get drowned in the particulars.

Add to my new crack-like addictions (which already included crafts, knitting, bikes and VH1)--- my new addiction to CNN. CNN is much easier on the eyes with Obama running for office. But watching so much CNN can cause panic about the future.

How am I going to fuel my vegetable oil car!? How will I survive this economy? How will I afford to eat if we run out of food? What about Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae and Indymac?!?! What will I do if the arts world dries up and there is no more milk for this little kitty to lap?

PANIC PANIC PANIC!!!

No friends, we can't panic. We just can't. I don't know what the answers to all this crap of the world are... BUT we must have vision and look at the future and be creative and say, "How can we find ways to still be happy and enjoy ourselves in the midst of this panic?"

For me, I like to sew things. And it makes me happy. And I've gotten to read a lot of books. I'm also reading a book my friend Danielle gave me many years ago called "Succulent Wild Woman" by Sark. Sark talks about learning to live with and without money. And not letting your money define your identity. She talks about how women should get married to themselves (sound familiar?) and having tea parties for other great women.

The other artist here Sonja and I have become great friends. She's my best friend here besides Bruce the director of the Hermitage. Yes, there are just three people here. And I love them.

Sonja wrote a nice blog about me.

Little things are great things that make life great. So don't be scared of the future Kristina, you can handle anything!

Labels: crafty, i'm kristina wong, road wong, the secret, vacation?, veggie oil car, vision

Hey riends, my f key is still out, so this update is mostly video and pictures.


Kristina Wong-- Fishing with Crackers Videoblog 7/5/08 from kristina wong on Vimeo.
Summing up my day with the redneck dad I never had.


Me showing my rod.


This is what I almost caught except like mine was over two feet long.


Another snook.


Iguana under the house.


This is Larry, my redneck Daddy, casting a net.


An unpublished videoblog from last week.


The Fireworks at the Beach! Right where I am staying.


Shark teeth that are ancient and wash up on the beach. There is also a manatee rib.


A guy caught a shark at sundown. A little baby.


But too small.


I am so lucky.


Yeah.

Labels: artist life, i'm kristina wong, moon, road wong, The New Tweens, the secret, uck you, vision

Saving a Fetus in Florida from kristina wong on Vimeo.
So now my videoblogs are getting so long and windy that I actually have to host them on Vimeo! Anyway, this one is good! I hope you will listen to today's big moral debacle about whether or not to save a child's life by speaking up or shutting up. Today, I chose to shut up.

As a result, a one eyed four legged child will come into the world... and she will probably be named "Kristina" after the woman who decided to use "the law of attraction" to save her unborn life, rather than a good ol' fashion tongue lashing.

I am so sorry Baby Kristina....



On an up note. I saw a turtle today on the side of the road. I think turtles can hiss. Here is the turtle I sang to.

Labels: rednecks, the secret

As you can see. I am getting used to being here. And as relaxed as it is-- the isolation, the wildlife, and the long list of stuff I need to accomplish while out here has stacked quite the learning curve. It's actually harder than I thought it would be to figure out how to spend my time here. Time is flying and there's too much work to do.

My commencement speech for this weekend is still tiptoeing together. I have such high standards for how I want it to go off. But I can't shake off the crappy unsolicited advice from my mother's high school friend on how to write a speech. Her stringent advice pretty much boils down to "be a boring know-it-all and make all Chinese people look good." Her shat advice echoes in my head every time my fingers hit the keyboard....

"Stick to one issue, such as "how English helped me to survive and landed me a job in communication/acting/; how English helped me become a writer; etc." NOT SOME CONVULUTED SUBJECT that will take a lifetime to explain. Keep it SIMPLE."




The great news is that the trustees who live on the island are so kind and have offered to take me boating and fishing... something that I've never desired much to do, yet made my wishlist on Monday. Today I left the premises to go to dinner with them and found out there is actually a semblance of commerce about two miles up the road.


The sunset over the Gulf of Mexico.


If you were curious about my cottage. Here is the bed I have that overlooks the sea and the living room area.


Here is my living room. Pretty nice huh? It's the house I imagined having for a long time. And now I feel stressed to make the most of this.

It's a lot to receive, to breathe and move forward.


By the way, I'm also addicted to this amazing show on TLC called "Jon and Kate plus 8"-- about this couple and their kids (a set of twins and a set of sextuplets). The dad is half Korean, but their 1/4 Asian babies look really really Asian! They are such a funny couple and their kids are so adorable. The scenes where the kids are all screaming and yelling makes for a great form of birth control.

Labels: artist life, road wong, the secret, vision

I'm overwhelmed by the world outside the United States that is being ravaged. Earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes.

I was on the bus on my way to the mechanic (a place my car loves to be lately), and reading in the LA Times that the best way to help the people in Myanmar would be to give to Unicef. They have an office in Myanmar and are so large and independent that they are able to work around a lot of the government BS.

So I am walking and going through my money in my head and trying to figure out, "How much could I give the people in Myanmar?"

And then I go pick up the car and get slapped with a $700 bill.

Whoops. Maybe those people will have to help me.

But I've been really trying to think lately how as an artist I can help people in other countries. So I was thinking. I would give Unicef $20 and try to get some people to match me. Perhaps if four other people who weren't pushed to give would give, and we could send them $100.

So I'm here with my $20. If you will match it. Let me know.

Here is the link to Unicef.

Write me if you are interested. Let's give!

Labels: the secret, vision

Holy Smokeroos! I just got into Amherst, MA last night where I'm hosting this conference showcase. I'm jumping up and down because I got this email...

Dear Kristina,

The year after you graduated from UCLA, the English department began a tradition of inviting one of our alumni to give a commencement address. For 2008, we would very much like you to be that person! Our department commencement is scheduled to take place on Sunday, June 15th (Father’s Day) at 12:30pm in Pauley Pavilion. The event will last approximately 2 hours, and we are asking you to prepare a 10-minute speech to the graduating students on the topic of how your undergraduate education in English has been helpful and relevant to you in your years since graduating. Of course, you are welcome to make your address as serious or as entertaining as you would like! And we would be happy to accommodate any guests (friends or family members) you might like to invite as well. We realize your schedule for June may already be full, but we fervently hope you will be able to join us and contribute to the joy of the day for our graduating majors. Please let me know if you’ll be able to participate at your earliest convenience, and also if there is anything we can do to facilitate your being able to participate, please let me know!

Sincerely,

Janel Munguia
Undergraduate Advisor
UCLA Department of English


This is so validating! Especially since I was such a crappy and scatterbrained English major when I was there. I am not sure if I can do it or will have to take a raincheck (supposed to be in Florida for six weeks for a residency and need to see if they can fly me and if I can get away for a couple days). They said they would take a rain check for 2009 if they cannot fly me in this time around.

I also think it makes sense that this invite came when it did. I'm really wanting to change my life more and more to live by example and be a better role model. To live with more hope and vision like Obama says we must. (But please, I'm not perfect, so forgive me as I make mistakes along the way. And I will.)

I think the universe sent me this invite because I was buzzing from a great week in San Antonio and found myself writing in my journal, "I am so lucky to be Kristina Wong." I am so so lucky!

I really am happy to be who I am right now. Thank you universe!

"....Esteemed Class of 2008, now that I've told you how much money I actually make, and how I've managed to humiliate myself and my family for a living, let's spend the next 9 minutes watching this clip from 'The Secret'!"

Labels: i'm kristina wong, the secret

So on my way out of San Francisco Sunday, literally, on the way to the airport, my parents and I decide to check out some open houses in our neighborhood.

Because if I'm going to be an Indiana slumlord, property mogul, or even the owner of my own studio sized condo in 29 Palms-- I need to start learning more about what people are selling and how.

We looked at three houses, all in the Sunset District, all selling for way too much money. There was a tiny house up the block from us that was over $1million. It was small and the owners hadn't even cleared their stuff out from inside. It was pretty unappealing because their stuff didn't really make me feel like I was in a million dollar house. Then we went to a house down the block that was almost 900k, and that one was nicer, because the bathrooms and kitchen was remodeled and it was all emptied out of stuff.

Then we went down the block to a house that had been completely renovated from the ground up and was selling for $1.5 Million. It was gorgeous. The ceilings went to the sky, marble everywhere, everything was new. But probably not smart of the owner to create the most expensive house on the block as evidenced by how the house has been on the market for 11 months.

This $1.5 Mill house had enlisted the services of a "Home Staging" company. Companies that strategically place furniture, acoutrements, and place settings in your empty home so that prospective buyers walk in and immediately imagine the narrative they will live in the house. In this 1.5 Million dollar house, the stager had placed selected cookbooks like "Fine Dining of San Francisco" open to a recipe for a heart shaped chocolate cake on the counter. She placed beds with velvet headboards and thick fluffy silk bedsheets. Perfectly antiqued Chinese trunks.

She had place fine Japanese table settings. Two settings. Perhaps for a young financially established couple. Who'd just gotten married.

I was awed by it. This empty house, with just enough suggestions for me to see my life there. Like wicker vases placed in the stairwell with random branches placed inside and a chair comfy to the paper read from.



I had no idea that these services existed. As a theater artist, this concept of "home staging" is so intriguing. Kind of like when you go to a play and are sitting in the audience looking at the set before the show begins. Already you imagine what's going to happen. You anticipate entrances, characters, conflict. Or sometimes, you don't anticipate conflict. Sometimes the set gives no indication that anything could ever go wrong.

That's what a good home stager does, they create a set where nothing could ever go wrong.

I'm walking around this "staged" 1.5 million dollar house imagining parties I will host, the novels I will write in the room that overlooks the avenues, and the dozens of suitors I will turn away (because I'm a million bucks baby). I imagine waving goodbye to my artist friends who I've just had over for tea and conversation.

Here I am in this home that I am not close, even with all the help in the world or with game show winnings, could ever afford, and yet I become so excited by possibility. Suddenly, I feel inspired to throw out the crap that's been building up in my apartment for years, to make more aggressive steps towards changing my life.

So here's my idea. In the next year, as I learn more and more about adult things like buying property, Roth IRAs, and that kind of grown-up crap that I've been so anti-establishment to ever look at seriously before-- I'm also going to go to open houses. In all sorts of neighborhoods that I can't afford. I want to go to homes in Malibu and Brentwood that have been "staged," tell realtors that I'm looking in the $2-10 million dollar range, and sit there in these perfect houses and imagine the narrative for the rest of my life and then makes steps to get there.

Who's coming with me to the open house?

(Oh f*ck you, you know this visualization shit works.)

Labels: property mogul, the secret

So I'm up in San Francisco again for a grant panel. And now I'm headed back again next week for Takesgiving.

My three day run in Los Angeles this week was nuts. I did a show, got interviewed for current tv about the car, did some acting work, went to a rehearsal at CBS, threw out a bunch of crap from the apartment. Then ran back to the airport to sit on a grant panel in SF. I'm actually in the process of re-establishing residency in San Francisco (and will be living both here and in LA when there is work). I can't wait because there's so much more grant money here for the arts.

So...I have been giving this real estate thing another thought. I don't know if I'm going to be a slumlord in Indiana. This global warming/ end of the world thing is kinda making me wonder if it makes sense to own anything anymore. Like isn't the world going to just explode soon? And will is even matter to own property? Shouldn't I just spend my money on margaritas and a good massage?

If only there was a scientist who could weigh these options for me.

One of my friends who now owns sent me some interesting things to ask myself...

"Do I want the length of my life in Los Angeles to be determined by a
housing market or by me?
Am I making enough money and can I commit to making that much money,
that is, never again making less money, for the rest of my life?
Do I love the place or am I just in love with the idea of being a
homeowner?
Can I do all that homeowner crap on my own (unless you got married
recently and I just missed that somehow)?"

And there's also the fact that while I may not seem to be "directly" impacted by the mortgage crisis and could stand to own for the first time out of it, I am part of the economy and could easily be a homeowner with flailing arms trying to figure out what to do in a rocky home owning economy. So for now, renting is ok.

All I know is, I'm having a rough time today where I am feeling under-accomplished and overwhelmed by life. I'm running into artists doing as much as I take on, if not more, and some of them have kids, and even had a wild past where they are now sobered up meth addicts. I don't even have the excuse that I was a meth addict to account for a lot of wasted time in my 20's. Just sleeping too much and being involved in too many projects that never got finished. I can't imagine having a kid on top of it.

Do you ever feel like I do right now? Like despite having done a lot in your life, it still isn't enough?

Thoughts please.

Labels: empowerment, hollywood wong, i'm kristina wong, property mogul, the secret, vision

Last week I was feeling disgruntled for all the paperwork that seems to go into keeping me alive. On a quiet and lonely Saturday night, I was too exhausted to go out and enjoy the evening, and had too much work to finish to move.

Then I open my mail to find I got approved for a grant that will help me pay for a web designer, arts writer, and booking assistant for the next few months.

It was a very sweet moment to have. Alone in my apartment. On a Saturday night on an empty and growling stomach. Holding that acceptance letter.

I wrote this grant during my existential crisis this past summer. I recall it took me a whole week of moaning and groaning and a cup of tears to finish. I even drove to the airport post office to get it in by the postmark deadline.

By corporate standards it's a small amount I will receive, but it will do me so much good. I am not complaining at all. It's the absolute best investment I will make. And finally, I see the possibility of being a balanced artist again.

So if anyone is interested...I am hiring a booking assistant (preferably with experience in booking live theater) and an arts writer/publicist who can help sass up the writing on my website and marketing materials. There is pay! Send your resumes!

One of my students Saturday said, "Kristina I was reading your blog. It's so interesting to see how you've progressed over time."

Indeed. A few years ago I contemplated selling my underwear over the internet. I'd wake up every morning panicked and discouraged. It sucked.

Now I can take care of myself. And I bring in others to help me because there is so much abundance to manage. And it's a great feeling.

Thank you.

Labels: art talk, artist life., balance, empowerment, the secret

Ok screw it. There will be no recap of my time in Greece. There's just no time anymore to reflect on the past and the good ol' times. I may do a video blog of it to save time.

I'm totally slammed with work and preparing for my show in Berkeley next weekend. It's kinda stressful because the show next week I agreed to in December and is based on ticket sales only. So I will be lucky to break even after all my show costs. I was going to scream a couple weeks ago when I was labeling my own postcards by hand. Aren't I past the point where I am still hustling one by one for my own audience? It can be so discouraging.

BUCK UP KRISTINA!

What has been a blessing is that I've started to work with apprentices who are helping me with this kind of work in exchange for picking my brain. It's a new transition for me to start letting go of doing the busy work so that I can be more productive as an artist. But also, a way to pass the knowledge.

But it is a good show to get me back on my feet for the dates I have ahead. In rehearsals I've been a mess. I feel like a baseball player coming out of retirement. Because my script is an outline, Nurit has had to help me remember lines from the show. And when I screw up, I start punching and kicking the air, gather my composure and push on through. This happens with live theater. My body and life enter the same text and story at a different place and in ways it becomes a different show.

I thought I became an artist because it was supposed to be a more relaxed existence. I feel like I spend more time at the computer dealing with invoicing, writing grants (wrote four in the last two weeks) than rehearsing or writing work. I also feel totally out of touch with reality sometimes because I spend so much time at home dealing with the particulars of staying alive as a solo artist. I'm working on this balance thing. I really am.

I have gone without a car for two weeks now. I've been paying for the bus with the pennies from my penny jar to get rid of my pennies. It's hilarious. The car is at the shop in for major repairs. Hopefully this will be the last of my nightmare car and all it's nightmare issues.

Have you ever done a budget to figure out what it costs for you to live for one year? I am doing one now and it is freaking scary! For someone who doesn't need a lot to live, I sure am expensive to keep alive! I started heaving and hoing, huffing and puffing about how the heck it is I am to keep coming up with that kind of money to stay alive.

Then I started listening to the mp3s available from www.mastersofthesecret.com.

It kind of made me realize that I need to relax and say yes (yet again) to possibility to prosperity and all that stuff.

Or perhaps, start my own self help series and make millions off of those who need help!

MILLIONS I SAY!!!!


Btw, I'm at Starbucks now. Has anyone noticed how many poor people there are at the Starbucks? Like students and semi-homeless people? And then there are business men talking about mergers at the table next to them. Even I don't treat myself to Starbucks because it's expensive! I just come here for the wifi. The last thing I need is a $4/day coffee habit. The last thing my crazy ass needs is caffiene! But a lot of the people here now span from poor and upper middle class. Perhaps this is the world under Starbucks... in the end we all worship under one name brand.

Labels: artist life, kristina is so bitchy this week, sex is unnecessary when you have yarn, the secret

Well, so since this morning it's all kind of sinking downhill and out of my control. I get my first golden shower ever, and it's from my cat. And then the day just dwindles into total unproductivity as I follow my cat around the apartment to make sure he won't have another accident. I'm so sick and tired of this cat. As I was lifting sheets off the bed I could smell some OLD pee smell from some other blankets. I feel like some wretched monster lady and I know I'm not.

This is the thing, my apartment is pretty tidy. It is! Ever since I started working with a housekeeper. When it was messy, he didn't have accidents like this. I feel like I'm falling apart today. It's so terrible. I was all empowered and motivated this year and today, it felt like everything fell apart. I'm trying so hard to cling to the details from "The Secret" but can't. Today, I give up. I'm exhausted.

It probably doesn't help that I went on the master cleanse today. And that my stomach is totally cramping and I'm getting light headed.

I'm looking at this cat and have no clue what to do with him.

I am turning on comments now for my blog because I feel like such a sad ass lonely cat lady and need to reach out to the world. If people leave mean comments though, I'm going to turn it off.

Please tell me I'm not alone here.

Man, something is just weird about today. Doesn't feel right. I want to go to bed and do it over tomorrow.

Thanks for listening.

Labels: bad day, cat lady, cat pee, golden shower, master cleanse, neediness., the secret