I did it. Four DIFFERENT shows in one week. Two cities. And unlike Jesse Spano... NO NERVOUS BREAKDOWN!

I just got back from San Francisco. I presented my Carless Comedy show Sunday. Saturday was the LA Storyteller Festival where I did two different pieces. Then Tuesday and Friday, I did the "Whoring for Hollywood" show with D'Lo at the LA Comedy Festival.

The storytelling community is no joke. Imagine folks from a renaissance fair and like an audience whose median age is 65 all mixed together. I wasn't sure how this crowd would take me. They are so sincere and so into folklore and myths. And I just do the strange things that I do. I was programmed in the "Fringe Tales" concerts which was their way of saying, "Filthy, saucy, dirty stories". I kept joking that they should have named "Fringe Tales"-- the "Motherf*cking Stories!" show.


My whole family came out to see me! And didn't disown me after!

The adrenaline from NYC and doing five new shows in five days still follows me. It was a huge challenge, but I made it through this week and kicked ass each time. It feels so great.

How'd I get through this week? I just took it day by day. On Sunday after my plane landed, I worked furiously at my parents' house to tack on 10 new minutes of material to my carless show. I was wondering if the disconnect between LA and SF would make a difference, but it really was a hit. The San Francisco audience was with me even though I was talking about trying to get around LA. And can I blame them? Who else could tell this insane story of owning a money pit car that ran on vegetable oil and then it catching on fire? Followed by my stories on the bus. I got this topic on lock down!

THIS CARLESS SHOW IS KILLING!!!!

I'm dreaming up more places that this carless experience can take me, and already, opportunities to tour and talk about this are presenting themselves all over the country. I'm talking books, radio, panels, commissions-- it's endless where this can all go.

Jesus! Spending all that money on a shit car, almost dying in a car fire, and then going carless in Los Angeles is the best thing that ever happened to me!

I've been really fulfilling my recession year goal of creating as much new work as possible, not getting stuck in a creative rut. Nelson Mandela wrote books from prison... I can certainly make shows for any space. I hit a lot of post-partum creative depression when Cuckoo's Nest was finally "done" but I'm feeling so good as I look ahead and finally see that I'm going to do the work, not the work around doing the work.

Give me a concert hall! Give me a lecture hall! I can do it! And most importantly, I'm more in practice as an artist than as an artist than as an arts administrator.

I think life is lining up nicely. I've just decided to run forward and not look back. Who's coming?

Labels: The Wong Sans Wheels Chronicles, veggie oil car, vision

I find that great public transportation days will completely restore my faith in Los Angeles living. I had an audition in Hollywood Monday morning then was to shoot a short film in Woodland Hills later that afternoon. It was one of those hypothetical carless situations I've dreaded for so long... having to get from one place to god knows where in a short time frame.

I worked it out with the director of the short film to meet at her school in Reseda and she would take me from there to Woodland Hills. The schedule gets so crazy, that I don't shoot a lot of student films, but she sought me out from my website and was willing to chauffer me from Silverlake if I wanted... so who was I to say no? I decided it was ridiculous to make her drive down the 101 and back up, so I volunteered to see what this "orange line" was and if it was possible to get to BFE Reseda in such a short amount of time.

But it turns out, it's actually easier for me to get to Reseda from Hollywood than from Silverlake to West LA. The wonders of our underused subway! I'm a huge fan of it. I actually think I got there faster than if I drove the freeways. The orange line runs on this dedicated street called "Busway" where no other cars go. I got there and back in a predictable and reasonable amount of time. I even hit Happy Hour at Akbar with my friend Greg before cruising home. It was so... New York. I loved the novelty of riding the bus for convenience in LA!

Sure, there were some moments at the bus stop. The man with the adult diaper peeking out from his stained denim jeans who volunteered without solicitation "you beautiful girl." Or the older Latino man at Vermont and Santa Monica who mumbled "Chinatown" while pointing at my face.

As a modern woman, I should embrace any and all compliments! Even if they come from derelicts at the bus stop!

Ugh.


In other news.... I'm still looking for a name for this Carless show. And I'm taking your votes and suggestions... I can't seem to find anything as clever as "Wong Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"

Here are some bleh ideas I had for titles:

The Wong Sans Wheels Chronicles
Carless in LA (I find this too easy)
Car Porn (trying too hard)
Car Porn: My Love Affair with an Older Car



I put a call out on Facebook and my friends contributed these suggestions, notice how people tried to be helpful by beating the shit out of my last name...

• The Kristina Wong Show
• DMV... DOA...in LA!
• Post- Fire, Walk With Me?
• in my shoes, literally.
• "How Pedestrian."
• Wonging in LA
• B*U*S*T*E*D
• Grease fires; not just for kitchens anymore
• Soles on Fire: Wong on Wong
• "That's Just Wong"
• "That's So Wong"
• Walk This Way-
• When the Veggie Breaks"?
• "All last night sat on the veggie and moaned/ Thinking about my baby and my happy home/ Going down down down down down now"
• Like water and oil Kristina and cars.
• green fury
• Who's Gonna Drive Me Home, Tonight?" (you can't go on, thinking nothing's wrong)
• "I'm on the Highway to Hell"
• "Lord, Won't You Buy me a Mercedes Benz?"
• "I Can't Drive . . . 55"
• "It Ain't Easy Being Green"
• "Who's Gonna Drive Me Home, Tonight?" (you can't go on, thinking nothing's WONG)
• "I Fought the Car . . . and the Car Won"
• "Shitty, Shitty, Bang, Bang"
• "The Up In Smoke Tour"
• Hoofing the Wong
• Hoofing Wong
• My Greasecar Done Blow'd Up Real Good
• Grease
• I am sexiest at the bus stop
• Karmama
• For I Have No Car And I Must Scream
• crisco inferno
• Wok no Roll
• Without a Car in the World
• Bicycles and the Big Blues
• 'on foot veggie car kaput'
• Wong Turn
• BUSting Loose!
• Foot Traffic, Veggie Car Blues and other stories
• Pun Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, oops, wrong show....I mean, WONG show

I am liking the ones with song titles kind of built in. Any ideas for me?

Labels: The Wong Sans Wheels Chronicles, veggie oil car

Watch out world! I'm throwing down 62 clams in the month of August to buy my first LA Metro bus pass. I'm thinking I'll wear it around my neck in a plastic laminated necklace like the abuelitas do and push my granny cart filled with groceries up and down Sunset Blvd. I actually don't know that I ride the bus enough to warrant owning a bus pass. I have to ride the bus 49 times next month to make the "bus ride buffet" ticket worthwhile but I'm home for a full month (for once) so I thought I'd live it up.

Things are getting super busy here very fast. Summers tend to be "downtime" for me. I'm seeing crazy things happen in my line of work. I was in talks with New World Theater at UMass Amherst to bring Wong Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest in 2010. Then just a month later, New World Theater had their funding completely cut off by the university! This is pretty ugly as this institution has been around for 30+ years.

I did get a very huge break a few months ago with a MAPFUND grant to develop my new "CAT LADY" show but I haven't been able to secure a premiere venue or NPN co-commissioner. It's not that the interest isn't there, it's just that every theater on earth is watching their budget. There's a definite and palpable slowdown in the arts.

So I've decided that rather than wail and flail in panic, I'm going to use the money that I had set aside for a car to invest in a new computer and a video camera. And I'm thinking of turning part of the living room in my new Silverlake House into a set that I can shoot different shows in. I'm long overdue for a tech upgrade, I've been using the same laptop for five years! And it's really hot and slow. So look out world, not only will this lady be rocking a bus pass but also a video blog!



I will admit that I've been looking at ads for cars. It's really tempting to buy one. To be able to get to West LA in one hour as opposed to two. These ads are misleading though... this "Cash for Clunkers" thing is so dumb. How is it a 5 year old car can qualify as a clunker but my Mercedes that caught on fire on the 405 couldn't? Bleh, forget it.



Quite a few of my creative friends are complaining about going broke this summer and I've mentioned several times in my blogs how it's hard to not get sucked into poverty mentality when the news and all your friends are dragging the sky down around you. I find myself having days where I'm like, "Oh god! It's over! I give up!"

I'm losing sympathy for my friends going who complain of being broke. Their standards of broke are "first world broke." I have a friend who is a sex worker and says she's having "survival sex" for money and yet owns a laptop, cell phone, and car. I have another friend who owes me $500 and he's had months to pay me back, and he calls me from his cell phone to tell me he has run off to New York City (for a vacation).

If you are broke, suck it up, grow up, and deal with it. Because nobody with an IPhone is a victim of anything.

People keep asking me for help with getting money to do their art. The requests were at first flattering because it really felt as if they regard me as successful. But now theses requests have become kind of irritating, like I'm some kind of magic fairy that can say three things to make things happen. If you go way back into my very first blogs, you'll know, I've been at this game for YEARS and only started to make a full time living at it in the last four years. And if you know me well enough, you know it was REALLY REALLY UGLY when I was first at this.

I see people I haven't seen in a while and the first thing they say is, "Hi Kristina! Can you help me get grant money?"

("Yeah. Nice to see you too.")

Is there a sign on my head that says: "My name is Kristina Wong and I can show you how easy it is to get money because I have nothing better to do?" I mean I try to be supportive of people but I feel like that generosity gets taken advantage of.


People asking me to lead them to "magic grant money" irritates me one three levels:

First, I spend 20 hours (if not more) a week doing work related to generating income for my art (that is not my actual art) and most people aren't willing to put up the BS of arts admin. Even when I've taken the time to explain to people how it all works, they either don't apply for the grant that I just walked them through or ask me to repeat the information to them as if the explanation will become somehow easier. My biggest pet peeve is when they ask me to send copies of my grants so they can play mad libs with them, as if we weren't doing completely different projects.

Second, I probably make the same amount as many of my artist friends "who are always broke"-- the difference is that I manage my finances differently. A lot of my broke friends would not be broke if they just learned to not spend money on stuff they don't need or buy so much stuff on credit. So it's not that I have more money than other people, I just allocate my money differently when I get it.

And third, there is no "magic grant money." Like any other thing that's earned in this world. Money for your art is also earned, not thrown around to random people like a sweepstakes prize.

So my artist friends going broke but texting away on your iphone... do you need a bail out? Here it is!

NINE Cash for Clunkers Tips for Creatives going Broke who keep asking me to help them with money:

1. Run Away
If you can't get a job and your career is not going anywhere, sublet your place, give up your apartment, sell your things, and run off to an artist's retreat where you can live for free. Unfortunately, most of them don't pay you to be there or accommodate kids. If you can't get into an artist's retreat, move in with your parents and be their "loser" 30-something kid who writes screenplays in the basement. Nobody will judge you if they can't see you! Yay! You just freed up $400-1000 a month in rent!

2. Get someone to burn you a bootleg copy of The Secret and watch it over and over again until you sound possessed.
I am critical of The Secret (ie "The Unofficial Orientation Video for New Angelinos") because it does place much too much emphasis on material wealth. But hey, it's Metaphysics for Dummies! There is a critical third step to the process of the Secret that people often forget-- ACTION. So stop complaining that nobody sent you $100 after you watched The Secret and start taking action. (And taking action does asking me to lead you through the short cut to money. Because I only know the long route.)

3. Sell your car and get a bus pass.
If you really need money that badly, get over your "I need my car" bullshit and get rid of your car. Cancel your insurance. Cancel your AAA membership. Cancel your gym membership (because the city streets just turned into your gym). Yay! You just freed up $500 a month plus whatever you got for your car.

4. Find something less expensive to replace your drug habit.
Get money. Get stoned. Can't remember where your money went. Get money. Get stoned. Can't remember where your money went. Why do broke people still have money for pot? Here's a suggestion of how to get high instead. Put on a Bob Marley cd, then run around really fast backwards in the hot sun without water, then try to recite poetry, then get a friend to say "whoa, that's brilliant" at every line. Yay! You just freed up $50-300 a month.

5. Don't be a bottom feeder.
If you ever done movie background work, you've probably met "background lifers." The people who only talk about doing extra work and getting more extra work, and yet, still think this will lead to something bigger. If you get too obsessed with the stones lining the walkway, you'll never get to see the inside of the house. Sometimes the "hunting and gathering" way of the artist life prevents us from thinking about the big picture. So think from the top down. Think beyond survival.

6. Drop your $$$ scene study class and take creative classes at TeAda Camp instead. I'm teaching and am a student in at TeAda's summer camp for adults that's super affordable for creative people who want to expand their skillset on a budget. You can take classes in movement, voice, acting, improv, yoga and writing for as low as $10 a class. They are drop-in classes so you don't have to commit to months and months of training. The classes are cheap as hell and a good alternative to that overpriced overhyped stuff offered all over LA. Yay! You just freed up $200-400 a month (depending on what pyramid scheme acting school you were previously enrolled in.)

7. Kick the deadbeat to the curb. (Several times in the head if necessary.)
Are you in a shitty relationship and giving the guy/girl money/ free rent/ food on top of it? Say good- bye! This one is especially for my creative lady friends who are with men who can't take care of themselves and freeload off your generosity. You deserve a partner who can take care of him or herself and therefore, can support you when you need it. You are not a rescuer. You are not a social worker. You will find better. I've kicked a few deadbeats to the curb myself and never looked back. Yay! You've just freed up 200 lbs of dead weight!

8. Manage your money between several different checking accounts.
If you are an artist working for yourself, the worst financial thing you can do is pile up all your income into one checking account. You should not pay your rent and your director out of the same account. You should not deposit your big grant check in the same account that you pay for food. I recommend two accounts-- a business account and personal account. And have two separate credit cards for business and personal expenses.

Figure out what your personal budget is each month to live. This amount should be your salary and every month write yourself a check from the business account to the personal account in this amount. Even if this means you have several checking accounts with a $0 balance, you will at least get into the habit of managing your money and treating the work you do as a professional.

Ideally, you should have several accounts. (This is something I am still trying to organize in my own life.) You should have a business account, a personal account, an education account (for paying for things to further your learning and growth), a splurge account, an investments fund. There are other methods for breaking these accounts up. When you get money, get in the habit of dividing money in each of these accounts. Yay! You are saving towards retirement!

9. Stop buying shit.
Use the library, wear things twice, make new things out of old things. Make presents for your friends. Our economy is a mess and we're told to save money by not buying things, but the only way the economy will move is if we buy things. What gives? Run away from the need to buy stuff that can be borrowed, bartered or made! I was going to buy a VHS to DVD converter to convert my analog archives to 0's and 1's but found out there was one I could use at the SAG Foundation for free. Yay! I just saved $150!


Presents I made for my friends' kids.

There! Now stop asking me to help you get money. Or at least have a real conversation with me before you ask. I just helped you get lots of money. If you need more help, I'll be at the bus stop waiting for you to give me a ride to the next big thing!

Labels: artist life., kristina is so bitchy this week, losing my mind in los angeles, property mogul, the secret, The Wong Sans Wheels Chronicles, veggie oil car, vision

I'm in Seattle in a cute little coffee house in the I District. The weather is like the worst of San Francisco all day long. But seeing a real winter with falling leaves has it's charm. I only know winters in LA because the City puts up holiday decorations on Wilshire and there is a temporary ice skating rink in Santa Monica.

I got in yesterday and I've been staying with my composer friend Byron who helped me find a tv set so we could watch a "Double Shot at Love" with the Ikki twins.

It was feminist research.

After two seasons of Tila Tequila, just when you didn't think it couldn't get worse, the folks at MTV looked under the bottom of the barrel and found two obscure import models who are both "bisexual." They are quite homely looking and uninteresting. But they are much more convincing at being bisexual than Tila Tequila was.

We ended up watching the show at my friend Howard's boyfriend's place. It was so funny to watch the show with three gay men. They really got into it and were commenting on the selection of straight men as if they were the Ikki twins.

There's much more critical theory I can go into about reality dating tv shows. But I won't.

I randomly got a comment today on an old and really personal blog entry I made over two years ago, back when I was in a relationship (that was actually disintegrating partly because my career "blowing up"-- at least that's what I'd like to think had happened.... ). That was a weird blog entry to reread. I can't believe I put it out there. Oh well. So it goes.

And now two years later, I still find myself in somewhat of the same boat. Still traveling the country, alone, coming home to the cat. Except, I'm married to myself. Which (somehow) helped ease the feelings of being crazy when I'm on the road alone. It was a hard life to get used to but time has made me slightly more resigned to this roaming the country with my art as being a way of life.

Just ten years ago I hated being alone. I didn't know what to do myself if dropped off in a new place to explore. And now, it's a marvelous way of living. I guess.

I am weary of traveling alone as a single Asian woman in other parts of the world. Safety is a huge concern. As is feeling marked by my body. I went to Europe in college and the incessant screams of "Konichiwa!" in the street were enough to make me punch someone's lights out.

I'd like to pow-wow with other single women artists of color my age who make a living doing creative work and have to travel so much to make a living. Are we the revolutionaries of our generation? Or the new spinsters?

Speaking of unmarried spinsterism, I am actually hanging out with my friend Wes Kim tonight and spinning yarn with his wife after dinner on her spinning wheel. It's all I've been looking forward to about coming to Seattle all year.

The Wong Sans Wheels Chronicles #7

I also realize I have not blogged about being carless in a while. So here is the update.

The good. The bus means I've actually been reading the newspaper instead of letting them pile up in the house still bound. And I've been reading books! My mind has been wandering back to a more creative space now that I don't have to stare at the ass of a car in traffic for hours on end. I also have a lot more money at the end of each month which I blow on booze.

There are some downers about it. Like, I was offered a free month of acting classes, except they were in Burbank which is a pain to get to, especially at night-- do I rent a car just to go to that class? Or do I just pay for classes that are in my area for the equivalent amount? There are also tight time frames that I can't do. I used to have this ritual on Sunday of going to the Farmer's Market, getting a tamale, and then going to church, and maybe after going for Ethiopian food after. But I can only choose one of the three. It's also trickier to do a lot of errands, even if they are along the bus route home. Like I can't just jump off the bus, do the errand, and get back on like it's the subway in NY. I'd have to buy a day pass and be prepared to wait and wait and wait at the stop and only do errands where I won't have to pick up things that are super heavy.

The quirks. The poop pee vomit smell on some of the buses is no fun, nor is the more eclectic company of homeless people I wait at the stops with. Though it is interesting to see how long some of them can sustain conversations with themselves.

I've been researching backpacks with wheels to make things easier on my back when I have things like a laptop and stuff to lug around. This is admittedly a baby step towards becoming a total bag lady. Though I think I've already gotten there in the shopping cart that I keep padlocked to my balcony.

Byron is also turning me on to getting an electric bike. That way I can get up hills and do long distances easier without having to get a special license or scooter insurance. The issue is... electric bikes are around $1400! Bleh.

I still haven't quite figured out the safest way out of downtown at night. The other night I went to visit my manager in Downtown LA and even though it was only 8pm when I left, it was kinda sheisty out. I insisted on waiting for the 720 which is a half block from his office, but when these homeless people started screaming at each other, he walked me to Pershing Square to get home, so that I wouldn't be waiting at the 720 stop like a big target. He's actually quite supportive of me going carless and excited about this new show I'm (supposed to be) working on about LA carlessness because he's from NY. I thought when my car caught on fire that he'd be like, "You need to get a car! How are you going to take meetings in this town without a car?" But he seems to sympathize with my car trauma. Though he does say I'm being "really hardcore" to go so long without a car.

I still have car owner phobia. It's a good time now to buy a new car because nobody is buying cars plus car dealers are desperately trying to meet end of year quotas. But I'd so much rather put that money into a house or my friend's restaurant. And even the idea of having to buy new tires or get an oil change sends shivers of post-traumatic Harold stress down my back.

I have dreams about owning cars. At least twice I've had dreams about owning a smart car (those little two seaters). Harold (my old veg oil car) has shown up in a couple dreams too. I also had a dream that my grandpa was driving me around because I had no car.

I met someone the other day who owns a vegetable oil car. She said her car was doing fine. I felt so alone in my veggie-car-on-fire sadness. How come I seem to be the only one whose car caught on fire after thousands of dollars in repairs? Why me?! Why?!

I think this new carless show will be a love story/ story about an abusive relationship. The automobile that betrayed me. The ones that call me back to own them. And how I fight his beckon call to instead, travel about the world on my own two feet (and bus pass). Smelling like someone else's vomit.

Labels: artist life, cat lady, cat pee, hollywood wong, road wong, sex is unnecessary when you have yarn., The Wong Sans Wheels Chronicles, veggie oil car

The good news! I'm ok and escaped with no injuries. And everyone who drove past my car while 20 foot flames enveloped it is ok too.

But what a surreal day. I get to LAX from San Francisco at 10am. Get into the car at 1pm for a meeting in the Valley and at 1:30pm, I am at the Victory exit calling 911 to extinguish the car. Right at the tip of the exit.

I was quite calm while watching it. I'm really learning how your possessions can possess you and was quite relieved that I would not be taking that car in for another repair ever again.

The entire hood and engine has melted. My big pink car is gone. And now I am carless. I had no insurance to cover fire damage. And right now, no desire to own a car again.

It's going to be ok. I had been thinking for some time that I wanted to go carless. This car was a total money and time suck. And I guess the car has made its mind up for me. I shall live without a car in Los Angeles.

I'm already adding it up. Life without a car means no car insurance, no REPAIRS, no fuel, no parking, no AAA membership, no DMV registration costs, and absolutely no carbon footprint.

It will be tricky to get to auditions, meetings, and shows without a car. But I have friends who've been doing it for years. And my ass needs to get back on my bike.

Can I get a ride anyone?

Labels: veggie oil car

I know I must seem annoyingly utopic to read, especially if you are at your day job when you read my blog and I'm here on the beach being artsy.

"Damn that Kristina Wong for getting to go to Florida to be an artist."

I'm sad it will be over soon, I will have to head back to LA in less than two weeks, and I have to go back to my life of squeezing creative time between administrative errands that afford me the creative space. When I return, I am committed to changing my habits so that I really make more creative space in my life and don't get drowned in the particulars.

Add to my new crack-like addictions (which already included crafts, knitting, bikes and VH1)--- my new addiction to CNN. CNN is much easier on the eyes with Obama running for office. But watching so much CNN can cause panic about the future.

How am I going to fuel my vegetable oil car!? How will I survive this economy? How will I afford to eat if we run out of food? What about Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae and Indymac?!?! What will I do if the arts world dries up and there is no more milk for this little kitty to lap?

PANIC PANIC PANIC!!!

No friends, we can't panic. We just can't. I don't know what the answers to all this crap of the world are... BUT we must have vision and look at the future and be creative and say, "How can we find ways to still be happy and enjoy ourselves in the midst of this panic?"

For me, I like to sew things. And it makes me happy. And I've gotten to read a lot of books. I'm also reading a book my friend Danielle gave me many years ago called "Succulent Wild Woman" by Sark. Sark talks about learning to live with and without money. And not letting your money define your identity. She talks about how women should get married to themselves (sound familiar?) and having tea parties for other great women.

The other artist here Sonja and I have become great friends. She's my best friend here besides Bruce the director of the Hermitage. Yes, there are just three people here. And I love them.

Sonja wrote a nice blog about me.

Little things are great things that make life great. So don't be scared of the future Kristina, you can handle anything!

Labels: crafty, i'm kristina wong, road wong, the secret, vacation?, veggie oil car, vision

Since I bought Harold (my car's name) almost two years ago, I keep getting questions about the car and whether or not I can recommend Lovecraft, etc. etc . And I've kept a tight lip about my REAL experience with Lovecraft's original owner (Brian Friedman/ Brian Lovecraft) who sold me my car. The reason why I didn't tell anyone how bad he was to me was I was scared if I talked smack, he would never fix my car (which he didn't fix anyway). The relationship we had as car seller and car buyer was like an abusive ex-boyfriend who has your stuff and a hapless ex-girlfriend who has to be nice to get it back.

Anyway, Lovecraft's new owner, Tacee, made good on Brian's loaded promises and repaired the car so it is now safe to drive.

Well, the LA Times article is out and now you can read about this whole hipster soap opera yourself. Yay! I have a nice little weight off me!

Labels: press, veggie oil car

So, I've been staying at my friend D'lo's in Santa Monica for the two day stint I'm here. (I'm frantically packing now by the way.) I parked my car by 9th and Washington and come back to see a note on my car in serial killer writing that says "I have cleaned WVO for you. -Mark" With a phone number.

"Cleaned WVO" for those not in the know is clean, usable vegetable oil that can be used for fuel.

I threw caution to the wind and decided to call the number. The guy who answered told me to meet him at night in the alley way behind his building to buy some of his oil at 50 cents a gallon.

Was it a hoax? Perhaps he knew me by my car and the LA Times story and was luring me into an alley way.

But it was so cheap! I couldn't back down!

Practicing standard safety precautions, I told like 8 million people by phone: "Ok, please call the police if you don't hear from me by 8:30pm. I got a tip on a hot used vegetable oil source and for only 50 cents a gallon. I gotta look into this, even if it's taking a chance with my life."

So anyway, long story short. I did go into the dark alleyway and there he was! A perfectly normal dude with way too much clean used vegetable oil. I slapped him over 8 bucks and he filled my tank.

And now it looks like I got the cheapest oil source in town! I will only share him with people who come to my shows and love me to death.

Selfish? Yes. You have to be when it comes to fuel at 50 cents a gallon!

She shoots, she scores!

Labels: veggie oil car