Damn! Look at the fish I caught!

This update is dedicated to all the great findings here in the last days of my residency.



My new fishing buddy Aaron is perhaps the youngest living male in the City of Englewood at the ripe age of 27. Too bad I'm married huh? This is the snook he caught this morning. Because they are protected (spawning season), he threw it back.



Here's a snapper we caught! A bit small but still good to eat! It was the first fish that I have eaten straight from the water. I don't know why Aaron's shorts look like they are falling down like that in this picture. I don't remember them doing that in real life. (Oh the mockery of this cat lady. Oh the mockery.)



But boy, do I love having all these adventures with my wife! She's so much fun!


But it was no easy task to clean a fish! Yuck! Check out this video of him cleaning the fish.... That thing wouldn't die!





Before cooking....



After! The snapper was actually very small and very bony. So we got all of two bites of fish in each filet.



I'm still kinda crap as a fisherwoman. My new show, CAT LADY that premieres next week uses a lot of fishing (a great way to excuse all this leisure time as "research"). Here is some once live bait I used that got a huge bite on it's side. I'm all bait and no bite I tell you.




We also got a great full moon sunset out here where the tide was so low that sand dunes appeared. Places where the water normally goes to your waist or higher, you could walk right through.


Watch as I narrate the sunset. On full moon nights there is a rare burst of green light that appears when the sun goes down. You can't see it in the video but it's still gorgeous to take in everything else you can get from the video.





See how low the water gets?


I thought this was a good picture of Sonja doing what she does best. Photography!

Later that full moon night we went looking for sea turtles laying eggs. We thought it best to split up and each patrol in a different direction. I saw two fresh sea turtle nests and Sonja saw one. But we didn't see the turtles. It's nuts because they lay eggs in holes that they make at least 18 inches deep and then they cover them before going back to the water. So they must have worked fast because we totally missed them. I think I saw a turtle as she was leaving the nest she made. I think I saw her back as she disappeared in the tide.




This is what a fresh sea turtle nest looks like! You can see two sets of tracks (one going from the water, and one going back to the water). The little mound is where the turtle dug, laid, and buried her eggs.



In the morning, Sonja and I woke up super early to watch the sea turtle patrol dig up nests that were past gestation. The patrol is made up of cool volunteers who dig up nests, then count the numbers of non-viable eggs and hatched eggs. They also keep track and protect the area around new eggs. Sometimes they find live or dead baby turtles in the nests they dig up.




Here are the eggs they dug up. A lot were not good, but the ones that still might hatch are reburied closer to the surface where they will get more heat and the babies will have an easier time digging their way out.


When a new nest is discovered by the patrol, the nest is marked by a stake that records the nest number, date of laying, and the initials of the people patrolling. This is the nest Sonja found the night before. The "KW" is yours truly!


Here are two geckos, mocking me with their lovemaking.

Here is a video I made of them. It's not very clever. And moves as much as the above photo. Gecko penises are red btw.



Sonja knows how to handle my camera better than me. Here I am in the gulf with the Hermitage House behind me. Today the water was so clear we could see our feet at the bottom.



I also have made a lot of crafts while here. The local wildlife has inspired a lot of new animal shapes.



If my fishing skills suck, at least I can improvise!



Here is a dead mouse I'm using in Cat Lady.


And of course! Sea turtles! If I can't spot them live, I can at least make them. This is for the woman who nominated me to come here.



Come on, you know you want to see another sunset photo! It feels like every sunset is so different here.

Don't be scared of the future.

IMG_1674
Originally uploaded by lewongster

I know I must seem annoyingly utopic to read, especially if you are at your day job when you read my blog and I'm here on the beach being artsy.

"Damn that Kristina Wong for getting to go to Florida to be an artist."

I'm sad it will be over soon, I will have to head back to LA in less than two weeks, and I have to go back to my life of squeezing creative time between administrative errands that afford me the creative space. When I return, I am committed to changing my habits so that I really make more creative space in my life and don't get drowned in the particulars.

Add to my new crack-like addictions (which already included crafts, knitting, bikes and VH1)--- my new addiction to CNN. CNN is much easier on the eyes with Obama running for office. But watching so much CNN can cause panic about the future.

How am I going to fuel my vegetable oil car!? How will I survive this economy? How will I afford to eat if we run out of food? What about Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae and Indymac?!?! What will I do if the arts world dries up and there is no more milk for this little kitty to lap?

PANIC PANIC PANIC!!!

No friends, we can't panic. We just can't. I don't know what the answers to all this crap of the world are... BUT we must have vision and look at the future and be creative and say, "How can we find ways to still be happy and enjoy ourselves in the midst of this panic?"

For me, I like to sew things. And it makes me happy. And I've gotten to read a lot of books. I'm also reading a book my friend Danielle gave me many years ago called "Succulent Wild Woman" by Sark. Sark talks about learning to live with and without money. And not letting your money define your identity. She talks about how women should get married to themselves (sound familiar?) and having tea parties for other great women.

The other artist here Sonja and I have become great friends. She's my best friend here besides Bruce the director of the Hermitage. Yes, there are just three people here. And I love them.

Sonja wrote a nice blog about me.

Little things are great things that make life great. So don't be scared of the future Kristina, you can handle anything!

fishing with crackers

Hey riends, my f key is still out, so this update is mostly video and pictures.


Kristina Wong-- Fishing with Crackers Videoblog 7/5/08 from kristina wong on Vimeo.
Summing up my day with the redneck dad I never had.


Me showing my rod.


This is what I almost caught except like mine was over two feet long.


Another snook.


Iguana under the house.


This is Larry, my redneck Daddy, casting a net.


An unpublished videoblog from last week.


The Fireworks at the Beach! Right where I am staying.


Shark teeth that are ancient and wash up on the beach. There is also a manatee rib.


A guy caught a shark at sundown. A little baby.


But too small.


I am so lucky.


Yeah.

Pomp and Circumstance

That would be me on the Jumbotron....

I'm back in Florida at the beach house after spending the night on a red eye flight. I got in this morning. Can I say that the neck pillow ranks as one of the world's best inventions? I slept so much better with the neck pillow than on the flight to LA where my bobbing neck almost snapped in half trying to sleep!

Well, my weekend was unreal. I went from running among the geckos on this Florida island, to speaking at Pauley Pavilion(!!) to UCLA's Commencement for the Department of English! It was a little weird to come back to the big city life that this retreat was meant to be an escape from... to be driving my car (which btw, I am so happy to leave parked for the next five weeks... far away from the gas crisis) and to be amongst, of all things.... people! And lots of them!

There were many things that were unreal about the whole thing. I thought it best to sum up the experience in a videoblog below.

My commencement speech experience on videoblog!


Untitled from kristina wong on Vimeo.

After recording this, I realized I am totally dressed inappropriately for the video blog. Maybe I could have slapped on some make-up or worn more clothes... but it's freaking hot outside! What do you expect? Screw it! You get me in the raw! And you get to see my granny panties coming out of my shorts in the beginning. SIGH.


Check out the dolphin sleeves they gave me on this gown. I was actually able to use them to store my speech and blackberry. (Perhaps storage is really what they are for?) I think I was the only one at this commencement wearing plastic jewelry.


What a great Father's Day gift for my dad to be able to bring him back to my old college campus and have him hear me speak at commencement! I was so proud to give him that moment.



They had an old bio for me and introduced me as "Kristina Wong is a Performance Artist." I almost wanted to laugh at how weird that sounded. And I am sure they did too.

"Yes, that's right. You heard the man. I'm a performance artist. Quit laughing."




Here I am standing among the Harry Potter people.


Hmmm.... It's not really the 99 seat theater I'm used to.


Seeing as how many people were there, maybe I should I have worked in a pitch to get people into my "multilevel marketing scheme."

"Now if you can get three friends, to get three friends...."

The Writer's Blocked Life

This is what it looks like over the gulf right before the storms come in.

I'm so so so so close to finishing this commencement speech. It's killing me. It's taking me days to articulate and filter down what I want to say. It's hard when I can't rely on my old stand-bys to get me through this speech-- no profanity, no strap on vag, no-strap on weiner, no battery powered unitard or karaoke machine, no excessive costuming or super interactiveness... Just words. Encouraging words! UGH!!! So hard!!!

But I feel quite close and I think I can have something by the end of the day.

I am practicing reading this to people. If you want me to read this to you. Email me (k AT kristinasherylwong.com) and I'll read it to you by phone.

I'm also not sleeping well here. Well, I will go to bed listening to the waves but feel unrested when I wake up and have all sorts of weird dreams. This morning I woke up with this nasty crick in my neck and now I can't turn my head to the left all the way.

I will just accept it as me detoxing from city life.

I had my first "race incident" yesterday. It'd been a while since I'd experienced something like this. I decided to go for a walk in the nature walk across the road. Mostly because I wanted to look for iguanas and lizards which I haven't seen since the first day here. And I was actually quite freaked out on the walk because there are these really loud bugs in the trees and you can hear things scampering, like geckos, but you can't see them.

Anyway, so I get out of the walk and there are these leather skin rednecks (there are a lot of them in Florida) drinking beer in their truck. There are two guys and one girl. And I just walk past their truck to cross the street and I hear, "Oh yeah! Chinese... Japanese... Yeah..."

And I turn around and glare and he says it again!

"Ooh.. Chinese Japanese. I'll take them all."

I so badly wanted to flip the bird, or scream something (which I love doing), but they were scary rednecks in a truck with beer cans and I was Kristina Wong with flip flops and house keys.

So I sucked it up and just walked back to the beach house. It's alright. Their lives are so sad with their bright red skin and tattoos that have lost all definition. And my life is great with my air conditioned beach house.

I told my friend D'lo about this. And D'lo says the next time that happens, I should look at them really seriously and be like, "I have Herpes and Clamydia."

I thought that was funny.

The Unstructured Life.

As you can see. I am getting used to being here. And as relaxed as it is-- the isolation, the wildlife, and the long list of stuff I need to accomplish while out here has stacked quite the learning curve. It's actually harder than I thought it would be to figure out how to spend my time here. Time is flying and there's too much work to do.

My commencement speech for this weekend is still tiptoeing together. I have such high standards for how I want it to go off. But I can't shake off the crappy unsolicited advice from my mother's high school friend on how to write a speech. Her stringent advice pretty much boils down to "be a boring know-it-all and make all Chinese people look good." Her shat advice echoes in my head every time my fingers hit the keyboard....

"Stick to one issue, such as "how English helped me to survive and landed me a job in communication/acting/; how English helped me become a writer; etc." NOT SOME CONVULUTED SUBJECT that will take a lifetime to explain. Keep it SIMPLE."




The great news is that the trustees who live on the island are so kind and have offered to take me boating and fishing... something that I've never desired much to do, yet made my wishlist on Monday. Today I left the premises to go to dinner with them and found out there is actually a semblance of commerce about two miles up the road.


The sunset over the Gulf of Mexico.


If you were curious about my cottage. Here is the bed I have that overlooks the sea and the living room area.


Here is my living room. Pretty nice huh? It's the house I imagined having for a long time. And now I feel stressed to make the most of this.

It's a lot to receive, to breathe and move forward.


By the way, I'm also addicted to this amazing show on TLC called "Jon and Kate plus 8"-- about this couple and their kids (a set of twins and a set of sextuplets). The dad is half Korean, but their 1/4 Asian babies look really really Asian! They are such a funny couple and their kids are so adorable. The scenes where the kids are all screaming and yelling makes for a great form of birth control.

Viva Las Wongster!

I am on a layover now at the Vegas airport. I'm on my way to Minneapolis for the Asian American Theater Conference. After that, I head to Florida to do a 6 week residency (with a quick trip back home for the UCLA commencement speech!) where I get to sit on the beach and expect to finally make some substantial progress on my book.

It's here! Rest time! Artist time! Real artist time! Not admin crap time. I can't believe it. I scheduled this residency over a year ago! And it's finally arrived.

I'm fried. I had a big birthday/ wedding party last night, then got home and started to clear the apartment out for the subletter and was up until 5am. My flight was at 7:30am. I was kinda stressed with all these new airline baggage charges and as I got my crap into just one "first bag checked bag is free" suitcase, I was doing all this "Do I have everything I need... do I? Did I pack too much? Am I going to have to pay for a heavy bag!?"

Stressoids.

It's impossible to sleep on the plane. I'm tempted to sign up for a credit card at the airport for the free neck pillow.

Last night was so fun because Marcus did me up as this big drag queeny bride and officiated my wedding to myself at the restaurant. Yes, I got married to myself last night. It was actually as funny as it was emotional. In wedding fashion, my friends gave some words of advice for how the rest of my life will best be spent by myself. I decided to marry myself this year because I originally wanted an excuse to have a "wedding gift registry" for different organizations I believe in and wanted to raise money for. But it ended up being about me declaring that I would love for myself (this is different than being self-obsessed-- which I excel in) no matter what. Unconditional self love and support.

It's a hard thing to commit to doing. But if I can't marry myself, why would anyone else want to? Not that getting married to someone else is the end goal. The end goal is to be happy and happier with life no matter what happens to you that you can't control.

We did a bouquet toss and everything last night. It was hilarious. Pictures to come.

The last days were so impacted. I did my "Whoring for Hollywood! Big Hollywood Showcase!" Monday at the Comedy Central Workspace and it went over really well. Apparently even the folks from Comedy Central had a good laugh. It turns out-- I'm an awesome sellout! I didn't think it was possible for my vision to go over in that kind of setting, but all the time I spent in May working that show so it was still true to who I was, and yet still entertaining-- really paid off. A lot of my friends who hadn't seen me perform in a while came. Like my friend Dwayne came and was like, "Wow, you've really grown a lot."

I have.

The sky is open. I feel it. And I can't wait til I am on the beaches of Florida feeling that sky a few days from now in front of my own private artist's cottage. It's been a nice long crawl to get here and having those little moments to find a little ledge to stand on and admire the view is tremendously validating. A few years ago, I was selling whatever I could online to make ends meet. Now, I am proud to say that even if I spend a lot of time doing arts admin crap, it is at least directed towards my vision.

I am in front of some amazing possibilities. I've earned it. I embrace it.

Obama... you still owe me a shirt!

So for once, in our somewhat impersonal email relationship, Obama emails me, not to ask me for more money... but to tell me... we are pretty much within reach.

It's sweet. But where is my shirt?

The guy asks me every two days for $25. He flakes out on sending me my shirt and I get no time with him because he's so busy with his "career." Geez Louise Obama! Are you my boyfriend or what? Because you are reminding me of men I've dated!

Good news is... I came pretty close to raising my goal of $100 for Myanmar/ Burma. Between Sunshine, KT's partner Kim, Jinsoo and my $20... we have about $100. Thanks for everyone who has sent money over! Next up, I'm trying to save up a little for China's earthquake relief. This month is a little tricky financially because I'm not touring. Not touring= No income! And even with all the cooking I've been doing, money seems to pour through my fingers.

But I have faith! It will all be ok. I'm writing some grants and taking some time to rest and reconnect to LA.... catching up with paperwork... before I leave again.

It's been a bit quiet over here on Planet Wong. I am working on my "Big Hollywood Showcase" that is my Birthday celebration of sorts. It's at the Comedy Central Showcase.... yes... a big deal! Peep the flyer below. And please come!



Basically, I've been reworking my old showbits into this showcase. It's a pretty nutty so far. Kind of filthy and raunchy. But I guess that's who I am on the inside.

Back to the grind.

Helping Others.

I'm overwhelmed by the world outside the United States that is being ravaged. Earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes.

I was on the bus on my way to the mechanic (a place my car loves to be lately), and reading in the LA Times that the best way to help the people in Myanmar would be to give to Unicef. They have an office in Myanmar and are so large and independent that they are able to work around a lot of the government BS.

So I am walking and going through my money in my head and trying to figure out, "How much could I give the people in Myanmar?"

And then I go pick up the car and get slapped with a $700 bill.

Whoops. Maybe those people will have to help me.

But I've been really trying to think lately how as an artist I can help people in other countries. So I was thinking. I would give Unicef $20 and try to get some people to match me. Perhaps if four other people who weren't pushed to give would give, and we could send them $100.

So I'm here with my $20. If you will match it. Let me know.

Here is the link to Unicef.

Write me if you are interested. Let's give!

"So this is what it's like to be in a soft porn."

I'm listening to various commencement speeches online in preparation for my little 10-minute number that I'm given to the graduates in the English Department in June. Right now I'm listening to Steve Jobs who so far I've learned was adopted, dropped out of college, returned bottles for nickels and would treat himself to one meal at the Hare Krishna temple because he was so poor in college.

He's like me, except way richer. I was pretty poor in college. And if not for the Hare Krishna people who fed people by donation, I would have subsided entirely on Tino's burritos, ramen and twix bars.

I actually wanted to drop out of college my first year. The bureaucracy was too much. I wasn't learning all the things I wanted to learn. Something I've noticed that happens to students at some of the universities I go to-- they get lost in the system. But I couldn't listen to my gut. Instead, I listened to fear that being a "college drop out" would damn me for life and make me the great shame of my family. And so I slugged it out in an rigid system. Perhaps this is the great speech I shall give.

"What are you doing here?!? We should be out in the world traveling and making art. Let's save our parents money and get out of this joint!"

I have no idea what my speech will be about. My mother forwarded me this really long email from her high school friend (a Chinese American baby boomer) with Chinese-American- Drill-sargeant-advice for my speech.

Here's an excerpt...

"Tell her to go for it. Keep the 10 min speech professional with a little humor; no off-the-wall jokes; tell the kids what it is like to "really survived" and make it in this tough world. No need to go into long-winded personal biography...the kids would care less. If they really want to know, Kristina could "jokingly" refer them to a website and tell them to read all about it."

My friend Isaac often remarks how irritating it is when people who don't work in our field give advice. I am thinking that perhaps I should send my mother's friend a video of me doing a speech that complies with her advice.... Other notes which include....

"Sticks to one issue, such as "how English helped me to survive and landed me a job in communication/acting/; how English helped me become a writer; etc." NOT SOME CONVULUTED SUBJECT that will take a lifetime to explain. Keep it SIMPLE."

Seeing as I don't actually have a "job" nor any stories of how English helped me survive (I credit my career survivial more to my savage cockroach survival instincts than what I remember of Beowulf), so I'll send her a video of the audience giving me the bird for being such a goody goody know it all.

Or maybe I'll tell a great story about my day yesterday, I locked in that mid-life crisis early with some pin-up photos!

I took the train to New Jersey to sit for pin-up photographer Viva Van Story. The most not well kept secret in the world is that I'm turning 30 in June. Which means I must finally come to grips with the fact that just maybe, I will never be discovered as a supermodel. That the whole supermodel career and becoming a real Miss Chinatown thing or a lingerie model will probably not pan out.

Plus my junk on the front and back are falling down.

The solution? Take hot pictures of myself to put up in my apartment! YES!

It was actually really hard to lie around in underwear and a corset on the floor looking good and now I find myself saying, "Wow, Tyra Banks is actually good at what she does." It probably didn't help much that we shot in a bowling alley where these high school kids were singing Jesus Christ Superstar songs really loud and their parents were circling us. But I did it. The day ended with me naked in a bubble bath making sexy face for the camera. The make-up lady blew bubbles while the photographer said, "Close your mouth. I don't need to see so much of your teeth." And I was screaming, "Holy smokes, so this is what it's like to be in a soft porn!"

That's right kids... I'm going to be your commencement speaker!

Anyway, nobody gets to see the pics. Only me, the two people who visit me a year, and the cat get to see.

Aaahhhh.... This is what it's like to age gracefully.

And as my legs open... so do... the doors!

Well, here's the brief update.

It's over! The giant 4-week leg of work that started last week of December, went through those two crazy weeks in Miami and then five days here with the CBS showcase finally is over!

And I'm supposedly taking a break now by doing paperwork for my upcoming shows, admin, bill paying, etc. Blech Blech.

I wasn't sure what to think of the whole showcase because my performance went by very fast. It was very uncharacteristic of the work I do to be dressed so scandalously and speaking in an annoying voice. All I knew is I opened my mouth to say my first line ("Hi Kids! I'm Tila Tequila!") and before I knew it I was almost done ("Remember! Faculty meeting at noon, in my skirt!")

Afterwards, the friends who came to see me were like, "Damn Kristina! We didn't know you had a body like that!!!"

Indeed. Many do not realize that within this hypocritical post feminist exterior lies the body of a washed up belly dancer. I guess my philosophy was, "Well, if I am going to be in this showcase for all of two minutes, I might as well give them something to look at."

Sorry, no pictures.

I was so glad it was over when it was over. Too much pressure to have to "showcase" myself. I think my solo shows are so much more an indication of how I perform and what I am capable of pulling off. My manager (Oh did I tell you, in my rapidly changing life... I now have a manager... yes, que Hollywood) says that we will prepare a showcase in the Spring that shows off all the guns.

But already the sky has opened nicely. I got a call for an audition tomorrow at Universal. A series regular role on a sitcom pilot. The character has never gone on a date, works with cats, and is obsessive.

Hmmm..... such a stretch.

Hopefully these opportunities will keep pouring in. Not bad considering we are still in the middle of the writer's strike. Then my life will move forward as planned. Get big ass tv jobs, buy house, buy a child from China to call my own, give money to awesome gay charities and artists, end global warming, and relax.

Relax? WTF is that?!

I think the big crossroads that comes up more and more as this Hollywood Wong thing becomes a reality, is how to balance my vision, ethics, and craft within the heartless machine that is the entertainment industry. Well, the ethics part I seem to have all but completely lost in the last few weeks (so no need to fret over that!), but what I've never figured out is how I will bridge all these different identities and still be the awesome Wong who blogs for you now.

The Highest Highs, The Lowest Lows

So I went from being the big Kahuna in Miami to being the doormat du jour in Los Angeles. The CBS showcase is Tuesday and I swear it's crushing my soul. I appear in one sketch (even my one liner role as Ming the Burmese handjob giver was cut). I never remember theater being so cut-throat. It truly is a business. I don't regret the experience of the showcase and it really is thickening my skin.

During yesterday's rehearsal I had the following thoughts. Like really, I had these thoughts...

* "Where can I buy drugs like coke?"
* "Maybe I should call my sex worker friend and see how I can get into her line of work."
* "Is the bar in my closet high enough to hang myself from?"

I also called my hypnotherapist friend during the rehearsal to schedule an emergency appointment. I've never tried hypnotherapy, but right now I need all the magic fairy dust I can get to maintain my sanity.

I was also caught trying to poke my eyes out with my own finger during the rehearsal.

If anything, I am really understanding how important it is that I do my own work and how lucky I am that if this acting stuff never pans out, I will always have performance art to lean on (how freaking strange is that?!). And as much as I want to retire from performance art and make tons of money in ONE city rather than roam the globe for pennies, at least I have my own artistic vision at the end of the day.

My friend, the famous playwright Alice Tuan said that she felt my blogs made it seems like my life was really charmed and easy-ish. Which is so crazy because despite the perks, my life is totally insanely crazy. It was really good seeing Alice last night after the monster day with CBS. I cried and cried and then we laughed together.

Anyway, I've been up looking at my press from Miami. Check it.

Miami New Times
(Yet again, I find another opportunity to call out the Korean Pick Up artist like the psycho freak bitch I am.)


Anyway, so I'm planning to go to church today. I need to pray. I don't care what god. I just need to pray.



I also seem to be on Miami time still. As I'm blogging at 5am and going to bed at 9pm.

Bienvenido a Miami! Where the players play... alone!

Miami has been gorgeous the last few days. It's unreal that I get to be here so long. And I'm almost agitated because I am having a hard time embracing that I've earned this. Can artists really be treated like a million bucks on the road? Like shouldn't someone at some point be bopping me on the head and telling me that the empty dorm room bed awaits me??!

Here's the photo story.

First, as promised. Evidence that Spoon and Brady from VH1's "The Pick Up Artist" did indeed take me to the Airport. No pictures of me WITH them, but that will be the next ride to the airport!



Spoon driving with his 6:30 AM on.




Brady being crushed by my monster luggage.


And now I am in Miami. I've never been treated so well on a residency before. I mean I thought I've been treated well. But his is like fantasy residency! I've been given a rental car, a per diem, two weeks at the Standard and a pretty loose schedule to enjoy the surroundings. The car has a GPS and says, "You have arrived" when I get to my destination. And when it says that. I feel like they are saying so much more. I really have arrived it seems.


I can't believe what a luxury this is. It's like my friend E said once of being hot and single and waking up alone every morning, "This is such a waste!"

Indeed, this place is so gorgeous, it seems quite wasteful to be in this awesome hotel all alone. So guess what? You are coming with me! Check it. I present a grand tour of Miami so far.... Mostly the hotel.


A dock overlooking the water. Just behind the hotel!



The lounge chairs at dusk.



The giant king bed is 6 feet across and mocks soloness when I sleep in it.



This is where you load up in mud and wash it off. Going to try this tomorrow.



The view at dusk.


A note from the general manager welcoming me to the Standard and to Miami. I felt like such a rock star.


Anyway, the being here alone thing is killing me. I can't go this long without having someone to talk to and it's only been like a day! This joint is swarming with couples and cool people. I was thinking there would be solo artists roaming the joint and wanting to party... kinda like when I went to Greece. But in odd ways I'm having flashbacks of middle school. Next week I'll be teaching workshops all over the place and my circle of Miami folk I know will grow. But I feel like I showed up at prom alone being here. It's like a honeymoon for one.

I was thinking about what a rock star I am this week and how people would love to join me. So perhaps my friend Jess is right, I need my own reality show, "a Shot at Love with Kristina Wong" where people vie for my love in special performance art challenge like who can convey the most oppression with fake blood and howling sounds. Ha!





By the way, I'm here early assembling a cast of community artists to be in my show. I already found my cutest cop! Look for Sasha at the show! She takes after her mom who is a notable Miami B Girl.

I got one foot out the door....

Still getting everything together for my big residency in Miami! I can't believe I get to start the year out like this.


So far... no video marriage proposals from my last videoblog. But I did get a comment saying this....

"ya know, you're kind of sexy. lol. i'll marry u. i mean u have great natural beauty, but i was just love to see u in something sexy (short and tight, lol), with a little make-up, and in serious mode. that would be very interesting. i'll be sure to keep the lotion near by should u decide to make a video like that. lol. happy new year!"


Blech. The Wong don't get sexy for nobody.


Well, at least this flyer makes me excited!


With more street cred than you can shake a pair of Hammer pants at, Kristina Wong makes her Miami debut riffing on notions of freedom in times that would make Joe McCarthy gasp. Excerpts include a satirical homage to "save the world in five minutes" spoken word, a Flashdance tribute, and an explanation (or un-explanation) of why she prefers life in the almighty closet. Bidding paddles will be provided for a live auction of gentrified neighborhoods. Adding an interactive element, Kristina will select a group of South Floridians to perform in one segment alongside her.


Miami Light Project
presents
Kristina Wong
Free?
January 16, 2008, 8:00pm
Colony Theater
1040 Lincoln Road, Miami Beach, Fl 33139
Tickets $25.00
For tickets call Ticketmaster at 305.358.5885
or visit www.miamilightproject.com

New Year, New Ramblings.

Aw, so far, it's been a great year. I spent it with friends and laughed a lot more than yesterday when I was lying in bed freaking out about how I'm going to pull off the next three weeks. And then the next three weeks after that... and after that...

I'm taking matters into my own hands and am asking folks to start proposing to me via youtube. Men, women, children, animals.... No marriage proposal too scary or flippant. We must send the energy waves my way so that I will be married to a rich oil tycoon by the end of the year and can retire from performance art to become a lady of leisure.

And guess what! My "Buy Nothing Year" is finally over! Can you believe I went all of 2007 without buying new clothes or non-perishable gifts? It wasn't that hard, but I did stave off temptation on more than a few occasions. Now.... Let me at the mall! I got an economy to feed!

Swan Song of 2007

I thought I'd videoblog on the last day of the year. It's boring but it lets you know what I'm up to. I'm basically getting ready to kill in Miami at the South Beach Comedy Festival.

Check this out...

I spent today-- laughing, crying, getting angry, feeling freaked out and alone, feeling suicidal, and then feeling great again. It's kind of like this whole year of my life wrapped up in one strange last day.

I'm off to a New Year's get together at Helena's place.

Not sure what will happen at the end of 2008. But I can only hope it will be as good to me as 2007 was. I've had few years as good as this one.

The Indiana Slumlord speaks.

So I'm up in San Francisco again for a grant panel. And now I'm headed back again next week for Takesgiving.

My three day run in Los Angeles this week was nuts. I did a show, got interviewed for current tv about the car, did some acting work, went to a rehearsal at CBS, threw out a bunch of crap from the apartment. Then ran back to the airport to sit on a grant panel in SF. I'm actually in the process of re-establishing residency in San Francisco (and will be living both here and in LA when there is work). I can't wait because there's so much more grant money here for the arts.

So...I have been giving this real estate thing another thought. I don't know if I'm going to be a slumlord in Indiana. This global warming/ end of the world thing is kinda making me wonder if it makes sense to own anything anymore. Like isn't the world going to just explode soon? And will is even matter to own property? Shouldn't I just spend my money on margaritas and a good massage?

If only there was a scientist who could weigh these options for me.

One of my friends who now owns sent me some interesting things to ask myself...

"Do I want the length of my life in Los Angeles to be determined by a
housing market or by me?
Am I making enough money and can I commit to making that much money,
that is, never again making less money, for the rest of my life?
Do I love the place or am I just in love with the idea of being a
homeowner?
Can I do all that homeowner crap on my own (unless you got married
recently and I just missed that somehow)?"

And there's also the fact that while I may not seem to be "directly" impacted by the mortgage crisis and could stand to own for the first time out of it, I am part of the economy and could easily be a homeowner with flailing arms trying to figure out what to do in a rocky home owning economy. So for now, renting is ok.

All I know is, I'm having a rough time today where I am feeling under-accomplished and overwhelmed by life. I'm running into artists doing as much as I take on, if not more, and some of them have kids, and even had a wild past where they are now sobered up meth addicts. I don't even have the excuse that I was a meth addict to account for a lot of wasted time in my 20's. Just sleeping too much and being involved in too many projects that never got finished. I can't imagine having a kid on top of it.

Do you ever feel like I do right now? Like despite having done a lot in your life, it still isn't enough?

Thoughts please.

Protecting the Vision

I just got off the phone with Pearl J Park, a filmmaker in NYC who is doing a documentary on depression among APAs. She was interested in shooting the show in NY for her doc. I found myself getting into the old familiar rant that I've been getting into lately about how much I hate Q&As, how I resent being a "spokesperson" for all things traumatic and suicidal, how I resent being the "go-to" girl when you need to talk to someone "authentically mentally ill".

Poor woman had to listen to me ranting about this. Poor me had to rant.

Also my dear readers, I don't know if you are listening out there, but here I go again, screaming into the sky. I really appreciate your support, but please know I am DONE with adding new parts of the show. I don't need to talk to any more depressed people. I don't need to read any more articles. And I don't need to be forwarded anything anymore. I appreciate you volunteering information to me. But I'm DONE.

PLEASE STOP SENDING ME ARTICLES, RECOMMENDATION ON DEPRESSED PEOPLE TO TALK TO, AND RECOMMENDATIONS FOR NEW SECTIONS ON THE SHOW.

AND NO. I'M NOT GOING TO DO A SHOW ABOUT ASIAN MEN AND DEPRESSION.

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!

One thing Pearl said on the phone is how important it is to protect our vision as artists and to protect ourselves. I look back at the last year of putting this show together and feel like the community has metaphorically raped me. I know... this is an extreme thing to say. But I feel like very few people in their interest in their show actually cared about what my artistic vision was, and instead have pushed their agenda on me to enact. I especially felt raped by my audience during my Q&As in the Bay Area. There I was up onstage, letting myself be vulnerable and miscontextualized. Being asked to expose my most private parts. And unable to say no or stop it. It was horrible.

I don't ever want that to happen again.

I was asked once to be on a radio show where the topic would be depression and suicide among APAs. I said I was happy to come on and talk about my show and the tricky process of trying to make it. But they wanted me to come on as an "authentically suicidal woman" and talk about my non-existent "experiences of being suicidal." NO THANKS! I'm not going to even begin to tell you how annoying and wrong that was.

Nurit, my director said, "You know, you get those questions, because you invite people to invade you like that. If you don't want that to happen, then don't do the Q&A."

Leilani suggested that we put cards in the program and feedback can be written in those cards instead of asked during the Q&A.

I really feel it time to put my foot down. So from here on out. No more Q&As. We are scrapping the Q&A in LA. There's no reason for them. I get nothing from them but grief. I'm totally incoherent during them. I'll do them at schools, if they want them to be done and if there are enough moderators present. But no more fielding questions from people that serve no purpose but to agitate me.

***

And now... onto other less agitated news.


The folks at Lunapads found my blog and invited me especially to enter their commercial contest. I put this together in an hour.



I think I got a good shot of winning since there were only 6 entries.

I will win more cloth pads if I am picked. Yay.



My friend Alex in London did a response video. Ironically, his has more views than mine.


Now I have to go meditate because I'm agitated.