I did it. Four DIFFERENT shows in one week. Two cities. And unlike Jesse Spano... NO NERVOUS BREAKDOWN!

I just got back from San Francisco. I presented my Carless Comedy show Sunday. Saturday was the LA Storyteller Festival where I did two different pieces. Then Tuesday and Friday, I did the "Whoring for Hollywood" show with D'Lo at the LA Comedy Festival.

The storytelling community is no joke. Imagine folks from a renaissance fair and like an audience whose median age is 65 all mixed together. I wasn't sure how this crowd would take me. They are so sincere and so into folklore and myths. And I just do the strange things that I do. I was programmed in the "Fringe Tales" concerts which was their way of saying, "Filthy, saucy, dirty stories". I kept joking that they should have named "Fringe Tales"-- the "Motherf*cking Stories!" show.


My whole family came out to see me! And didn't disown me after!

The adrenaline from NYC and doing five new shows in five days still follows me. It was a huge challenge, but I made it through this week and kicked ass each time. It feels so great.

How'd I get through this week? I just took it day by day. On Sunday after my plane landed, I worked furiously at my parents' house to tack on 10 new minutes of material to my carless show. I was wondering if the disconnect between LA and SF would make a difference, but it really was a hit. The San Francisco audience was with me even though I was talking about trying to get around LA. And can I blame them? Who else could tell this insane story of owning a money pit car that ran on vegetable oil and then it catching on fire? Followed by my stories on the bus. I got this topic on lock down!

THIS CARLESS SHOW IS KILLING!!!!

I'm dreaming up more places that this carless experience can take me, and already, opportunities to tour and talk about this are presenting themselves all over the country. I'm talking books, radio, panels, commissions-- it's endless where this can all go.

Jesus! Spending all that money on a shit car, almost dying in a car fire, and then going carless in Los Angeles is the best thing that ever happened to me!

I've been really fulfilling my recession year goal of creating as much new work as possible, not getting stuck in a creative rut. Nelson Mandela wrote books from prison... I can certainly make shows for any space. I hit a lot of post-partum creative depression when Cuckoo's Nest was finally "done" but I'm feeling so good as I look ahead and finally see that I'm going to do the work, not the work around doing the work.

Give me a concert hall! Give me a lecture hall! I can do it! And most importantly, I'm more in practice as an artist than as an artist than as an arts administrator.

I think life is lining up nicely. I've just decided to run forward and not look back. Who's coming?

Labels: The Wong Sans Wheels Chronicles, veggie oil car, vision

There was a lot of great feedback from my last Cash for Clunkers post with ideas for Creatives to survive... NO, make that thrive in a recession. I thought I'd post more related less to money and more towards growing joy in life. Here are ideas that I've been referring to a lot lately and that I've figured out over a good long lifetime. Some of these ideas are adapted from books I've read, some I've discovered, and others are from creative friends who've made livings doing more insanely obscure things than me.

Good luck! It's the creatives that will help lead us to the light.

More Cash for Clunkers Tips: #10-19

10. Don’t ever ever ever let people characterize you as “broke” or “starving” and don’t ever describe yourself as those things out loud even if you are thinking it or its your "reality." If you romanticize the idea of struggling, you will be your own self-fulfilling prophecy. ”Broke” and “artist” are not synonymous unless you say they are.

Other words to eliminate from your vocabulary: "victim" (best replaced with the word “survivor”), “struggling” (best replaced with "mastering") and “trying” (ie You are a writer, you are not trying to be a writer.)

11. Grow an herb garden. Even if all you have is a tiny windowsill and a small handful of dirt. Sometimes when the world is falling apart, it helps have something nuture you as you nuture it. Grow things you can eat. Enjoy the novelty of harvesting your own food. Invite folks over to have a salad that you grew yourself. Watching the slow process it takes for a plant to grow will keep you from overbuying food or wasting food. If you kill your garden by accident, find a better place to garden, or start watering plants in the neighborhood that aren’t dying. Some easy plants to grow that are fun to eat are sweet basil and mint.

12. Get on that Martha Stewart Living tip and make something to improve your home or make a gift. A rag rug, a sock puppet, or just sew up the holes in your socks. Sure you could have a toddler in Saipan make the same thing for 99 cents, but just like gardening, there is a certain joy that is lost in crafting something with your own time and care. I like the tutorials on threadbanger for ideas of things to make. Some projects take less than 15 minutes.

13. Instead of panicking, write down ten possible solutions to the problem. Then action steps. Yay! You just made a blueprint of what to do. If you're still stuck, go to tip #15 to get help.

14. Distance yourself from complainers, self-victimizers, naysayers, trainwrecks, and energy suckers. Yes, sometimes we are related to them. Yes, there are times when friends need our help. But we can't help them if they try to cripple us with their crap. There are people who need a friend and there are people who want to pass their problems onto someone else. Set boundaries, find private time, do your thing.

15. Invite someone new to dinner with no ulterior motives. I have 1400 Facebook friends and am probably only close to 200 of them. In the isolation of working at home, I decided to start writing some of the ones on the periphery. “Hey, do you want to hang out? Can I take you to dinner?” It helps if someone you invite has expertise in a field you know nothing about because they will give you insight to life that you never considered before. Invite people over who you admire, don't invite the folks I caution against in #14.

16. Work to learn, not to earn. If your job pays well but isn’t ultimately serving or providing any insight into what you want to do with your life, it’s often better to be at a less paying job where you can learn more in your field. If you can’t afford to work to learn in your dream field, then volunteer in your dream field.

17. When meeting people who are in a position to move you forward, remember that as an artist who is in this for the long haul, you are cultivating, not hunting. I’ve realized in how irksome it is to be approached with, “Hi Kristina, can you help me with grants?” Nobody likes being constantly bilked for their time and resources, especially from strangers. I’m always happy to help friends and people who have supported me because we have relationships that have been cultivated over time.

18. Find other ways to ask for “help” besides asking for money. With every non-profit holding out their hat, donors are a little fatigued. Here are some ideas for things you can ask for that may be helpful to your art: production or administrative assistance, airline miles, food for a reception, a contact list, rehearsal space. It’s much easier for people to offer resources or things that they can afford to share than part with money.

19. If you are going to ask for money, make it a positive exchange. Let potential donors know the long-term impact their money will have and how their contributions will be honored. Offer a credit in the product you are making. Breakdown how their money might be used in logical and compelling ways (ie $10 will rent an hour of rehearsal space). Believe it or not, most people would prefer to give money to a reputable and trustworthy person who will use the contribution strategically rather than give their money to temporarily plug the holes in a sinking ship. Email pictures of your progress. Nobody is obligated to give you their money, no matter how much it will help you. So never take it for granted. Graciousness counts.

Labels: buy nothing year, the secret, vision, winnings

Watch out world! I'm throwing down 62 clams in the month of August to buy my first LA Metro bus pass. I'm thinking I'll wear it around my neck in a plastic laminated necklace like the abuelitas do and push my granny cart filled with groceries up and down Sunset Blvd. I actually don't know that I ride the bus enough to warrant owning a bus pass. I have to ride the bus 49 times next month to make the "bus ride buffet" ticket worthwhile but I'm home for a full month (for once) so I thought I'd live it up.

Things are getting super busy here very fast. Summers tend to be "downtime" for me. I'm seeing crazy things happen in my line of work. I was in talks with New World Theater at UMass Amherst to bring Wong Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest in 2010. Then just a month later, New World Theater had their funding completely cut off by the university! This is pretty ugly as this institution has been around for 30+ years.

I did get a very huge break a few months ago with a MAPFUND grant to develop my new "CAT LADY" show but I haven't been able to secure a premiere venue or NPN co-commissioner. It's not that the interest isn't there, it's just that every theater on earth is watching their budget. There's a definite and palpable slowdown in the arts.

So I've decided that rather than wail and flail in panic, I'm going to use the money that I had set aside for a car to invest in a new computer and a video camera. And I'm thinking of turning part of the living room in my new Silverlake House into a set that I can shoot different shows in. I'm long overdue for a tech upgrade, I've been using the same laptop for five years! And it's really hot and slow. So look out world, not only will this lady be rocking a bus pass but also a video blog!



I will admit that I've been looking at ads for cars. It's really tempting to buy one. To be able to get to West LA in one hour as opposed to two. These ads are misleading though... this "Cash for Clunkers" thing is so dumb. How is it a 5 year old car can qualify as a clunker but my Mercedes that caught on fire on the 405 couldn't? Bleh, forget it.



Quite a few of my creative friends are complaining about going broke this summer and I've mentioned several times in my blogs how it's hard to not get sucked into poverty mentality when the news and all your friends are dragging the sky down around you. I find myself having days where I'm like, "Oh god! It's over! I give up!"

I'm losing sympathy for my friends going who complain of being broke. Their standards of broke are "first world broke." I have a friend who is a sex worker and says she's having "survival sex" for money and yet owns a laptop, cell phone, and car. I have another friend who owes me $500 and he's had months to pay me back, and he calls me from his cell phone to tell me he has run off to New York City (for a vacation).

If you are broke, suck it up, grow up, and deal with it. Because nobody with an IPhone is a victim of anything.

People keep asking me for help with getting money to do their art. The requests were at first flattering because it really felt as if they regard me as successful. But now theses requests have become kind of irritating, like I'm some kind of magic fairy that can say three things to make things happen. If you go way back into my very first blogs, you'll know, I've been at this game for YEARS and only started to make a full time living at it in the last four years. And if you know me well enough, you know it was REALLY REALLY UGLY when I was first at this.

I see people I haven't seen in a while and the first thing they say is, "Hi Kristina! Can you help me get grant money?"

("Yeah. Nice to see you too.")

Is there a sign on my head that says: "My name is Kristina Wong and I can show you how easy it is to get money because I have nothing better to do?" I mean I try to be supportive of people but I feel like that generosity gets taken advantage of.


People asking me to lead them to "magic grant money" irritates me one three levels:

First, I spend 20 hours (if not more) a week doing work related to generating income for my art (that is not my actual art) and most people aren't willing to put up the BS of arts admin. Even when I've taken the time to explain to people how it all works, they either don't apply for the grant that I just walked them through or ask me to repeat the information to them as if the explanation will become somehow easier. My biggest pet peeve is when they ask me to send copies of my grants so they can play mad libs with them, as if we weren't doing completely different projects.

Second, I probably make the same amount as many of my artist friends "who are always broke"-- the difference is that I manage my finances differently. A lot of my broke friends would not be broke if they just learned to not spend money on stuff they don't need or buy so much stuff on credit. So it's not that I have more money than other people, I just allocate my money differently when I get it.

And third, there is no "magic grant money." Like any other thing that's earned in this world. Money for your art is also earned, not thrown around to random people like a sweepstakes prize.

So my artist friends going broke but texting away on your iphone... do you need a bail out? Here it is!

NINE Cash for Clunkers Tips for Creatives going Broke who keep asking me to help them with money:

1. Run Away
If you can't get a job and your career is not going anywhere, sublet your place, give up your apartment, sell your things, and run off to an artist's retreat where you can live for free. Unfortunately, most of them don't pay you to be there or accommodate kids. If you can't get into an artist's retreat, move in with your parents and be their "loser" 30-something kid who writes screenplays in the basement. Nobody will judge you if they can't see you! Yay! You just freed up $400-1000 a month in rent!

2. Get someone to burn you a bootleg copy of The Secret and watch it over and over again until you sound possessed.
I am critical of The Secret (ie "The Unofficial Orientation Video for New Angelinos") because it does place much too much emphasis on material wealth. But hey, it's Metaphysics for Dummies! There is a critical third step to the process of the Secret that people often forget-- ACTION. So stop complaining that nobody sent you $100 after you watched The Secret and start taking action. (And taking action does asking me to lead you through the short cut to money. Because I only know the long route.)

3. Sell your car and get a bus pass.
If you really need money that badly, get over your "I need my car" bullshit and get rid of your car. Cancel your insurance. Cancel your AAA membership. Cancel your gym membership (because the city streets just turned into your gym). Yay! You just freed up $500 a month plus whatever you got for your car.

4. Find something less expensive to replace your drug habit.
Get money. Get stoned. Can't remember where your money went. Get money. Get stoned. Can't remember where your money went. Why do broke people still have money for pot? Here's a suggestion of how to get high instead. Put on a Bob Marley cd, then run around really fast backwards in the hot sun without water, then try to recite poetry, then get a friend to say "whoa, that's brilliant" at every line. Yay! You just freed up $50-300 a month.

5. Don't be a bottom feeder.
If you ever done movie background work, you've probably met "background lifers." The people who only talk about doing extra work and getting more extra work, and yet, still think this will lead to something bigger. If you get too obsessed with the stones lining the walkway, you'll never get to see the inside of the house. Sometimes the "hunting and gathering" way of the artist life prevents us from thinking about the big picture. So think from the top down. Think beyond survival.

6. Drop your $$$ scene study class and take creative classes at TeAda Camp instead. I'm teaching and am a student in at TeAda's summer camp for adults that's super affordable for creative people who want to expand their skillset on a budget. You can take classes in movement, voice, acting, improv, yoga and writing for as low as $10 a class. They are drop-in classes so you don't have to commit to months and months of training. The classes are cheap as hell and a good alternative to that overpriced overhyped stuff offered all over LA. Yay! You just freed up $200-400 a month (depending on what pyramid scheme acting school you were previously enrolled in.)

7. Kick the deadbeat to the curb. (Several times in the head if necessary.)
Are you in a shitty relationship and giving the guy/girl money/ free rent/ food on top of it? Say good- bye! This one is especially for my creative lady friends who are with men who can't take care of themselves and freeload off your generosity. You deserve a partner who can take care of him or herself and therefore, can support you when you need it. You are not a rescuer. You are not a social worker. You will find better. I've kicked a few deadbeats to the curb myself and never looked back. Yay! You've just freed up 200 lbs of dead weight!

8. Manage your money between several different checking accounts.
If you are an artist working for yourself, the worst financial thing you can do is pile up all your income into one checking account. You should not pay your rent and your director out of the same account. You should not deposit your big grant check in the same account that you pay for food. I recommend two accounts-- a business account and personal account. And have two separate credit cards for business and personal expenses.

Figure out what your personal budget is each month to live. This amount should be your salary and every month write yourself a check from the business account to the personal account in this amount. Even if this means you have several checking accounts with a $0 balance, you will at least get into the habit of managing your money and treating the work you do as a professional.

Ideally, you should have several accounts. (This is something I am still trying to organize in my own life.) You should have a business account, a personal account, an education account (for paying for things to further your learning and growth), a splurge account, an investments fund. There are other methods for breaking these accounts up. When you get money, get in the habit of dividing money in each of these accounts. Yay! You are saving towards retirement!

9. Stop buying shit.
Use the library, wear things twice, make new things out of old things. Make presents for your friends. Our economy is a mess and we're told to save money by not buying things, but the only way the economy will move is if we buy things. What gives? Run away from the need to buy stuff that can be borrowed, bartered or made! I was going to buy a VHS to DVD converter to convert my analog archives to 0's and 1's but found out there was one I could use at the SAG Foundation for free. Yay! I just saved $150!


Presents I made for my friends' kids.

There! Now stop asking me to help you get money. Or at least have a real conversation with me before you ask. I just helped you get lots of money. If you need more help, I'll be at the bus stop waiting for you to give me a ride to the next big thing!

Labels: artist life., kristina is so bitchy this week, losing my mind in los angeles, property mogul, the secret, The Wong Sans Wheels Chronicles, veggie oil car, vision

Yesterday was tough. I'd anticipated this phone call for some time and when it came it was both sad and relieving.

My grandfather passed away in San Francisco yesterday in the care home he was staying in. He was 89 years old.

He'd been in a great deal of pain and his quality of life had deteriorated for quite some time. It was always so hard for me to say goodbye to him before leaving for LA because I wasn't sure if I'd see him again. I can't quite grasp that he is no longer alive, especially because he's so alive to me in my memory. And also because I am in Homer, Alaska. He practically raised me and my brother when my folks were at work. He was the nicest kindest man in the world. He immigrated to the United States as a teenager, taught himself English, and eventually bought and ran a laundry business and raised a family.

He embodies the American dream. He is my hero.

The one thing I wanted him to give me before he passed was a Chinese name to give my kid-- you know, basically a Kunte Kinte naming moment. And if I don't ever have kids, I guess I'll have a bunch of pets running around with Chinese names. But he said he couldn't think of one and that my "husband's father" should name my kid. A gender thing, I guess. So I tried to get him to give my brother's imaginary kid a Chinese name, with the idea that I would just steal that name for my kid. But no dice.

It was rough to run through the show before we opened to the public yesterday. I couldn't deal with a rehearsal and had to go upstairs to sob to Pete on the phone. He said some really encouraging things about letting myself feel what I needed to feel. That this is all part of life. I got myself back together and went back to rehearse.

I had a couple hours to relax. Then I took a breath and we did the show for a nice sized Thursday crowd here in Homer. I wasn't sure if I would just rely on my "autopilot performer" or if in all my grief I could actually muster up a present performance.

The space is already a bit tricky because it's really a gallery with some theater equipment put in. The show is going along... Then, nightmare of nightmares... the video projector doesn't work. The video projector is integral to the show. A tech disaster of this magnitude has not happened before. I didn't realize it until my technician and the gallery director are running towards me onstage doing frantic tech troubleshoting while this was happening. I vamped, and the audience was really patient and funny about it all.

I did have a moment where I thought, "Just stop the show. Just end it all. You can't do this without your video projector and right now they can't follow any of this. Plus, you're tired." But then another part of me thought, "All these people drove in the Alaska winter to see a show-- your show. So give them a show, broken projector or not. And goddamit Kristina, work it."

So I did the show. We ended up doing part of the show with me holding my laptop up to the audience (so ghetto), and then I had to improvise the absence of the projector.

It actually worked out ok. And the audience who had never seen how the show was supposed to go, said they didn't really miss much without the projections. And another surprise, the part of the show where I cry, was actually very hard for me. I figured my grief would naturally spill into that moment but I guess I do have some boundaries to not exploit one real loss for one fictionalized one on stage.

I ended the night with a big glass of pale at the Irish pub next door. I went to bed feeling wrung dry. At 4am this snow plow that sounded like it had an alarm clock attached to it went zipping in circles around the block for half an hour. I wasn't sure what the sound was at first, I thought that maybe the volcano that is 100 miles away went off and it was the city alarm. It was so loud, I couldn't sleep.

Today it is windy and snowy. The waves are choppy and according to weather.com it feels like negative 11 degrees out. It's quite miserable but fun to watch things blowing around. We've been invited to eat at this Native guy's (Ernie) home. He is gong to cook us deer and fish. I'll only be eating the fish. So kind for people to treat me like family.

I will continue my tour. I am just doing a detour after Alaska. Instead of two days in LA, I will be in San Francisco with my family.

This transition has me feeling older, more responsible, and want to take the reins on life that much more. It's also really confusing to have already been tempted by all these Alaskan breeders and now face the pressure of having to create the third living generation of my family.

One of my new years resolutions was to pursue my life's purpose without abandon. But before that... figure out what it I'm supposed to be here for.

Any ideas what this life thing is all about?

Labels: marriage grown up crap, San Francisco, vision

I woke up, slightly hungover from a lot of late night celebrating to a slew of text messages this morning. They include:

"Pinch me."
"Good morning. No, last night was not a dream. It really is a new day for America."
"Good morning to a new page in American history!"
"Yes we can (crap in our pants)"

I was surprised how early John McCain conceded but he so got his ass handed to him.

Last night, en route to the parties, I was in Soo-Jin's car thinking we had at least another hour to go before any kind of concession. But the swing states have spoken.
I now have faith in Florida, Ohio and Nevada like never before. I take back anything I said four years ago (and in the last year) about people from those states being inbred. They really have proved the world otherwise.

I was stunned how extraordinarily classy McCain was about his loss. His concession speech was probably the first time in all these months I've actually been able to listen to him for more than two minutes and feel no creepiness emanating from him.

I was screaming in the car ride as McCain was giving his speech: "We need to get out of this car! We need to watch Obama's victory speech!"


We paid $20 to park Soo-Jin's car in Hollywood to go to the "No on 8" party at the Music Box. Last night was like Happy New Year except Tuesday and a week night. The place was at capacity and we were in line outside trying to get in. Cars were honking victoriously. People jumping and screaming in the street (mostly me).

I was screaming at the security people keeping the line at the Music Box: "Please let us in! There is history happening in a bit! I can't tell my kids that when Obama gave his speech that I was stuck in a line outside the Music Box!"

We decided to go to the restaurant next door which was a very good option. They had TVs, beers and seats. It was amazing to sit there with people who were also so awed by the moment. I was a wee bit out of control in my enthusiasm (as I'd been a bit inebriated since 6pm-- taking sake shots with each state that went blue) but so was everyone else. We were screaming in that bar. Toasting! Crying! I even kissed a couple people (in a non-romantic way)! And when Obama gave that speech there wasn't an unawed faced in the crowd.



I finally got to watch McCain's speech just now on Youtube. On the radio, you couldn't see how Sarah Palin was crying in the back. Part of me is going to miss that crazy unqualified would be VP... but not enough to ever want to see her or her politics near my country again. May she rest in peace along Dan Quayle in the annals of political humor history.

I think it's odd to see disappointed Republicans who remind me of left wingers of 2000 and 2004. They are now the downtrodden. They are the ones who are depressed. They are suddenly "the oppressed" the "unheard." They talk of doom and gloom the way we did when Bush was elected, then re-elected.

Maybe they will be the ones to start making bad performance art. They are kind of off to a good start with all their "anti-Obama" art. They seriously should consider taking a survey class in post modern agit-prop theater art.

Later that night, I was at a burrito stand in Echo Park. Cars were still honking and hipsters were screaming in the streets about the high speed train to San Francisco that we will build. One guy was so wasted that he screamed into a police car at a red light, "WE DID IT!! OBAMA!!"

It was amazing, then sobering again when two homeless people came by begging for money and booze. They could have cared less who was elected.

This morning, I was in bed wondering: Holy shit, what am I going to do for a living now that cynicism has been eradicated from this planet? It's like I have to look at my role as an artist in a whole new way. It's no longer through the POV of the reactive and helpless American, but instead, from a place where an impossible victory was had. It's like we've been freed by some awful prison sentence. Finally our utopia has arrived.

Oh, but wait....

Prop 8 passed. Some church that I don't belong to (and one very large church in Utah that I definitely don't belong to) has decided how half the state should define marriage. Ah yes, I remember that old familiar cynicism because it's coming back to me.


Yesterday I worked for three hours at a polling place in Brentwood to remind voters "No on 8." It was amazing how many people took the day off of work to volunteer. There was even an exchange student from Chile there who is going home in a few months but didn't want to see the proposition pass and was spending the ENTIRE day electioneering at the polls.

My bright moment was when I managed to fenagle a couple of potential "Yes" voters to "Nos." They were these women who were a little one the shortbus side. You know, wearing their ID's and bus passes on those clear plastic necklace thingies, lobotomy scars, and wearing sweatshirts and scrub pants even though they clearly didn't work in a hospital.

The scenario played like this....

KW: Hi, vote no on 8.

Shortbus women: Which one is this?

KW: This is the one that would eliminate marriage rights for all.

Shortbus: (confused) So I believe marriage should be for a man and a woman. Is this the one it is?

KW: Yes, this one is for equal rights and the right to marry for all. (Then I start nodding obligingly like I totally get them.)

Other volunteer: Yes, see, Arnold Schwartzenegger endorses No on 8. A no vote is about marriage equality and equality for all.

(women seem obviously confused by what the word "equality" means)

Shortbus: So if I vote "no" that would mean I am for or against gay marriage?

KW: Yes, a "no" vote would support marriage equality. (I hand her a flier as if it will help her in the booth to meet her objective.)

Shortbus: Oh! Ok! (She starts nodding to her friend. Looking at flier. They walk off.)

(We act calm as volunteers and start screaming at how we just manipulated the mentally challenged as soon as they are out of earshot.)

Hey, listen! I didn't lie to them! I just told them what was up. That a NO vote would support equality. Which is all it is.

There was an occasional hostile voter who would grumble or shoot a bad look as soon as they saw us. But it was nowhere near as hostile as how I thought electioneering would be. I imagined getting into shouting matches with old people. But nothing close to that ever happened.

One woman said, "I'm voting against this! But if there is anyone who has an issue with gays sees this they won't vote no! You just totally screwed yourselves!" and stormed off.

We were pretty confused by her too..

I had a tough moment with one woman who said, "It's not that I'm against gays or anything but my church told me that if gays are allowed to marry, then our church would have to marry them. And we don't want to be sued and lose our tax exempt status for having to refuse to marry gays. I have to vote 'yes' to protect my church."

Of course, what she had been told by her church is a huge point of misinformation about Prop 8. Churches cannot be forced to marry gay couples (and why would a gay couple want to be married in a church that hates them?) and the government does not have a role in changing how churches run. But Churches have told this and other lies to get their congregations to vote YES.

Sheep and Mentally Challenged people-- these are the voters who favor crappy propositions.

I learned from our volunteer captain that propositions get on the ballot when enough petition signatures are gathered. This is not how it happens in other states. The proposition system is great and problematic this way. The perks-- anyone can get a proposition on the ballot. The bummer--- anyone can get a proposition on the ballot. This is why so often, we have very strange propositions on the ballots.

There was this one proposition about requiring roomier chickens cages that passed. I actually looked at the voting grids and it looks like everyone in California cities voted in favor of it while the rural farm parts voted against it. It's kind of like Prop 8, people who aren't affected by gay marriage deciding the fate of gay couples. Except it seems that people who don't own chickens care more about having room for chickens than they do about actual human beings and just want the equal right to marry who they love.

It was warming to see a lot of older folks, folks who were straight and had no immediate stake in gay marriage say things like: "Absolutely! Without question!"

Some people were so passionately supportive: "I can't believe this fucking thing is even on the ballot? Who cares if gay people get to marry? It's none of my business!"


One great funny moment last night was the Mayor came by to the "No on 8" party. I was inebriated, but my friend was more so. And as I stood at the side of the stage so the mayor could come through, she threw her drunk ass on me and we both fell on the floor.

I was screaming as she was on top of me, "Get up! Get up! The mayor is trying to get through."

And next thing you know, Mayor Villaraigosa is hovering over the two of us on the floor holding his hand out to us, getting us up off the ground asking, "Are you ok?!"

By the way, our mayor is really freaking handsome.

It strikes my friend and her wife that we are talking to the mayor and they start screaming! Then I start screaming, "Sorry! We're drunk! And you are the mayor! And I voted for you!"

I took a picture of him with my friends who just got married and was screaming to him: "Mayor! They just got married this weekend and we want to keep it that way!"

He is a good guy and gave a great speech that we would not let this fight end here.

But anyway, Prop 8 passed. I'm still in denial. I haven't moved the "No on 8" sign off my balcony.

Labels: magic powers, Obama is hot, vision

Not bad. I got to my polling place at 7:04 am and was out of there just before 8am. The word on the East Coast from my tech Jen in Philadelphia was that the lines were 2 hours long.

Which leaves me wondering... either West LA polling places are super efficient or not enough people are voting!?!


But I loved being in that line with my fellow Americans, I took at least 20 photos of the whole process on my Blackberry. I was ready to wait up to 3 hours which is why I was up at the ass crack of dawn. I couldn't sleep as I listened to the rain. This is like the prom or something.

I feel so proud to be an American citizen.

There were times in line this morning when I just wanted to shout and scream, "Yes! We are Americans!!!" and high five my fellow Americans (be they Democrats or even Republicans-- gasp!) for showing up to vote!


It was cool seeing the teenage boy who lives in my building and his mom coming out of the polling place before me. They are black. I bet this was his first time voting and what a great thing it must have been for them to see a black candidate on the ballot for the highest position in the land. He said hi. It was so cool to see my neighbors at the polls. Like a real community.


Here is how I voted on one important item.....


And another.....

And in two hours, I'll be handing out palm cards for "No on 8!"


Those ballots are scary. I was shaking as I held my pen because I didn't want to make any mistakes. I've pretty much memorized all my votes, but as I'm in there looking at the different little dots.... I'm like: Wait! Did I do this right?! Is it No or Yes?!!

I double checked it all for accuracy and handed it nervously to the Armenian senior citizen poll worker who was taking the ballots and running them through the machine.

By the way, I don't want to give anymore attention to the opposition but I must point out how bad the acting in the following two commercials are. I don't know what remedial ass acting class they got these actors from, if anything, the bad acting should clue you in to how hard it was to find people willing to represent a "pro" position on this crap.

If you are still undecided on Props 4 and 8-- just vote against them based on the bad acting....



This is funny, I saw it when I got home and was laughing to no end. You can almost see the guy fishing for his lines. I'm glad that they were able to give work to the out of work writers of 80s afterschool specials for this one.



The look of disdain on the actor playing Mommy's face is priceless.

"And you know what else I learned Mommy? That the princess can use a harness and a plug and whips and chains!?!"

Anyway, back to freaking out around the house.....

Labels: Obama is hot, vision

This update is dedicated to all the great findings here in the last days of my residency.



My new fishing buddy Aaron is perhaps the youngest living male in the City of Englewood at the ripe age of 27. Too bad I'm married huh? This is the snook he caught this morning. Because they are protected (spawning season), he threw it back.



Here's a snapper we caught! A bit small but still good to eat! It was the first fish that I have eaten straight from the water. I don't know why Aaron's shorts look like they are falling down like that in this picture. I don't remember them doing that in real life. (Oh the mockery of this cat lady. Oh the mockery.)



But boy, do I love having all these adventures with my wife! She's so much fun!


But it was no easy task to clean a fish! Yuck! Check out this video of him cleaning the fish.... That thing wouldn't die!





Before cooking....



After! The snapper was actually very small and very bony. So we got all of two bites of fish in each filet.



I'm still kinda crap as a fisherwoman. My new show, CAT LADY that premieres next week uses a lot of fishing (a great way to excuse all this leisure time as "research"). Here is some once live bait I used that got a huge bite on it's side. I'm all bait and no bite I tell you.




We also got a great full moon sunset out here where the tide was so low that sand dunes appeared. Places where the water normally goes to your waist or higher, you could walk right through.


Watch as I narrate the sunset. On full moon nights there is a rare burst of green light that appears when the sun goes down. You can't see it in the video but it's still gorgeous to take in everything else you can get from the video.





See how low the water gets?


I thought this was a good picture of Sonja doing what she does best. Photography!

Later that full moon night we went looking for sea turtles laying eggs. We thought it best to split up and each patrol in a different direction. I saw two fresh sea turtle nests and Sonja saw one. But we didn't see the turtles. It's nuts because they lay eggs in holes that they make at least 18 inches deep and then they cover them before going back to the water. So they must have worked fast because we totally missed them. I think I saw a turtle as she was leaving the nest she made. I think I saw her back as she disappeared in the tide.




This is what a fresh sea turtle nest looks like! You can see two sets of tracks (one going from the water, and one going back to the water). The little mound is where the turtle dug, laid, and buried her eggs.



In the morning, Sonja and I woke up super early to watch the sea turtle patrol dig up nests that were past gestation. The patrol is made up of cool volunteers who dig up nests, then count the numbers of non-viable eggs and hatched eggs. They also keep track and protect the area around new eggs. Sometimes they find live or dead baby turtles in the nests they dig up.




Here are the eggs they dug up. A lot were not good, but the ones that still might hatch are reburied closer to the surface where they will get more heat and the babies will have an easier time digging their way out.


When a new nest is discovered by the patrol, the nest is marked by a stake that records the nest number, date of laying, and the initials of the people patrolling. This is the nest Sonja found the night before. The "KW" is yours truly!


Here are two geckos, mocking me with their lovemaking.

Here is a video I made of them. It's not very clever. And moves as much as the above photo. Gecko penises are red btw.



Sonja knows how to handle my camera better than me. Here I am in the gulf with the Hermitage House behind me. Today the water was so clear we could see our feet at the bottom.



I also have made a lot of crafts while here. The local wildlife has inspired a lot of new animal shapes.



If my fishing skills suck, at least I can improvise!



Here is a dead mouse I'm using in Cat Lady.


And of course! Sea turtles! If I can't spot them live, I can at least make them. This is for the woman who nominated me to come here.



Come on, you know you want to see another sunset photo! It feels like every sunset is so different here.

Labels: artist life., cat lady, cat pee, crafty, hot people, i'm kristina wong, oh my god, rednecks, road wong, sex is unnecessary when you have yarn, the secret, vision

I know I must seem annoyingly utopic to read, especially if you are at your day job when you read my blog and I'm here on the beach being artsy.

"Damn that Kristina Wong for getting to go to Florida to be an artist."

I'm sad it will be over soon, I will have to head back to LA in less than two weeks, and I have to go back to my life of squeezing creative time between administrative errands that afford me the creative space. When I return, I am committed to changing my habits so that I really make more creative space in my life and don't get drowned in the particulars.

Add to my new crack-like addictions (which already included crafts, knitting, bikes and VH1)--- my new addiction to CNN. CNN is much easier on the eyes with Obama running for office. But watching so much CNN can cause panic about the future.

How am I going to fuel my vegetable oil car!? How will I survive this economy? How will I afford to eat if we run out of food? What about Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae and Indymac?!?! What will I do if the arts world dries up and there is no more milk for this little kitty to lap?

PANIC PANIC PANIC!!!

No friends, we can't panic. We just can't. I don't know what the answers to all this crap of the world are... BUT we must have vision and look at the future and be creative and say, "How can we find ways to still be happy and enjoy ourselves in the midst of this panic?"

For me, I like to sew things. And it makes me happy. And I've gotten to read a lot of books. I'm also reading a book my friend Danielle gave me many years ago called "Succulent Wild Woman" by Sark. Sark talks about learning to live with and without money. And not letting your money define your identity. She talks about how women should get married to themselves (sound familiar?) and having tea parties for other great women.

The other artist here Sonja and I have become great friends. She's my best friend here besides Bruce the director of the Hermitage. Yes, there are just three people here. And I love them.

Sonja wrote a nice blog about me.

Little things are great things that make life great. So don't be scared of the future Kristina, you can handle anything!

Labels: crafty, i'm kristina wong, road wong, the secret, vacation?, veggie oil car, vision

Hey riends, my f key is still out, so this update is mostly video and pictures.


Kristina Wong-- Fishing with Crackers Videoblog 7/5/08 from kristina wong on Vimeo.
Summing up my day with the redneck dad I never had.


Me showing my rod.


This is what I almost caught except like mine was over two feet long.


Another snook.


Iguana under the house.


This is Larry, my redneck Daddy, casting a net.


An unpublished videoblog from last week.


The Fireworks at the Beach! Right where I am staying.


Shark teeth that are ancient and wash up on the beach. There is also a manatee rib.


A guy caught a shark at sundown. A little baby.


But too small.


I am so lucky.


Yeah.

Labels: artist life, i'm kristina wong, moon, road wong, The New Tweens, the secret, uck you, vision

That would be me on the Jumbotron....

I'm back in Florida at the beach house after spending the night on a red eye flight. I got in this morning. Can I say that the neck pillow ranks as one of the world's best inventions? I slept so much better with the neck pillow than on the flight to LA where my bobbing neck almost snapped in half trying to sleep!

Well, my weekend was unreal. I went from running among the geckos on this Florida island, to speaking at Pauley Pavilion(!!) to UCLA's Commencement for the Department of English! It was a little weird to come back to the big city life that this retreat was meant to be an escape from... to be driving my car (which btw, I am so happy to leave parked for the next five weeks... far away from the gas crisis) and to be amongst, of all things.... people! And lots of them!

There were many things that were unreal about the whole thing. I thought it best to sum up the experience in a videoblog below.

My commencement speech experience on videoblog!


Untitled from kristina wong on Vimeo.

After recording this, I realized I am totally dressed inappropriately for the video blog. Maybe I could have slapped on some make-up or worn more clothes... but it's freaking hot outside! What do you expect? Screw it! You get me in the raw! And you get to see my granny panties coming out of my shorts in the beginning. SIGH.


Check out the dolphin sleeves they gave me on this gown. I was actually able to use them to store my speech and blackberry. (Perhaps storage is really what they are for?) I think I was the only one at this commencement wearing plastic jewelry.


What a great Father's Day gift for my dad to be able to bring him back to my old college campus and have him hear me speak at commencement! I was so proud to give him that moment.



They had an old bio for me and introduced me as "Kristina Wong is a Performance Artist." I almost wanted to laugh at how weird that sounded. And I am sure they did too.

"Yes, that's right. You heard the man. I'm a performance artist. Quit laughing."




Here I am standing among the Harry Potter people.


Hmmm.... It's not really the 99 seat theater I'm used to.


Seeing as how many people were there, maybe I should I have worked in a pitch to get people into my "multilevel marketing scheme."

"Now if you can get three friends, to get three friends...."

Labels: artist life, i'm kristina wong, toastmaster wong, vision